A/N: Submission for The Houses Competition (representing Slytherin as Tifa/Eos)
Story name: Pranking Pastimes
Category: Drabble
Rating: K+/T (to be safe)
Prompt: "That was the lamest thing you've ever said."
Word count (minus A/N): 896 (via wordcounterdotnet)
Disclaimer: If you know it, I don't own it. Except the prank. I came up with that.
Peter Pettigrew snuck across the hallway, an impish grin on his face. A sandy haired boy followed, looking pleased with himself. Laughter sounded off at the other end, as two dark-haired boys rounded the corner. They were closely tailed by a rather flushed redheaded girl, whose green eyes seemed to angrily spark as she sent a hex in their direction. "You insolent, arrogant-" she screeched at them as she stomped towards them. "James Potter, I hope you get hit by a bludger Saturday, you foul, loathsome, insect!"
The dark haired boys turned. The shorter haired of the pair seemed to slump in defeat, while the longer haired of the two laughed, nudging him. "Your bird is squawking again, James," he said, his grey eyes promising mischief. James shoved the other boy, before calling out to the other two boys.
"Remus! Get Sirius before he ruins my chances with the love of my life!" Remus, snorted as he and Peter stepped from the alcove. The two fair-haired boys and Sirius rolled their eyes at James', who had begun waxing poetic about the green colour of her eyes.
The redhead came close in time to hear him taking about marriage and stared at him in disgust. "Never going to happen, Potter!" she hissed at him. James ruffled his already messy locks. "One day, you'll eat those words, Lily Evans," he said to her assuredly, only to pout as she huffed and stomped away. Sirius snickered, but Remus stepped in before James could shove him again.
"We should get out of here before a professor…" he said, trailing off as he saw their head of house coming down the corridor, looking annoyed. "Sirius, what did you do?" Remus whispered, knowing she hadn't found the latest prank yet. Sirius turned wide eyes to Remus, but failed to look innocent, as McGonagall began to lecture him.
"Sirius Black, I think we need to have another discussion. How many times..." the Transfiguration professor began, a stern look on her face. "It is not acceptable to send me Howlers at breakfast asking me to Hogsmeade!" The others kept from laughing, though Remus let out an undignified snort. Even Minerva's lips twitched as Sirius spoke. "But you're the only one for me! Any other pales in comparison to your wit and grace," he said, grinning charmingly at her.
The professor let out a breath, exasperated with the grey eyed teen in front of her. "You should be thankful, Mr. Black, that I value your contributions on the quidditch field, and am not giving you detention for this morning. However, twenty points from Gryffindor, five for each of the four Howlers you sent." She gave him a long suffering look, before she spoke again, cutting him off before he could begin. "And no, I won't marry you."
At this, his friends lost it, howling with laughter. She went back down the hallway and the boys eventually calmed. Remus spoke first.
"Lucky she hasn't found the prank, or you'd be off the team for sure." Peter nodded at this, his watery eyes wider than usual. "I d-d-don't think she'd doubt for a m-m-minute who it w-was," he stammered out, before flushing and gazing adoringly at the other three. "Transfiguring things into water b-balloons, a p-p-potion that causes your hair and skin to ch-change color and d-doesn't come off f-for hours, a-and a t-time release levitation ch-charm that is t-t-triggered by the b-bells? Th-that screams James, Sirius and Remus," he finished, looking at the ground.
Remus patted Peter's head, as James and Sirius threw their arms over the smallest boy's shoulders. James grinned at Peter before he spoke. "Right you are Peter! But where would we be without your suggestions? Your devious mind is what gave us the idea for the time release." Peter looked up at them, turning more pink as he was obviously pleased by the inclusion.
Remus sighed, and stared at them pointedly. "But Peter has a point, which is why we need to vacate the premises. Your quidditch careers are on the line. And let's not forget what's this week...I can't afford detention," he said, shifting back and forth as he tried to convince them to move. The first bell tolled, signaling noon. Sirius stared at Remus, his mouth gaping open in shock and disbelief. "My dear Moon Moon, I think that was the lamest thing you've ever said. Have you taken ill? A marauder, afraid of detention. James!" Sirius turned and clutched at James' robe, slumping against him dramatically. "Moon Moon has gone native! Hold me!"
James snorted, and Remus gave Sirius a shove, muttering to not call him Moon Moon. Peter watched amusedly, as the bells finally stopped. The dark haired duo gave identical grins. "Remus, we simply need to be able to enjoy the fruits of our labors," James said, before adding, "I also charmed a few to target Snivellius specifically. I can't miss-"
Sirius stopped James, covering his mouth. The four of them were quiet, grinning madly as they began to hear shrieks, followed by the irate voice of their professor.
"Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew!" Her sharp tones seemed to scream detention.
Remus gave the others a pointed I told you so stare, before they turned and ran towards a tapestry. Going behind it, there was only the sound of laughter for a moment, before it too was gone.