Disclaimer: If you believe that I own Bleach, then I would like to inform you of a very nice bridge I'm selling.
A/N: This is not a Unohana/Yoruichi fic, though it will contain some yuri and yuri undertones. You've been warned.
Summary: Short snippets involving Yoruichi Shihoin and Retsu Unohana. They may vary from a couple of sentences to a couple of paragraphs. Not all of the drabbles will have both women in them. Enjoy
1. Meetings
The first time they met Yoruichi quite literally dropped in and knocked Retsu senseless. It was all a matter of bad timing really. It was bad timing on Unohana's part because usually only ran on Monday's and never came that close to the noble Shihoin clan's palace. But, for some odd reason that would elude her until her death, there she was, jogging on a Friday and so close to the noble family's land that she could see the outer wall, and thus where the problem occurred. You see it was a well known fact umong the members of the Shihoin clan that Fridays where Yoruichi's contemplate-life-days and that, no matter how many times her mother told her not to because she could fall and break her neck, Yoruichi only contemplated life on the highest lookout tower of the outer wall. But because Retsu was not part of the Shihoin clan she did not know any of this, that was just plain bad luck.
To be fair, Retsu wasn't the only one with bad timing. You see it had rained the night before and since it was only 7:30 a.m. the roof of the tower was very slick. Now there is one fact that anyone with half a brain should realize; shunpo and slick anything don't mix. Unfortunately for both our protagonists, it seemed as though Yoruichi had forgotten that. So early Friday morning at around 7:30 a.m. Retsu Unohana reached the outer wall of the Palace's western side, and took a small break just to the right of the highest tower. At about the same time Yoruichi Shihoin landed on one very slick roof at shunpo velocity, lost her footing and, you guessed it, fell off the roof incidentally landing right on top of Retsu's head. Years later, when Retsu had mellowed out and Yoruichi had stopped being as formal as she was in her youth, people would question how the two powerful captains could be such close friends when they were seemingly opposites. Yoruichi would grin and say it was thanks to bad timing, and Retsu would say that having the Shihoin fall on her skull had knocked her common sense loose.
2. Healing
When Yoruichi swore, rather dramatically, that she would find a way to get Retsu to reveal her incredible healing powers, the dark haired girl had just blown it off as Yoruichi being Yoruichi. After all how could she have known that Yoruichi would go to such...extreme measures? How could anyone guess that the young Shihoin, in a fit of inspiration that only a great deal of alcohol produce, would quite literally stab herself on herself with her own zanpakuto. Though to the future captain's credit, the plan did work, to an extent. Retsu wasforced to heal Yoruichi's leg, in front of two lower 4th division members, or watch her friend bleed to death, which did accomplish the original goal. Of course as soon as the noble was out of danger Unohana, in a fit of worry induced rage, beat the living crap out of Yoruichi to the point that said heiress had to be admitted to the 4th division for treatment. At least Unohana said later that it was out of anger induced by worry for her friend's stupid actions, but the two lower officers would have sworn that it had something to do with the Shihoin's off key singing of "I'm A Little Tea Pot." We may never know.
3. Touches
The first time Yoruichi held Soi Fong while 'teaching' her a new fighting technique, her only thought had been, Oh, hell, I'm screwed. She hadn't touched the girl for a week, not even delivering her normal teasing head rubs. In fact, the next time that the two 2nd division officers had, had any contact was when, in a surprising and uncharacteristic move, Soi had ran up behind the Shihoin princess and tackled the older woman to the ground. The younger girl had of course worn her customary blush the entire time, the pink going to a deep red when she realized that she was straddling her mistress from behind, but her voice lacked its usual stutter when the lieutenant had leaned forward and mumbled into her captain's ear.
"You know Yoruichi-sama we wouldn't be in this position if you had been acting like yourself," she paused when Yoruichi threw her a confused look and decided to answer the unasked question. "You were starting to creep me out," she gave a smirk oddly reminiscent of Yoruichi's own, "you should really relax." The irony was not lost on the older of the two. From then on the Shihoin heiress made sure to tease her little bee on every occasion that presented itself and decided to try to ignore the fluttering in her chest that accompanied any physical contact with her precious Bee.
