After episode 2 I felt that I needed to write this. I do apologise for any mistakes, I find it incredibly painful to read my own work - especially smut.
The First Time
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
You want your first time to be special, and it is. You think. Despite the fumbling, and bumbling, and the constant tremor of your hands because you know what's coming. You're so completely aware of the fact that you're about to do this. For the first time. With Karma.
It's not planned. The thought hadn't crossed your mind as you stepped through the threshold of her house that evening. All you knew was the warmth of her hand in your own, and the subtle smile that tinted her lips gracefully. Though perhaps it was planned on her behalf. You have to wonder if she had been hoping all along that it would end like this. But she looks just as shocked and nervous as you when it begins so you ignore the lingering suspicion. Maybe you'll ask later, if your mind isn't too boggled with her smell, and her taste, and the feel of her bare skin as it skirts across your own dancing and playing like old friends.
It starts off slow.
It starts off the same as it always does. Karma inevitably gets bored of the documentary you're watching because the girl was willing to pretend to be blind, and her moral compass isn't straight enough for her to fully care about the cause that they rattle on about for two hours.
You don't dare question is however, mostly because you can't really form any coherent thoughts let alone witty retorts that aren't simply a stuttered mumble of 'boobs'.
You were lying on your bed with your body wrapped around her because she insists she be the little spoon, since you're the 'butch' one and she is smaller and thus predetermined laws say you must be the big spoon. You don't mind. In fact, you welcome the warmth of her body pressed in to you. You love the varying pressures of her body against yours as she takes long deep breaths (from years of her mother forcing yoga upon her).
You bask in the sickeningly sweet scent of her hair. She insists on having fruit shampoo. It fits her, you think, the fresh scent of strawberries and raspberries that flutters through the air wherever she walks, but it also means she's all you can think about when you eat them – which is usually at breakfast, that you eat with your family that still aren't quite accepting. To say that they didn't understand the wistful look upon your face would be an understatement. At this point you're pretty sure they have just resigned themselves to the fact that you're a lesbian with a fruit fetish. You can't bring yourself to care though because it's Karma, and you do a lot of horrible things for that girl.
She turns so that you're face to face, and the corner of your mouth upturns at the lack of space between the two of you. You know she's going to kiss you because she has the look. The look that consists of devious eyes and a smile that is half smirk, half grin, full salacious, and it makes you shiver. You've been doing it for months – the kissing, and the hugging, and the occasional wandering hand but each time you still tremble at that look. You would do anything for that look, and you would do anything for her. You'll probably end up hiding a body some day, but not today, because today she's too busy to kill anyone. Except maybe you.
She drags her bottom lip over yours. She doesn't pucker. She doesn't apply pressure. It isn't a kiss. It's a tease of what's to come. You, just as every other time, don't have the patience and so you part your lips, catching hers as they slip their way back down. She runs her thumb along you jaw when she kisses harder, almost as though she is trying to hold herself back. That's exactly what you don't want. In control Karma is hot. Out of control Karma is a fire that can't be tamed. Strangely you find you love the heat.
You roll the two of you until you sit rest between her legs as she slips her tongue into your mouth. Her tongue twirls in your mouth, in a routine that seems both practiced and spontaneous, skill and luck showcased all at once. She tastes like chocolate and something organic that would usually seem gross but it's Karma and so it suddenly seems gourmet.
You smile into the kiss when she finds just the right angle to flip your positions. Her fingers scrap your scalp, and you're grasping at her hips trying to keep some semblance of control in the situation because she's rolling her hips. She's never done that before. You're not prepared for the kind of heat that swirls in your abdomen. You whimper pathetically in her mouth and she swallows the sound gratefully, mimicking you only a moment later.
