A/N: What's up my nizzles?! (I don't know, what IS up your nizzle? What IS a nizzle?! (Lol, inside joke)) I'm back with the third installment of the "Before He Cheats" trilogy!!! YAY TRILOGY!!! Read on Jimmy lovers, read on...
I don't own Jimmy Neutron… I do have a few neutrons in my atoms and stuff, but I don't think that really counts… Oh, and I don't own "Lithium" the element or the song by Evanescence. Or Apple (Pfft! I wish!). DAMN! My life really sucks!!!
Cynthia Aurora Vortex was alone. Two weeks of agony and remorse had plagued her, haunted her. She kept telling herself things like He deserved it, the two timing bastard and He shouldn't have cheated! If he wanted to keep his pride safe then he shouldn't have done what he did but they didn't help despite how many times Cynthia told herself.
Questions swarmed and engulfed her mind. Why? Why did he leave me? Why'd he choose Betty Quinlan over me? What does she have that I don't?
Cynthia didn't want to hear it from herself anymore. Self sympathy and questions were only half of what she wanted to hear. A song was so much more comforting than the voice inside Cynthia's head; her voice. The voice that drove James Isaac Neutron away.
The white iHome with a matching video iPod sat on Cynthia's dresser and the tiny remote that came with it was placed on Cynthia's nightstand. Cynthia picked up the remote and pressed the play button.
The opening bars of Outta Sync's song Hi Hi Hi began to chime out. Cynthia didn't want to hear the song. Too peppy. She pressed the "Next" button on her remote.
An old Grey Star song, "Wasting All This Time," began to rock. Cynthia didn't feel this and she pressed the button again.
Evanescence? Libby must have put this on here. She HAS been so depressed ever since she broke up with Sheen. I'm still wondering why she did it…
Sure enough, Evanescence was playing. It was a slow, sad song. Dark and devious. The singer's voice serenaded the teen as she listened to the gloomy lyrics.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
Cynthia wanted to forget him; to believe that he never existed. James didn't deserve Cynthia after his act of idiocy and Cynthia knew that. Too bad her heart wouldn't listen to her mind.
It was as though Cynthia's heart wanted to be in this endless pit of despair! Like a mother willowing over her lost son. As though this blackness was somehow paid in memory of the lost love; the lost relationship.
But Cynthia's mind knew better. Why wouldn't her heart listen to it though? Prayer after prayer to her Lord, God did nothing for her. Why wouldn't her heart stop aching? Why did every beat feel as though a tiny person was drumming on it, causing it to throb? Why? Why had God let her fall into the endless abyss?
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
Cynthia wanted James to come back. She wanted the old life she had. Cynthia just wanted everything to be as it was. She wanted to talk to James. Cynthia wanted to hear his voice serenade her ear.
The phone rang, pulling Cynthia out of the song; tears running down her face. Cynthia grabbed her remote and paused the song. She wiped the tears from her eyes and, with a deep, nasal breath, Cynthia pulled the contents of her nose back into her sinus cavities and picked up the phone, surprised that someone would call at five in the morning.
"H-hello?" Cynthia said into the phone. A choking sound resonated into Cynthia's ear.
"Cindy," whispered a smooth, deep voice. He sounded astonished, James did. Cynthia couldn't think of anything to say. Silent tear after silent tear lined her face. Cynthia wouldn't let James hear her cry, she couldn't.
"Why did you call me?" Cindy said, daring to let her voice escape her lips. It shook from the resistance to cry.
"Because… Because," James said, trying to think of an answer. Cynthia was now in silent sobs. Her heart felt as though it was breaking again. She couldn't stand this coldness, but she needed to defend herself. Cynthia needed to defend her heart.
"Don't call me anymore. I don't wanna talk to you," Cynthia urged herself to say at long last. Her brain and her heart had quarreled, but brain won. Cynthia still half-wondered why she had said this when her whole heart told her not to. But Cynthia had listened to her heart and look where it got her.
Cynthia let the phone snap shut and slide down her torso and onto her bed. She pulled up the remote again.
