Ginny stood in the doorway of the house, waiting for her friends to wake up. Her red hair was tucked behind her ears and her blue and white striped sweater was slightly large for her, though nothing compared to Hermione, who looked as though she had ran under a shower of baby powder, jumped off a cliff, came back from the dead, and baby sat the devil (you would too if you lived with Malfoy!) a phrase which here means- wait, this isn't a Baudelaire's story. This is a Harry Potter fan fiction.

In case you're wondering, our story takes place the year after Ginny graduated from Hogwarts. Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Ron, Draco, and Harry are all living together in an 8 roomed house that they bought together. Don't ask why, they just did. Draco tagged along because he had befriended Ron and Harry. Ron was dating the lovely Luna Lovegood. Oh, look, I made an alliteration. Lovely Lovegood! Okay, back to the story now.

It was obvious to everyone but Hermione that Harry fancied her, which was odd since she was the smart one. Yes, a miracle, but it happened.

She saw her heartthrob running down the stairs. He looks so fit when he runs down the stairs…yes, very stupid, but oh…he was closely followed by the other boys.

"Hi, Gin."

"Hey, sis."

"Morning, Ginny." The boys said as they passed Ginny. It was 9:00 in the morning, so it was odd to why they were coming down before Hermione and Luna, who usually wake up first. Ginny went to investigate…and found Luna and Hermione playing CLUE!

Just kidding. They were doing the Macarena!

Kidding! They were singing! No, not kidding. They were singing the song 'If you're not the one' by Daniel Bedingfield.

"If you're not the one
then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one
then why does my hand fit yours this way?

They sang that bit sounding like a dying cat.. Ginny snorted, and two bewildered girls turned around.

"Whoa! You should start a band together. Really. Yeah, I'm serious. No, I'm not." Ginny said. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Nice to see you too, Gin." She said. Luna looked dreamily out the window. She made a habit out of that. One time she saw someone get shot, and you know what she said?

"I saw someone get shot." How out of the blue! How abnormal! How-

Hermione and Luna went downstairs and sat next to the boys at the table. Here was the order:

Side one is Harry and Hermione. On the other side were Luna and Ron. Ginny sat on one end and Draco sat on anther. No one really knows WHY, but it happens. Anyways, it was the same thing.

Everyone eating oatmeal

Harry staring at Hermione with longing

Hermione completely ignoring both Harry and Draco.

Luna and Ron feeding each other

Ginny staring pointedly at her future boyfriend (Draco Malfoy).

At this point, you must understand the ships in this story; otherwise you would be incredibly slow when it comes to solving ridiculously easy puzzles. Hermione got up in the middle of breakfast.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She said matter-of-factly. Suddenly the boys regained conscious, which apparently they lost somewhere between Ron and Luna feeding each other and now.

"I'll save you!" came a voice from above the house. Hermione looked up.

"Who are you?"

"Actually, I don't know." The voice disappeared, and everything went back to normal. Hermione shrugged, going up the stairs. The boys closely followed.

Hermione walked into the bathroom, well aware that the boys were outside making sure that she wasn't going to make herself throw up. She grinned, locking the door. She made fake gagging noises, sniggering slightly. It was funny to see (or rather, HEAR) their reactions.

"I knew it! Hermione, stop it, you'll kill yourself." Harry's voice came through the door. Hermione giggled, and then resumed gagging noises. "Hermes!" Still no stopping, Harry came to a conclusion.

"That's it!" the door suddenly blew down as Harry heroically kicked it down. Harry beamed. Hermione glared.

"You just knocked down the door."

I wonder if she fancies me. Of course she does! Who DOESN'T like me? I'm hot! I'm cool! I'm LOVABLE! I think she has a crush on me! Yeah, that's why she's always laughing! Harry thought as Hermione glared daggers at him.

The prat. He thinks so highly of himself. It disgusts me. I need to read up on boys who disgust people that are hot…did I just think that? Hermione thought to herself. She shook her head. Breakfast isn't agreeing with me. Wait, did I even eat breakfast? No. I need to read up about breakfast not agreeing with me when they didn't eat breakfast.

All the while, Draco had been looking in the mirror, admiring himself.

Ginny stared at Draco with awe. He was so cute, so sweet, so comforting, (in Ginny's point of view) and perfect for her.

I need to make a plan. A way for him to like me. Maybe he should look at me, and then I smile. No, I need to take this SLOW.

"Draco? Will you date me?" Ginny blurted out. So much for slow. Draco stared at her, and then smirked.

Harry paced around the room. He was going to tell Hermione how he felt. He needed to. He saw Hermione walk into the room with a book that said: Breakfast not agreeing with you when you didn't even eat breakfast! Harry walked over to her, sweating.

"Hermione?"

"Hmmm?"

"There's…something I need to tell you."

"What?"

"I…err…I…love…I STOLE YOUR BABY PICTURES!" he blurted out at the last minute. Hermione glared at him.

"You what?" she growled between her teeth. Harry gulped. He had a feeling he wasn't going to come out of this one thanks to his good looks.

Later that afternoon…

Hermione marched quite angrily outside, making trumpet noises. She stopped when she spotted Draco and Ginny on the porch, snogging passionately.

"Eww." Hermione said quite childishly. She ran back in the house, singing the first song that came to mind so she could block out the sounds that Ginny and Draco were making.

"Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man, the muffin man?" Ron came down from the stairs, staring oddly at Hermione. Shrugging, he walked the rest of the way down and started to walk with her.