4. Teacher
Most people didn't know it, but Yoruichi and Retsu were the same age. They had even had the same teacher. And what a teacher she had been. Long black hair and eyes like the frozen midnight sky, there was no one that they feared or loved more. They, along with Kukaku and Kisuke, would have lain the universe at her feet if they had thought for a moment that it would make her happy. She had been one of the few people to ever believe in the young heiress and the healing prodigy, a surrogate mother to Kisuke, and possibly the only person Kukaku had ever fallen in love with. So they were all naturally in awe of the then Captain-Commander, of course neither Yoruichi or Retsu would ever admit to even liking the older woman. One must keep appearances after all.
When the woman had left, vanished without a trace really, they had quite simply broken. Not one of them had remained the same. Retsu had thrown herself into her duties, banishing her firey side that there beloved sensei had always found so amusing. Kisuke had become the mysterious geius that never revealed his true thoughts to anyone. Yoruichi had forsaken all sence of formality and undeserved respect, had developed an outer mask of happy-go-luckiness that hid her true thoughts and feelings, had swore that she would never allow anyone that close again. But it had been Kukaku that had changed the most. She changed everything. Her appearance, once well kept had gone to the ruff and rugged look that she would sport to varying degrees for the next few hundred years. Her speech had changed from the powerful, temperamental and cooly polite voice of a noble to the devil-may-care attitude that most now know her for. And to the dismay of her elder brother, Ganju hadn't been born at the time, and the older members of her prestigious clan, she further disgraced herself by becoming an alcoholic. After all why leave anything that, that traitor had liked?
Oddly enough it was Yoruichi, who could hold a grudge like you wouldn't believe, that finally ended up forgiving her former teacher. Of course that was only after she was forced to do almost the exact same thing. Which, as every one knows, nearly destroyed her little bee. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes and all that. It didn't matter anyway; the woman was gone. And Yoruichi always played it off as lack of sleep or exaustion or even a hallucination whenever her cat-like eyes caught sight of a black flash buying her that split second that she needed to turn the tide battle, causing the enemy to slip up in the middle of an otherwise deadly attack, or those dark blue eyes just watching over her from high above. After all the woman was gone. Right?
5. Jacket
It had been a good two months since the execution of Rukia Kuchiki and yet one question still troubled Soi Fong. And no it wasn't the old 'Why didn't you take me with you?' thing. It was something much simpler, though no less irritating. The only problem was that Soi couldn't seem to find a way to broach the subject without seeming off her rocker. So one hot Tuesday while Yoruichi was visiting Soi in the soul society, the younger of the two simply decided to ask.
"Yoruichi-sama," she waited until her senpai glanced up from her meal, "how many of those jackets do you have?" The Shihoin set her bowl down with a dull thud and developed quite the shifty look. Glancing around quickly as if to asure herself that they weren't being watched, not that anyone was dumb enough to listen in on Soi Fong's private conversations, Yoruichi hissed out a low, "Why do you ask?"
This is why shinigami should not do drugs. Ever. Giving her personal goddess a look that plainly said Yoruichi was acting like a fool, the younger of the two answered in a slightly bored tone, "Because you were wearing one like it when I met you over a hundred years ago and--" "I take really good care of my stuff alright? This is the same jacket that I had back then." Soi Fong shot her a withering glare and continued from where she was so rudely interrupted. "As I was saying, you also ripped one of them to shreds when we battled with shunko." She shot her elder a triumphant smirk. "So it can't be the same one you've been wearing for a hundred years."
Yoruichi watched the other girl for a moment. Sending her protege a dark glare, she finally responded in the same soft hiss she had used earlier. "It was the first birthday present that Kisuke ever gave me, and it would upset him if he found out that the original was destroyed two days after he gave it to me. And would you keep it down?!" The last part was directed at her former bodyguard's unabashed laughter. The younger of the two finally regained her ability to talk and said in a stage whisper, "You mean to tell me that you have been recreating the same jacket for however many centuries just so Urahara won't think you didn't like his present?" At her senpai's annoyed nod, Soi broke out in another fit of uncontrollable laughter. She vaguely heard Yoruichi mutter something about 'Laugh it up, laugh it up.' It was only later that a certain fact dawned on her, She never did say how many of those things she has.
...
A/N 2: Okay, there's the first five drabbles. The next five will be in the next chapter. I didn't really like number 3 all that much and I didn't like the ending of number five. Please leave feed back, I love hearing your thoughts. And I don't particularly care one way or the other about flames. Anyway Ja ne!