A/N: It's easy to write Ami, because her bitterness is cold, and very distinct in the fact that she thinks in concise manners. Minako is distinct too, but I don't find it to be cold. It's more haphazard, and not exactly as bitter as it is lost...and maybe a little lonely. Minako's not exactly the type to be as hotheaded as Rei, or as aloof as Ami, so writing her is hard for me. She has this wavering sense of needing to accept things, even when she find it hard, or feels like she can't.

I mean, why else would she fake her own death in the anime, and try to rebuild her life from the ground up?

Or in the live action, when she knows what's going to happen to her, but she just smiles and keeps on going anyway. Even when everyone else can't. Even when all she wants to do is break down into a fit, it turns out to be Rei that does it, not Minako. Anyway, Minako is a strong character no matter what universe she's in, and I hope I've done it justice.

I do not own Sailor Moon.

Distant Moons II: Here and Now

Romance, is something everyone dreams about, at least that's what I think.

Some of us want it a little more desperately than others, but I think that's important. The need to be needed. The want to be wanted. The hopeful feeling you get when you look at your phone for hours on end, waiting for a call you know should be coming. That moment you feel insecure, because you're asked out on a date. The times you fight, the times you make up. A first kiss, a second, and a third. People sometimes forget how important those things are. I blame the media. A pure romance, and how breathtaking it really is, well, it gets lost on them.

And they call me a ditz...at least I put my all into everything that I do.

So little do they know. People just don't understand what it means to truly commit. It isn't easy. To want to devote yourself to something wholeheartedly, even when you're hurt by that devotion. Even when the pain is so unbearable, it rips you apart from the inside, and you can hardly breath. They don't understand the laughter, and the fleeting moments that you can't speak. You can't tell them, that if you did, you would have ruined the moment.

I'd be willing to bet anything, that those types of people have no idea what love is, because frankly, they just don't care.

Those of the type of people that I feel sorry for, because they just don't understand...anyway, today would be the kind of day that you'd see in a movie. you know the one. A sappy romantic film. What if that movie starred a lonely young woman, unsure of what to do? In this movie, I guess you could say, magics are involved...and those magics, they make it hard for her to live the life she wants to have. The thing is though, most girls would think it's pretty neat, but this girl, she doesn't want her powers. She's thankful she has them, and she likes helping others...but...then again, for this girl, there are some days that she just wants to be understood.

This isn't a movie though, and, no matter what I do, I'll always be a Sailor Senshi.

The rain falls all over the ground, and it really looks yucky. It has this depressing vibe to it, and, even my cat wouldn't dare look out the window on a day like today. The damp weather is one thing, but the rain is also cold. What good is rain if you have no one by your side? What point is there, if you can run in the puddles...although, my cat would beg me not to think about it like that. He hates water. I'll bet that white ball of fluff is pacing back and forth on my bed, Luna isn't here right now, so, she's keeping Artemis company.

He's just as edgy about this as I am, but then again, we all are. This is going to be hard, and I've faced down some pretty tough things. My life hasn't been easy, but I suppose no one has that kind of life. Everyone holds some type of hardship. The truth is, I'm no stranger to love. I know about the heartbreak that it brings, but this, it's old, and I liked it better that way.

A memory I could remember, when I wanted, and then I could put it away.

I thought that I would be okay with this, and that eventually, everything would work out. I know that sooner or later, it will. It's complicated, but, the best thing I can say, is that the future and the past like to become a knot. Since it likes to be difficult like that, one day, things will just happen. Love will bloom. We don't have any other choice, but still, I can't help but feel cheated.

Like the universe has to punish me, or something.

I know that Ami and the others feel the same way. I don't know why, but something just isn't settling easy within me. It just seems wrong, somehow. I wanted to just live my life without worrying about the future. I try to take every moment as it comes, and I think, life as a Sailor Senshi is better that way.