"But I love you," she croaked. Cynthia could have sworn she heard the same sound from across the street as well, but the ballad rang from her speakers.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Why wasn't she good enough? What did Betty Quinlan, the blonde slut, have that Cynthia didn't?
Since the day, that day, Cynthia hadn't felt as herself not only mentally, but physically too. Her spine would ache and her knees would creek. Cynthia had stayed home for the last two weeks due to a major head cold that she couldn't fight off. But, Cynthia knew, if she hadn't the cold she wouldn't have gone to school anyways.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Cynthia got to thinking. Thinking hard, trying to answer one question. Why am I still here? The gears and levers spun and flipped. Cynthia couldn't think logically anymore. She wasn't capable. But she was capable of developing an answer. And, without common sense to OK it, Cynthia took it.Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Cynthia got up off of her bed. She wiped the tears from her red-rimmed eyes and marched down the stairs. She wouldn't let him kill her soul this time like he had. Cynthia wasn't going to let him.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Cynthia shot open the front door and traipsed out. The morning air nipped at Cynthia's bare arms and legs, but it was dark. Cynthia liked it when the night never ended. She could hear an owl hoot and the wind rustle the trees. It was relaxing. Cynthia cherished the music, this music of the night. (A/N:I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!)
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.
Cynthia couldn't think of any other way to cure this heartache short of killing herself and she wasn't about to do that. Cynthia had tried to get her mind off of James by going out with someone else (turns out Nick isn't as dreamy as he makes himself out to be), Cynthia had tried to get mad at the teenaged genius, but forgiveness eventually sank in, and Cynthia had tried to get rid of James completely, however, solitude almost killed her.
Cynthia briskly darted across the street even though no one was out on this morning. She clonked onto the front walk-way, her sandals making a funny noise. Cynthia opened the front door quietly, unsurprised to find it unlocked, and slipped up the stairs.
Cynthia opened the door to the room. She saw the genius sloppily asleep on the bed. Or, at least, pretending to be asleep. Cynthia began to speak as she inched towards the bed and, eventually, sat down on a wooden chair next to it.
"Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall" Cynthia stopped talking. She stopped everything.
Always find my place among the ashes.
The boy looked pale. Cynthia outstretched a hand and grabbed James' hand. Cold. It refused to grip hers unlike what Cynthia had become accustomed to. She furrowed her brow and looked at the boy.
The breath in Cynthia's throat refused to escape in fear. A bloody razor blade sat on the nightstand next to a velvet box.
"Oh, no!"
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Cynthia ran around to the other side of the bed. Blood puddled amidst an array of dirty socks and T-shirts. Tears clouded Cynthia's vision. She couldn't think of what to do.
At long last, Cynthia grabbed one of the socks from the floor and began to wrap it around the wet, red wound. She had to get an ambulance there. James needed to go to the hospital, but Cynthia couldn't let go of James' wound because she needed to apply pressure to the bandage.
"G-Goddard," Cynthia croaked. Her voice rippled with tears. Mechanical whirring came to life as purple light filled one corner of James' bedroom. The robot dog came over to Cynthia and waited for instruction upon seeing his master.
"Goddard, get an ambulance here. We need to get James to a doctor. I don't care how you do it, just make it quick, please," Cynthia said even though she knew the dog would stop at nothing to get the medics to James promptly.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...Lithium ...stay in love with my sorrow.
Cynthia sat in the hospital's waiting room two hours later at seven AM. She had her head in her bloody hands; the blood of James Isaac Neutron stained her even now. A doctor in a light, white medical coat beckoned Cynthia to him. She stood and walked to the M. D. with Goddard clicking at her heels.
"Is he gonna live?" Cynthia asked. Her voice came out calm and clear for she hadn't cried in an hour. Cynthia had simply devoid herself of tears.
"He's…"
I'm gonna let it go.
A/N: I'll let yo decide whether James dies or not. OR I MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT, if I find another good song, write what happens next in the "Before He Cheats" series!!! Review if you love me/the story!!!
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