The darkening sky did nothing but dwindle their vision, the atmosphere was hushed except for the rapid gallops of the horse and the wagon's creaking.
No one dared to speak, no comic-relieving jokes, no simple conversations, it was all futile, their eyes were dead as they soon saw Wall Rose ahead, the green flares stopped a while ago, the titans became slow and clumsy.
For the first time, they dreaded going back within the safety of the walls, for warmth and comfort was not there anymore, nothing but words that hit them like knives, all those profanities, can't they see they have emotions too? Can't they see that they also regretted not saving their friends? They're also fragile!
Why can't they see?!
Hanji fired a green flare and the gate groaned to life, slowly lifting like it had all the burdens of the world. They rushed in, the crowd was already murmuring, but no one can blame them, besides the men they lost today was palpable, myriad of corpse stacked together in the wagon.
Some horses walked without owners, some sat in the wagon clutching their wounds, tears streaming down their faces.
One of the front vanguard, Ackerman, landed on the cemented ground, ignoring the roaring crowds that screamed such words that an average soldier would sink in to their knees and talk back to the crowd.
They all stopped in their tracks, the crowd stopped roaring, as Mikasa walked ahead of her team, ahead of the crowd that stared atrociously at her, carrying something within her toned arms.
She heard the deafening cheers later on as she departed away.
"Front vanguard, Ackerman you'll be with the elite squad they could use your prowess. Ackerman, don't make any blunder, I'm trusting you to follow their orders, understood?" Rivaille stared at her noticing the determination in the girl's eyes across him.
"Yes, sir, I'll make sure there won't be any." It was her fault that Rivaille was injured, if he wasn't, there wouldn't be so many casualties when capturing the female titan, he could've end it swiftly, she hesitated to kill Reiner and Bertholdt. She almost lost Eren, she was impulsive causing her ribs to be fractured.
She promised to be level-headed, to avoid casualties, even when her brother is involved, no.
(But, she was an intuitive person, can she really fulfill it? Rivaille already knew the answer.)
"Dismissed." Footsteps echoed around the room as they exited, leaving Rivaille alone.
"Forward! From this moment on, dedicate your heart!" Erwin screamed at the top of his lungs, for added effect his immaculate horse stood on its hind legs, before sprinting out towards enemy territory, support teams hanged at the wall, some barely missing the sneaky hands of the gruesome titans.
They rode out towards Wall Maria, to unlock the secrets hidden inside the basement, waiting to be undiscovered.
"Armin!" Jean screamed as he kicked Armin way out of the titan's opened jaw before closing on him.
"Jean!" Later on the lanky titan fell, Jean rose barely missing his own death. He looked at his hands, wondering how broken his mother would be if they returned with his half body. Tears dropped on the ground as he looked down on the blood of an unknown soldier, before flying off.
"I gotta give you thanks, Yeager." He put aside his pride and decided to thank his rival.
"J-jean! I'm so sorry!" Armin was on his side clutching his forearms hard as tears was palpable on his face.
"Dude, Armin it's okay just be careful."
"Oi! Sasha and I are almost running out of gas here! Let's go to the supply wagon! They're about to head here so let's scram!" Connie shouted above an evaporating titan before joining with his squad.
"Yeah, let's go..." They said before flying off.
"Look out!"
"I-it's useless! We're too far!"
Mikasa zipped ahead of them and slashed the titan's finger setting her teammate free, adjusting her hooks, she grabbed her teammate before landing gracefully at her horse.
"Mikasa!"
"Thank God we have you here!"
"E-erwin, Oi! We should retreat! Are you crazy! Why are we even continuing more ahead, Oi! Answer you bastard!"
Erwin dodged the incoming hands effortlessly while the man who blabbered a while ago was grabbed and his scream for help went unanswered as other soldiers desperately dodged the towering hands.
Red flares fired around all areas, he continued straight, ahead, ready to abandon his conscience, the thoughts of reaching the basement always return to him, his curiosity insatiable.