I mean, who really wants to be worried about something that will happen years down the line? So many years in fact, that you can't even count them on your hands, who would want that? Who wants to toss and turn every night, because something goes go as planned? Who wants to feel like they've got to keep everything the way it should be, no matter the cost? Who wants to know every horrible that that could happen? Who wants to see every amazing day, and have it ruined for them, before it even got here? Who wants to be lonely, because they know they'll get hurt?

No one does, that's who.

That's pretty sad if you ask me. We can't all be Setsuna, and I'm thankful for that, because she's forced into it. I actually feel sorry for her...but maybe, right about now...I should feel sorry for myself. Is is bad that I can't? That even if I want to just toss that box out the window, I know I would feel even worse, if I saw Usagi cry? Is it bad that I feel like saying no to this, would be letting her down?

It's unsettling, really. I mean, I thought I'd be okay with this, but, maybe I'm not ready.

"It'll be alright." Usagi says to me as we stand together in the bedroom she shares with Mamoru. There's a box here, and inside of it, there's a lonely little rock...and inside of that rock, well...um, it's kind of hard to explain. "You'll see." She tells me. "Everything will work out."

"Usagi, I don't think I can be so easy going about this." My palms feel sweaty, and I know my usually flighty demeanor has dropped completely. I'm sorry that I can't take this in stride.

"He'll be a better man." Usagi tells me. "Kunzite isn't the same as he was before."

"I know that." It still bothers me though. Really, it's like, no matter what I do, it'll never be the same. "Can you give me some time alone with him? I need to make a few things clear before I take him home. I don't want everyone thinking I'm talking to a pet rock, or something." I can see it in Usagi's eyes. She wants me to be happy, and, for whatever reason, she thinks this is the way to do it. I dunno though. I always try to find the good in things, but I just don't see any good in this.

She walks out of the room, and I open the nearly empty box. The only one left is Kunzite, and this entire week just screams of how much we've been dreading it. "I guess this is it." I tell the stone. I know there's a man inside of it, someplace. I feel like for some reason, there's just a lot of things I wish I could have said. Things I should have, but, I just can't now. I don't know, it's just...it's not the right time. "Kunzite, you're coming home with me today, you know." I murmur, trying to force myself to feel something other than dread.

"If you detest the idea so much, simply leave me here." He's a little headstrong. "I don't mind keeping our royalty company." Not to mention, a little bit haughty. "It would be better than being unwanted." He's kinda got a thing for guys too...well, not kinda...he's like me in some ways. Gender doesn't play a factor in who attracts him. In fact, I think he did a couple of things with Zoisite...but I did some things with Rei before all of this happened, so, it's okay...I guess. "It's bad enough everyone else went reluctantly, but our jobs don't permit us that luxury."

I know what he's trying to say. "We can't oppose this." I tell him. "It wouldn't be fair to do that to Usagi." I understand his words, and I agree, this is a bad idea, but even so...I can't tell my princess anything that might upset her. It hurts me to even want to think like that. "We've known our jobs from day one."

"So if you know your mission, do not fail it." He told me, coolly. someone in the pit of my memory, i wonder if he's trying to flick his hair over his shoulder.

"I don't intend to." It's painful, and I just want to go back to Rei. I want to live my own life, and this...right now, it isn't my life...it's the life I was born into...but it isn't really mine. "I'm a Sailor Senshi, my job is to serve Usagi." This doesn't make me happy, but my joy isn't exactly a concern to the universe. "To make her happy."

One day, I know...I know from the bottom of my heart, I will truly grow to love Kunzite. I can feel that, and I know, that is my fate.

"Your happiness doesn't matter to your queen?" They call him the Arabian king. He's got that air of perfection to him. "She cares so little for you?" Princely, and he really is a beautiful man. "Sounds to me as if you don't know why you fight, or even the prosperity you search for." Good looks, strong, and yet, soft and gentle. I've seen it, and so, I know. "My king would never do me any harm. I don't know why you feel such a way towards your queen."