You don't know what to think when her hands snake up your shirt. She runs her hands along the bare skin of your stomach and you feel the heated muscles tense under the icy touch of her hand. Your breath catches in your throat when she nips at your lip and tugs at the shirt incessantly. You don't even question it as you raise your arms. You're not thinking straight. You're hair is disheveled and spilling over your chest. It's the only things covering your breasts and she is looking down at you like you're the most beautiful thing in the world. You shuffle under her intense gaze. You're not secure enough in yourself to allow the speculation to go on for long.
She seems to sense your discomfort because she pulls your hand to the hem of her shirt, gesticulating for you to pull it off. You take a shaky breath when you finally set eyes on her body. You two have never gone this far. You can't imagine going back now. You can't imagine not having memorized the beauty mark just below her left breast. Or the way her stomach twitches as she breathes. You can't imagine not knowing the feeling of her breasts pressing into your own. It's an addiction the moment it happens, and suddenly anything seems fair game.
You let your hands run up her sides, reveling in the trail of goose bumps that follow her every movement. You grab her breasts experimentally. Your brow furrows because you have so many questions that you think vocalizing will ruin the moment. Does she like this? Is this alright? Is she just pretending to be into this?
You forget every single nagging question at the moan she emits when you brush your thumb over your nipple. You're still a nervous wreck but you make the bold move of catching her nipple in your mouth. You nip lightly at her breast. You'll leave a mark you think, and she'll probably moan about you tainting her flawless skin later, but for now she simply groans and tightens the hold she has on your head. You copy your ministrations on the other breast before you drag her with you so that her entire weight is pressing into you deliciously. You're basing every one of your movements on the musical sounds spilling from her lips, and the article her mother emailed to you that you denied reading when she asked.
Her lips are on yours once again, and the passion is growing and growing. She bites your lip and a sound you'd probably classify as a growl rips from your chest. It's that sensation that makes you roll your bodies and slip her pajamas bottoms down her legs without hesitation. The moment you see her completely naked in front of you – you stop. You crawl back up her body, not daring to rest your body upon hers just yet. Her chest is heaving. Her eyes have darkened with lust but there is still a lingering look of fear that you know is mirrored in your own eyes.
"Are you sure?" You question quietly.
"Do you love me?" She questions in kind.
"Of course Karm, more than anything. You know that." You brush her hair from her face gently, smiling at the thin layer of sweat that is coating her skin.
"Then I'm sure" She says and you allow yourself to lay your weight on top of her body. You kiss her slowly, it's a languid kiss, and you're taking you time to remember each and every inch of her mouth, as you slip your hand between your bodies. You feel a faintly slick heat when you reach her destinations and she bites her lip in what you hope is anticipation. You swallow thickly as you run your roll her clit between your forefinger and thumb experimentally. The gasping sound she makes is enough to tell you you're doing something right. It's also enough to push you to run your fingers through her folds with equal hesitation, but she bucks her hips into your hand and you release a shaky breath at the sight of her eyes clamped shut.
She's captivating, you allow yourself to think briefly as you softly nip at her swollen lips. She smiles against your lips. You trail them along the lines of her jaw, pressing open mouth kisses along her neck as you nip and suck at any and all skin your gain access to. She moans when you suck upon her pulse point. It's breathy, and husky, and you didn't know she could get her voice that low but you think that you wouldn't mind hearing it again and again for as long as you live.
You settle your fingers at her opening as you catch her gaze.
"Ready?" She nods frantically. You push two digits in slowly, trembling at the sight of her eyes fluttering shut, and the feel of her walls quivering against your hand. You pause as she takes calming breaths. A single nod is what makes you move them in and out at an agonizingly slow pace.
Her back arches from the bed when you push them in farther, not stopping until your knuckles brush her skin. You curl your fingers before you pull them back out and you've forgotten to think about your fear because you've never seen anything more gorgeous than Karma like this. The faint droplets that run down her body coerce you into running your tongue along her salty skin. The shallow breaths she takes tempt you into pumping harder. The trembling of her body charms you into replacing your fingers with your tongue.
