Thomas the Dank Engine
Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a friendly train named Thomas. Thomas was a large coal powered tank engine. His features included tall and very handsome, a sick paint job, and a face. His eyes were permanently opened with bulging exhaust pipes. He truly was the perfect bachelor.
He lived with his step-father, Sir Topham Hatt. Sir Topham Hatt worked in the local rice fields to support his young adopted son, Thomas.
Since Thomas was a teenager and a train, he was not allowed to go to high school, but Thomas was okay with this because he did not want to learn. Little did Thomas know what was in store for him later that day.
Suddenly, for no particular reason at all, Thomas, the tank engine we all know and love, grew human arms and legs.
"Eughhahhh!" Thomas screamed as the limbs were forming on his train body.
Sir Topham Hatt could hear Thomas screaming all the way from the rice fields. Sir Topham Hatt knew something was wrong because Thomas never screams because he taught Thomas to be a good boy. Sir Topham Hatt sprung into immediate action and sprinted towards the direction of his house.
Once he reached the house, he opened the door and found Thomas with arms and legs. Sir Topham Hatt had a look of excitement on his chubby little face.
"This is perfect!" exclaimed Sir Topham Hatt. "Now you can go to high school and live out your dream of being a human boy.
"But Dad!" interrupted Thomas. "I don't want to go to high school!"
"Too bad!" replied Sir Topham Hatt.
[The Next Day]
Thomas was sound asleep in his cozy bed until he was rudely interrupted by Sir Topham Hatt creepily staring at Thomas.
"Time for school Thomas." said Sir Topham Hatt with a quiet whisper.
"Dad, I still don't want to go." said Thomas with a partial yawn.
"And I still don't care." said Sir Topham Hatt. "Now, go get in the car."
Thomas gave Sir Topham Hatt an angry glare. "Fine."
So, Thomas hopped in the car with Sir Topham Hatt to go to his first day of high school.
Once the two reached the school building, Sir Topham Hatt gave Thomas his lunch bag and a grease stained note.
"Before you go Thomas." Sir Topham Hatt said. "I just wanted you to know that you look extra Dank today."
Thomas smiled then said, "Thanks Dad."
"Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if kids started calling you Thomas the Dank engine by the end of the day." said Sir Topham Hatt as a way to make Thomas feel better going about his day.
Sir Topham Hatt hugged Thomas and told him farewell.
This was it. Thomas finally was going to high school to fulfill his dreams of becoming a real boy.
Thomas walked to his first class, English. When he arrived, he noticed that no one else was a train. Everyone was just a normal human being. Thomas began to feel a tad anxious of what people would say to him, but to his surprise, no one cared. Everyone just thought he was a human.
The bell eventually rang and Thomas unfortunately could not find an open seat. The English teacher, Mr. Ferdinand, was not very happy to see Thomas not sitting in a chair.
Mr. Ferdinand turned his head a clean 360 degrees to show how angry he was. "Excuse me sir!"
"Y-yes?" Thomas replied.
"Why are you not sitting down?" asked Mr. Ferdinand.
"W-well you see th-there were no more available seats left for me to sit in." Thomas said nervously.
"Well then sit on the ground!" screamed Mr. Ferdinand.
"Yeah, sit on the ground nerd!" said one of the students of the back of the row, named Bill the bully.
Everyone began to laugh at Thomas except for one girl named Tracy who was in the third row to the right.
"Y-yes sir." said Thomas in defeat.
Thomas sat on the ground stupidly as the entire class watched him.
"Thank you." said Mr. Ferdinand.
Once Thomas finally sat down, Mr. Ferdinand began his lecture.
As Thomas was on the ground sulking, Tracy glanced every once and a while at Thomas thinking about how Thomas was kind of cute to her.
After a few more periods, Lunch began.
Thomas ordered his very first human meal at that lunch room, McDonald's.
Thomas looked around for a spot to sit, but sadly no one nearby would let him sit with them. Luckily, Tracy kindly offered a spot to sit next to her and her friends. Thomas started walking towards Tracy's table until someone tripped his nasty human leg which caused him to fall on the ground.
"Hey train boy, what's wrong? Did your conductor leave you stranded?" said Bill the bully.
Bill and his friends began to laugh.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice!" said Thomas in defense.
"Quit training around train boy, or I'll knock you off the rails!" replied Bill as a threat.
"What's going on here?" interrupted Mr. Ferdinand. "You know I don't like teens fighting!"
Mr. Ferdinand inhaled and exhaled loudly as everyone watched in horror.
"Don't make me resort to taxidermy!" said the crazed Mr. Ferdinand.
Mr. Ferdinand walked away without looking back.
Bill the bully waited for Mr. Ferdinand to leave then said, " We'll settle this after school, train boy!"
Bill and his friends stormed off while Tracy raced over to Thomas.
"Are you okay hot stuff- I mean uh Thomas?" asked Tracy.
"Yeah, I'm fine." answered Thomas. "Apparently, I have to fight Bill after school."
Tracy gasped then said, "Thomas, he'll kill you!"
"Don't worry Tracy, I'll train to fight him!" said Thomas to make an awful garbage joke.
Tracy then realized why Thomas had no friends except her.
Eventually, the school day came to an end. Thomas was nervous as well as Tracy.
Bill readied himself by cracking his knuckles an unhealthy amount of times while Thomas practiced trying to lick his elbow.
"Alright train boy, you ready to die?" asked Bill to Thomas.
"Dude, I'm a train." replied Thomas. "I'm just gonna hit you...with my body."
Apparently, Bill was too stupid to know what a train is and what it does so he ignored Thomas and prepared to fight.
Thomas started off by braking his legs and tucking them in his exhaust pipes.
Bill threw up on his brand new sneakers then asked, "Wh-what are you doing?"
"Getting ready to fight!" answered Thomas.
Once Thomas readied himself, the fight began. The fight lasted about five seconds because Thomas just ran over Bill three times. there was not a single bone in Bill's body that Thomas did not break.
Tracy was the only one who cheered for Thomas because everyone's bets were on Bill winning the fight.
"You did it hot stuff- I mean cutie-I mean uh Thomas!" Tracy shouted.
"I did, didn't I?" Thomas said with pride.
Tracy began to blush then kiss Thomas' forehead.
Thomas blushed then said, "All aboard the love train! Choo choo!"
Tracy smiled then said, "Thomas... you're the Dankest engine I've ever met...call me!"
Tracy handed Thomas her phone number and social security number to show her true feelings for him. After that, she walked into the shadows, never to be seen again.
That was it. That was the end of the first day of high school for Thomas and he loved every minute of it.
Sir Topham Hatt drove around the carpool to pick up Thomas. Thomas got in the car and had a big smile left on his face.
"What's with the smile, Thomas?" asked Sir Topham Hatt.
"Oh nothing." answered Thomas. "It's just been the Dankest day of my entire life."
"No." interrupted Sir Topham Hatt. "Now that you go to high school Thomas, Every day is a Dank day."
Thomas grinned again. "Huh, I guess you're right, Dad. I guess you're right."
Thomas and Sir Topham Hatt finished the day by driving off into the sunset to fulfill the needs of every predictable movie or television show.
THE END