"I don't." I tell him, wishing he could understand. "I like Usagi, she's a sister to me, in so many ways." My heart hurts. Hearing his voice, it just hurts. "She only wants what's best." It isn't like a knife, it isn't dull, and it isn't an ache. I don't feel a tightness, and it's not a pang of longing. "I'm just, well, I guess I'm more free willed than she is...at least, sometimes." I know what those types of heartbreak feel like, and this, it's different. "Even so, I won't deny her wishes, because you and I both know it doesn't change anything." It just plain hurts, and I can't explain it. "Eventually, we will fall in love."

"A crock." He sighs at me. "Truly, you are a hopeless creature. Romance is not a fairytale, and love is little more than a mockery." He states. "I know that well enough by now."

"The pain will ebb, in time." I tell him, as I lift the stone from the home it once had. "Still, I can never be what Zoisite was for you...just as you can never be what Rei was for me." My fingers touch the smooth surface, and I know it. I know that on the inside, even if I can't hear it, Kunzite is weeping for his companion.

"We are pitiful creatures." He tells me faintly. "A love like ours, would only be to fill a void."

"I doubt that." I tell him softly. "I will never let go of my fondness for Rei, of what she and I shared on lonely nights. However, I will also embrace you, and it won't just be because I'm forced to." A smile falls from my lips, but I know I probably look bitter. "In another time, I know I'll want to be with each other. That you will long for me, and I for you."

"Hm." He's not committing to this, but, that's just how Kunzite is. "Interesting."

I'm not like most of the girls, and my memories are clear as day. I never told Rei, or anyone else, but I remember nights that I shared with Kunzite. Times when he was as cold as the stone he's trapped in. His eyes would gaze out of the window, as he stood tall, regarding the outside world around him. He always thought himself better than everyone else. In a lot of ways, it made people hate him. That was just the way he wanted to be viewed. He's a general, and, just like all of the others, he has his own way to command respect.

Jadeite was cruel. He beat everyone, lashing them with whips, or forcing them into fear.
Nephrite was powerful. His skills in combat were amazing, and awe inspiring.
Zoisite was smart. With his tactical and witty charm, people learned to love him.
Kunzite, well, he was the firm guidance of his people.

Everyone looked to Kunzite, and he had a large burden on his shoulders because of it. All of the generals, they carried their weight well...but he was known for his duties. They came first in everything that he did, and, it came to no surprise, that he was aloof because of it. Still, his smile was dashing, and his long, flowing hair, gave him an air of mystery. I remember well, that when Kunzite is angry, he's a very dangerous man, but, when he's happy, everything is at peace. I won't lie. I remember his kiss, and how his strong arms held me close.

He isn't like Rei, but that's okay too. Rei had her own way to show affection, and Kunzite, he has his.

"I'm going to take you home with me today." I tell him softly. "And it's because I want to. It isn't out of some weird obligation."

"Why would you want to do that?" He asks me, confused. "It would be pointless, at least, strategically."

"That's exactly why I'm doing it." I say to him. "Things have changed, we aren't in charge of entire planets, or even nations anymore." He's a man who accepts beauty, and wishes to give that type of thing to anyone. He's generous, but now, he has no fortune to give, and no magic to offer. "We don't have to worry about that kind of thing, Kunzite. We can just be ourselves, ya know?" The only thing he has left to give, is the soul trapped in that rock. "It'll be okay, to just live without worrying so much."

"If you insist." He said then, as if he's bored.

"I do." I tell him as I hold him to my chest. "I trust Usagi, and, I think she's right." He's that kind of man, a good man, a loyal one. He'll give everything, until there's nothing left. "So let's go home."

"Alright." And then, even when he's just an image of his former self, he'll let himself be carried away by the whims of others. "I'm at your mercy, so don't drop me." Kunzite wouldn't ever admit it, but he likes the types that are romantics. Hopelessly devoted, and yet, hopelessly torn. Inside, deep down, he's a lot like that, but you know what?

So am I, and that's okay.