She falls off the edge minutes later in a series of incoherent mumbles, and chains of absurd profanities. You pepper kisses up her body, placing a final one on her lips because you collapse beside her.
"I just n-need a mo-moment" She grasps desperately at your hand and you can't help but chuckle at how helpless she looks. Her hair is sprawled across the pillow. A small drop of blood sits upon her lips where her teeth have perforated the flesh. If you're honest with yourself, the smile on your face is more of a smug grin because you did that. It was your name that tripped off of her tongue. It was you that left her with nothing but a trace of oxygen and burning loins.
Hell yeah, you're proud!
"You read the article" She says next when she gains some semblance of composure. Your eyes widen as you fling your head in her direction. You can see that she's trying her best not to laugh. You scoff incredulously.
"W-what article?" You ask defiantly.
"The one my mom sent us. That thing you did with your tongue was move number five" You cock an eyebrow at this.
"You read it too?" She half nods, half shakes her head. She must sense your confusion at the action because she continues only a moment later.
"Not so much read as my mother decided she should lecture me upon it at breakfast. She made breast pancakes complete with fruit nipples and everything" You chuckle as she rolls her eyes. You realise she is too when you pull her body to yours lifting the sheets over your bodies. You press a kiss to the crown of her head when she rests it in the crook of your neck, a small yawn dancing along your skin. You feel the next thing she says more than you hear it because it vibrates on your bare skin and yet you still laugh as a blush breaks out.
"I'm gonna number nine you so hard in the morning" Her smile lingers on your body. You fall asleep with a similar grin on your face.
Waking up isn't quite as nice as falling asleep. Not because you're tired, or because you're arm has fallen asleep under Karma's weight. Waking up is treacherous because the dip in the mattress makes you instinctively pull your girlfriend closer. It's when she presses a kiss to the underside of your jaw that you realise it isn't her weight that has caused the change. You freeze. She looks up to question your rigid posture the exact moment you dare to open your eyes. You both lock eyes with just what caused the dip at the exact same time, almost identical yelps tearing from your throats.
It's her mother.
"Hey girls!" She says cheerfully, and you want to smile but it's nothing more than a grimace because you're half naked, with her fully naked daughter latching onto you and her thigh is dangerously high in a manner that makes you gulp when she shifts it even slightly.
"I thought we talked about this. The whole walking in unannounced" Karma mutters sternly but you can see the awkward glint in her eyes. Her mother thrusts her hands out in front of her, two steaming mugs clutched in her hands.
"I brought tea" She supplies as she places them on the bedside table.
"Because that makes this alright" Something seems to click with Karma because she sits up straight, pulling the cover with her as to not expose her chest. Not that you think her mother would even question it, she's… odd like that. "How did you know to bring two? You were out when Amy came over?" You panic then. How did she know? Oh God. There was no possible way this would turn out well.
"Oh well, you two were quite loud. Number five was a solid choice Amy" You want to throw up. Suddenly you wonder how you're even breathing in this close proximity. You swallow the urge when she raises her hand; you wonder what on earth she is doing until she presents her fist towards you. You stare at it blankly. She wants a fist pump? A fist pump because you number fived her daughter, and she heard it?
She takes your silence and startled stare for something entirely different from what it is.
"Is this not how the kids do it these days?" She asks and you shake your head forcefully before tentatively tapping your fist against hers. She grins as she stands and begins to back out of the room.
"We're going out for a walk if you two crazy kids have any plans" The over the top wink she send your way makes you cringe and you hide your face in your hands the moment she leaves.
"Kill me now" You mumble just loud enough to be coherent and Karma giggles before her fingers are running along your stomach in a tender caress that makes you shiver.
"I would" She husks in the dangerously low tone you can't forget. "But I kind of need my hands if I want to nine you until you scream my name" She finishes and your breath catches.
You're left with two mugs of ice tea and a necessity for a new list of moves by the time you finish.