"Hurry up brats! We got to catch up!" Rivaille barked at his squad, Jean was the last one to refill before hopping on his horse and they headed out, leaving the supply wagon and heading to their respective formation.
He ignored the conversation his squad were having, focusing to reach the middle vanguard. The back was catching up to them, they need to go back to their position fast.
"I'm worried about the front."
"Or you meant Mikasa?"
"We're all worried for her."
Rivaille looked back and saw their worried face, he too could not help but worry abiut his excellent comrade.
"Oi, don't have doubts about her, she's not the top one for nothing so stop worrying about her and put your faith on her." He said, ending the conversation as they sprinted out on the open field.
It was chaos, everything was, when they arrived near Wall Maria, myriad of titans ran towards them, soldiers gave their lives fighting alongside the rogue titan of Eren.
Rivaille swiftly sliced the titan, before looking ahead of him, Ackerman sliced effortlessly, Jean speeding to the nape of a titan, Connie and Sasha did teamwork as they brought down a titan.
The front and middle mingled for the front was outnumbered, the middle caught up and offered help, even though help has arrived the titans didn't seem to dwindle.
"Mikasa!"
He looked up and did not welcome the fear that clouded his judgment.
"Mikasaaa!"
He zipped, praying to whoever God existing that she is safe, please let her be safe.
'It's so warm, so wet, where am I?" Mikasa opened her eyes and dreaded at what she was in, she was inside a titan's stomach, floating in this pool of blood, the surface in front of her bubbled before seeing this knowingly beheaded part.
She screamed, swimming away in instinct, she grabbed her swords which was thankfully still intact, the triggers didn't respond.
'I need to get out!' her mind screamed, her body reacted slicing the skin of the titan, fear was clawing through her mind, her slashed getting more callous, then, she felt it, the slit opened, spurting her out and the pool of blood.
She stared at the now crimson grass, it seemed quiet for the meantime, but then she heard the chaos, all the screams all the pleas she heard it all.
Large fingers snaked on her waist and she felt herself being lifted up, and that was when she knew she was being dragged again a titan, she looked up and saw the beaming turquoise eyes staring back at her.
For once, in the middle of a battle, she felt safe, and closed her eyes, letting exhaustion take over her body, all she remembered was being dragged to his large locks of his hair then an ear-splitting roar.
'I need to wake up...'
'I need to fight...'
'I need to protect them...'
'Where am I, I need to wake up...'
She slowly fluttered her eyes open, and she saw the colorful sky, it was windy, she sat up abruptly, a breeze came, swaying her black tresses.
They did it?
They really claimed their territory?
She heard her name and she turned, she was met with pairs of arms hugging her tightly.
"Welcome back to the living! Here I got some crackers!" Sasha handed it out to her and she ate it scrupulously, savoring the taste even though it tasted dull.
"Mikasa, you nearly gave me a heart attack you know?" She turned her head towards the voice of her brother, his eyebrows were furrowed in what seemed like regret and concern.
She just hugged him tightly reassuring him that she did not give up, he sighed and returned the hug, before kissing her forehead, and before she could stutter a reply, she felt lips smash on her cheek and saw Armin smiling brightly at her, and she was swarmed again with hugs.
"Aside from this...we don't want to tell you but, Hanji said it'll be the best for us to tell you. Heichou, when he heard your name being shouted...' Jean trailed of trying to meet his squads eyes, but they were all staring at the cemented ground.
"I mean we all saw it, get you swallowed by a titan, he zipped there so fast, he was almost like a blur, but then we were occupied by another batch of titans..."
She had a feeling this is not good, her mind was screaming, she turned her head frantically trying to find the midget.
"When we looked back, you already slashed the titan from the inside, the titan was already dead courtesy of Heichou, Eren killed those titans that was swarming around, and grabbed you..." Jean can't meet the protruding gaze of Mikasa, desperate for an answer where their leader is.
"No..no where is he?!" She screamed frantically, lunging at Jean, and vehemently grabbed his shoulders, her nails digging in the sore flesh.
"Mikasa, please calm down..." Armin tried but Mikasa was persistent, bombarding Jean the question over and over again.