"Hermes, what are you doing?"

"Thinking of a way to get back at Harry." She replied flatly.

"Oh. What did he do?"

"He stole my baby pictures." She growled. Ron gasped.

"He didn't!" Hermione nodded, and Ron fainted. She stared down at his body, thinking of what to do.

"HARRY, YOU MADE RON FAINT!" Hermione cried at the top of her lungs. She heard trampling, and saw Harry run to the kitchen. He came out with a pitcher of water.

"I'll save him!" yelled a heroic voice atop the house. Harry looked to the ceiling.

"You again?"

"Who is 'you'?" the voice replied, fading away. Harry shrugged, and dumped the water on Ron before running away from Hermione. Ron leaped up onto his feet.

"Elvis Presley had joined us!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Hermione cocked her head.

"Isn't he that dashingly handsome singer who died of constipation or drugs or something like that?" Hermione asked. Ron glared.

"He is NOT dashingly handsome, at least not to me!"

"Dear, I should hope not." Hermione gasped. Rolling her eyes, she ran up the stairs in pursuit of Harry. Ron growled and stomped out of the house, yelling at Draco to leave his sister alone.

"Ron, can't you see I'm a bit busy here? I'm snogging Draco, so can you leave?" Ginny moaned. Draco caught her in another snog, and Ron turned beat red. Suddenly, a pop of an apparition came and a figure of fright came up the stairs holding a Playboy magazine.

"Hello, lady and gentleman, and not-so-gentleman. I am…"

Ron gasped at the figure standing in front of him.

"You're…you're…"his eyes wandered down to the magazine in Lord Voldemort's hands. "Hey, is that the new issue?" Ron asked, chirping. Ginny sighed. Rolling her eyes, she screamed out in a flat but loud tone.

"Harry, Voldemort is here and he plans to kill us all." Draco turned to her, smiling. Picking her up, he pulled her towards the house while capturing her in another snog, walking past a speeding Harry, who had his wand up and was ready to kill.

"Don't you dare- oh, hey, I didn't know they made that issue yet!" Harry's eyes fell on the magazine in Voldemort's hands. He pondered. Lose the whole plot of this story; Lose the magazine…I'll ditch the plot! Harry thought as he walked towards Voldemort, eagerly reading over his shoulder. Soon after Hermione came out, running towards the door.

"Oh, Merlin, it's- Ron! Harry! Why are you reading Playboy with your worst enemy!" she cried in frustration, Ron and Harry ignoring her. Voldemort looked up and stuck his tongue out before reading again. Immature git, Hermione thought to herself. You'd think that an evil wizard who killed people would be much higher than sticking his tongue out and reading Playboy.

Several minutes later (because we couldn't make this by hours)

Hermione, Ginny, and Luna sat in the library upstairs, planning together.

"Well, we could always submit our own pictures to Playboy.." Ginny pondered. Hermione looked disgusted.

"Gin, I don't know about you, but I certainly don't think making them like that magazine even MORE would help us to get them AWAY from it!" Hermione suddenly looked struck. "Or, maybe…hmm…"

"We could always set a batch of Crumpled horned snorkacks on them," Luna suggested. Hermione and Ginny rolled their eyes.

"There is no such thing, Luna dearest. And anyways, Ron does anything you tell him to, so why are you here?" Ginny asked. Luna shrugged her shoulders, staring out the window. Hermione turned to Ginny.

"I didn't even know Harry knew what Playboy was!" she cried, clearly upset. Ginny snorted at this.

"Hermione, Harry's a boy. He was BORN reading Playboy!" she giggled. Hermione sighed. "And anyways, he has a stack of them under his bed."

"What!" Hermione nearly deafened the two girls in the room, as well as Crookshanks, Hedwig, the neighbors, the people walking their dogs outside, the person driving…

"What; you mean you didn't know? But you vacuumed under his bed yesterday!" Ginny paused. "Didn't you?"

"Erm, well…see, Dobby came, and, yeah… I mean, come on, he was wanting to anyways, and, well, I was…erm..." Hermione stammered. Ginny stared.

"What happened to spew!"

"S.P.E.W.!" Hermione shrieked at her.

"That's a lot, coming from someone who goes against her own organization! You know, there are some people staring outside the window…"

"Thanks, Gin. You really help a lot." Hermione replied coldly. Ginny smiled.

"Don't mention it, Hermes." Hermione was seething. Images of Ginny burning appeared in her head, closely followed by images of Harry burning, images of Draco burning, images of Ron burning, images of the paperboy burning (he could at least TRY not to aim at her every time she went to get the paper!) images of Voldemort burning, images of Playboy magazines burning…

Wait! That's it!

I need more milk.

"Gin, we need to go shopping. There's no milk." Hermione stated. Luna's gaze turned to her.

"Hermione, you don't drink milk. It has calories."

"Oh, shove it. Everything has calories. And it's not doing anything for me, is it?" Luna shrugged, before gazing towards the boys again, who were eagerly exchanging magazines, grinning like idiots. Luna turned towards a few boys making a fire on the corner. It looked like they were burning paper.

"Some boys are burning their homework on the corner." Luna stated as if it was a daily procedure. Hermione looked with interest at what Luna was pointing at, and gasped.

"They cannot burn their homework like that!" Hermione seethed. A thought came to her.

"But we can burn Playboy magazines…"