Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
It was perfectly still in the room, unless you count my rapidly beating and aching heart. My boss, Koenma, just told the Rekai Tentei that Kurama and Hiei had finished their sentence. They could leave at any time. I'm sure Kurama will offer to stay and help out more, he rather enjoys everything about this job. But Hiei, he only has two reasons to stay, and I'm sure he'd gladly leave those two things behind for the chance to be free yet again. But then, maybe not…
I wake up lonely, is there a silence
In the bedroom and all around
"I want to return to the Makai." Oh Hiei…I knew he was going to say that. I can't believe I'd allowed a brief doubt to cross my mind. The only reason he ever came to me in the first place was because he was restless. "Very well Hiei. You will be granted a portal in thirty minutes." I watched Hiei close his eyes and then shake his head; "I want to leave in the morning." Koenma nodded once, I think he knows about the little affair between Hiei and myself. I'm not ashamed in any way that I love Hiei. I just wish he'd love me back.
Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away...
I can't bear to say good bye; it hurts just a little too much. So I turned and slipped out of the room quietly though I am sure no one noticed. I didn't go straight home; I don't want to go back to the room where I made love to a restless man. I don't want to face the pain at the moment. I went to the grocery store first, and bought a few gallons of ice cream, a few hundred chocolate bars, and all the whiskey and wine I could carry. The woman at the counter gave me a look full of pity when she saw the food. Every woman knows the comfort food styles. My pile of food clearly told her I was being dumped, so she leaned over the counter and handed me a slip of paper, "My sister runs this recovery center for girls who've been dumped, feel free to call her."
It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
I smiled weakly and nodded. I couldn't deny, or try to deny, that I was being dumped. What would be the point, I already knew it was about to happen. I left the store with all seven bags of junk food and alcohol. I got home quickly enough and had everything put away by the time Hiei showed up at my window. Instead of running over to him like I usually did, I walked over to the window coolly, and opened it. He stepped inside without a word, and I guess he looked a touch sorry, but nothing he could say would make me hold him, not now.
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out
"I'm leaving in the morning." He said casually, like I didn't already know, "So?" I knew I was being a little cold, but he's the one leaving me. "I need a place to stay for the night; a lover by my side." I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes, and I repeated my word, "So?" I didn't want him to stay now; I'd never be able to let go. "Stay with your sister." I said bitterly, but he didn't move. "She won't speak to me, she won't even let me inside the temple anymore."
Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
I bit my lip and clenched my fist, "Then go stay with Kurama or Yusuke or Kuwabara for all I care!" It took all my will power to stop my tears from falling, "If that's what you want." He said softly. My heart clenched as he left through the window. But I knew I did the right thing. I closed the window and locked it, before turning back to my kitchen and grabbing the first bottle of whiskey I saw. I don't want to feel anything right now.
But in and outside I turn to water
Like a teardrop in your palm
I don't know how long it's been since I picked up that first bottle, but now they're all empty and the sun is starting to come up in the sky again, funnily enough, I forgot why I was sad. I turned on the TV and put on some comedy show that I like. The phone rang shortly after and I answered it giggling, "Hello! Botan here!" I heard a small sigh on the other end of the phone, "So I take it you made up with Hiei then?" I dropped the phone when I heard the name. "N-no…I kicked him out last night!" I said miserably, and I heard a groan. "You what?! But he was supposed to ask you to go with him!" I picked the phone back up and bit my lip; "I wouldn't have gone with him. As far as I'm concerned whatever the hell it was we shared is gone." "Botan…why are you so stupid sometimes?" I heard a click and I knew that Kurama had just hung up on me.
And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away...
"Ah who needs him anyway, he always did side with Hiei." I said bitterly as I hung up the phone and grabbed my jacket, I needed more whiskey and wine. I left my apartment and walked two blocks to the liquor store. The great thing about being a spirit world employee, you're given unlimited Nigenkai money to get by. I bought them out of whiskey, rum, and wine and returned to my apartment in a foul mood. Two bottles of whiskey later I was smiling and I felt much better. I was cooking up some eggs in my kitchen when I heard someone at my window. I took a peak and growled when I saw that it was Hiei. Just what did he think he was doing here?
It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
I opened the window grudgingly and was caught by surprise when he locked his arms around me tightly. "Hiei what the hell are you do-" He cut me off, placing a kiss on my lips. He pulled back almost immediately, glaring at me angrily. "Why do you taste like alcohol?" He asked suspiciously. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me, "Because I drank some. What's it to you?" I replied bitterly. I want him to just leave, I bet he's only here to try and fool around before he leaves for the Makai anyway. "You never drank before." I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "I never had a reason to before."
It must have been love, but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows
He narrowed his eyes at me, I know I'm pissing him off, in fact I'm quite proud of myself for it. "And what reason could you possibly have baka onna?" I can't believe he's acting like he's doing nothing wrong, I screamed in frustration, "You! You're leaving! I love you and you're still going to leave!" I think it's safe to say I caught him by surprise that time. I always had a good handle on my anger before, I don't generally scream or yell or anything. "Well it's not my fault you don't satisfy me." He said simply, and everything went red.
It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
"Fuck you!" I threw everything I could reach at him, and he dodged for the front door, but I managed to hit him with a butter knife before he got into the hallway. "Stupid fucking violent women. Go to hell Botan!" He shouted at me as he stormed away; I'm sure that we woke up all my neighbors. I just hope I don't get evicted because of him. I slid down the wall I was leaning against and burst into tears. I need another drink I think. I crawled into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and drank until the hurting stopped.
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out
Song: Must have been love
Artist: Roxette
Spelling and grammar should be fairly good; I've gone over this songfic quite a few times already.