Summary: Sometimes it hurts to be hopeful...
Disclaimer: I dont own Final Fantasy Viii... though the thought does give me oh-so-fun dreams and such to enjoy.
A.N: Feeling angsty, and I wrote this fast enough not to need my personal comp (good thing cause its DOWN at the moment sniff)
Waiting
- Its snowing outside, a pleasant chill in place of the warmth I so badly crave.
You've been gone three weeks now.
Its painful, but I know your alive. Just another mistake like last time... right?
- I hear the noises of Quistis packing up her desk for the night. I was right, she makes an exellent headmistress.
You would never had let them kill you.
Of course not, you promised that honour was mine, asshole.
- She knocks and pokes her head in to say goodnight, her breif smile more tired then concerned for once. Exellent headmistress, but still such a mother hen.
Im waiting for you, you cocky bastard.
Just like you always teased I would.
- Its silent again, just the low whistle of the wind outside and the occasional rustle of paper as I read reports.
Three weeks ive been completely alone now.
Not even a battle between us to keep each other close. Alone... but waiting...
- I avoid my reflection as I pass the mirror to teh toliet. I know all i'll see is an overworked and emotionless Squall Leonhart... Guess that will never change.
You cannot be dead.
They were wrong last time, werent they. Said you were dead and you were 'parading' around with Edea.
- I pause at the window, my full bladder ignored for the moment. I was close enough for my breath to make clouds across the frosty surface. Outside looks pleasant in the moonlights glow.
Three weeks alone, asshole.
Its painful, so just hurry the hell up.
x.o.x.o
- Its early, the suns rays warming up my apparently to-pale skin. Its a nice warmth, but not the kind I need so badly.
Five weeks you've been gone for.
Five weeks with no word, no sighting and no calls. Where in Hynes name are you?
-Theres a tapping at the door. Quite and unsure, probably Rinoa. I let the knock fade out, I dont think I can leave the sunlight just yet.
I miss you so badly it hurts.
Waiting so long against a window, any window. You'll be back, but do you have to take so damn long?
- Rising for breakfast wasnt as hard as I thought it would be, the only painful part ironacal the lack of pain in my lower back.
No one but me can kill you.
Dont think ive forgotten asshole, dont you dare break your promise.
- The phone rings but the ID reads Laguna so I let it ring out. I can say I was asleep if he asks, that would likely cheer him up. A little break in my insomnia.
Five weeks is a long time without you.
Where the hell are you? Whats taking so long?
x.o.x.o
-Im speeding, but does it matter? I always do, always have, and no one seems to give a damn. Even with my horrid driving skills.
Just a letter damn it!
ANYTHING! Eight weeks... thats two months and every minute im going insane without you.
- Deling City still feels like a mission, especially when im here to see Laguna. Erg, can that guy really be my father?
No matter how I search your presence remains unseen.
Its not as though I would let them touch you, but the planets just to big for me to search without the SeeDs in my command.
- I hate hugs, but Laguna doesnt seem to get that. Kiros always shoots me a sympathetic look but Hyne, couldnt he talk to the guy or something?
I miss your embraces.
And your kisses, the ones always more lustful then sweet.
- Conversation isnt easy, especially because my fleeting sanity dims by the moment and my antisocial nature gives us little to talk about.
All I think about is you, but as always I refuse to tell anyone that.
If you come back, you can win and ill let you tell them all. So hurry up asshole, before I change my mind.
- Farwells are just as ackward. Laguna hugs me again and I dont know what to say. Kiros is a help, but he seems reluctant to interfere. We part ways but I cant excape before he says ' I love you'. I cant say it to anyone but you.
Eight weeks alone.
... I NEED you.
x.o.x.o
- It raining hard. The sky above is alive with flashes of lightning and blindingly heavy rain. I stand stock still, unbeleiving.
Ten weeks three days and forteen hours.
Amazing...
- "Asshole," I finally growl, racing forward.
Amazing...
Yeah, amazing that all that means nothing when...
- "Hyne above how I dreamt of you," you breath into my hair, voice almost breaking. Mine beats you to it and the hot, hard kiss full of need and desperation thats been building up on the last thread of my hope is kissed with my tears giving flavour and your still broken arm complete with a Deling City hospital band between us
... when I see you again Seifer...
Go comatose again bastard and I swear i'll make good on that promise and kill you myself.
x.o.x.o
Authors Note: I tried, but I just couldnt help giving it a happy ending. Im such a hopeless romantic.
Love,
Jaffa
xoxoxo