"Mikasa, cease it! It's all your fault that Heichou is missing!" They turned their heads to see Kyle, one of the elite squad.
"If you should've been more careful then the Strongest won't be missing, this is all your fault!" He shouted, injured soldiers started to watch and murmurs started.
"Please! All of you cease your damn mouth! We're all stressed here!" Screamed Hanji who was tending to the limbless shoulder of the unconscious Erwin, a tourniquet wrapped expertly around it.
The loss of their soldiers was more dominant than the alive, only a few soldiers were free of missing limbs or fractured bones.
Mikasa sunk to the ground, blocking out the concerned cries of Jean. It happened again. She acted so careless again, and now, Rivaille, the most trusted soldier, the one who can grant freedom, is missing because of her.
Maybe even now he's dead...
No! no! Please he's not dead! He's alive!
But the cries of the soldiers around her proved him wrong, her dwindling faith burned down to ashes.
She felt numb.
'Why... why did he save me... he shouldn't saved me...I'm replaceable, he isn't... '
"We suffered a great loss, but due to this, we are only one step away at reclaiming our land, we, will now commence finishing the titan, we will make them extinct, right now, so offer up your damn lives for the future of the next generation!" Screamed Hanji.
"You crazy?!" A soldier screamed.
"I want to see my family!" Then dozens of protest were heard.
"And what? Make these cadavers die in vain? Are we showing them that their sacrifice weren't that worth it?! Think about their family!"
"Think about our family when WE die!" One screamed.
"Then we will make sure your sacrifice weren't in vain!" Hanji screamed, she stood up, showing that she is in command, in authority, many sulked in defeat.
"Re-supply! Squad One lure the titans we will finish this once and for all!"
Mikasa continued to walk in the isolated village for all the one occupying them went to welcome them, it was silent, fabric hanging on the houses fluttered around her as she continued to carry something, and headed for their headquarters.
She remembered the victory, every second of it.
"Goo Erennnn!" The rogue titan crystallized itself on the hole of Shiganshina and cheers erupted from every soldiers throat, Shiganshina was a mess of steaming corpse of titans, soldiers now much fewer.
Finally they were free.
Tears streamed down on every face, all of them can't believe it, after years of loss and suffering, they were finally here, victory was theirs!
"Mikasa?"
Mikasa turned around and saw Sasha nearing her, hands behind her back, she smiled a little before speaking.
"I saw this after Eren grabbed you, and I decided not to show anyone first but here."
Sasha handed out a filthy cravat, Mikasa took it with slightly shaking hands, not wanting to be weak.
This is what all she has.. only a cravat...this is only her memory of him? This is so ridiculous! This is preposterous, but she accepted it nonetheless.
The victory didn't feel like victory. They cherished the victory for a while but no one knew what the reason was, but they all felt hollow, empty.
Their friends were no longer with them...
Mikasa opened the door to her room, to exhausted to change and walked clumsily towards her bed face first.
Then the tears finally dampened the pillow she was now desperately clutching for life, a sob broke through out, then whimpers.
Why?!
Why him...WHY NOT HER?!
Her future would be nothing without him.
She finally found who understood her, gave her the affection she craves from her oblivious brother, someone finally held her within their arms and she felt safe, she felt like she was the luckiest girl in the world.
Yet, he was torn away from her life.
She felt so lost, like the time when her parents died, but it kind of felt worse.
So she cried, she mourned, she screamed at how unfair it was.
The hallways echoed her desperate screams, but no one heard, because no one was there for her.
"Matte, matte, watashi o nokoshite wa ikenai..."
Hello, this is not a one shot this will be a story so please if you did like this story please review! It'll really boost up my confidence to write more, I am sorry for any wrong grammars or misspelled words.
Did you enjoy the story?
Where is Rivaille?
Is he coming back?
Find out in the next chapter!
(Bonus, did you know what she meant on the last sentence? Please comment down below, dont forget to follow or favorite my story if you were intrigued!)
Did you cry?
Did you felt what I felt writing this story?
Thanks for reading!