Angelina Johnson's eyes snapped open. She rolled on her side and stared at the ringing alarm clock on her nightstand. An invisible hand clenched her stomach. She didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't want to face the day.
Not this particular day.
With a sigh, she forced herself to slide out from under the covers. Her bare feet hit the floor. She started to push herself up, but halted when she saw the calendar hanging from her wall. Underneath the date the image of a castle appeared, accompanied by the note "Hogwarts: 11 a.m."
Angelina's bottom lip quivered. Memories flooded her mind. Multi-colored hexes and curses flying through the stone corridors. Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters demanding their surrender. The dread that this would be her last night alive.
And the worst memory of all. The lanky redheaded young man, one of her best friends, lying dead on the floor of the Great Hall.
"Why?" she whispered, moisture forming in her eyes.
Angelina blinked it away, removed her bed clothes and put on a warm-up suit. She prayed a morning run would clear her head, settle her down.
It didn't. Neither did the shower afterward. Thoughts of the battle stuck in her mind. The noise, the fear, the horrible sight of all the bodies . . . of Fred.
She shook her head, her hands trembling as she put on her robes. It had been exactly one year since that night and she still couldn't accept the fact he was really gone.
Angelina glanced at her clock. 9:20. An hour and forty minutes before she had to be at Hogwarts. An hour and forty minutes of what? Sitting in her flat to think about the worst night of her life before going back to her old school so she could dwell on it even more?
She began to pace when a glint caught her eye. Angelina stopped and looked to her desk. A shiny disc sat near the corner. With a deep breath she reached for it.
Don't. It'll only depress you.
She ignored her mind's warning and picked it up. "Echoes of Eternity: The Forgotten Goddess" was inscribed on the surface. Angelina kept staring at the CD. It had been a gift from a Muggle-born Chaser from the Los Angeles Sunriders when her Holyhead Harpies played them on a tour of the U.S.
"You think the Weird Sisters are something," he had told her. "Wait till you hear this group."
Angelina did play it that night back in her hotel room, using the charm Dean Thomas had mastered for playing Muggle CDs and DVDs inside Hogwarts. It was very good. She liked the hard-driving guitar of Brandon Patton and the melodic voice of Francine Boucher.
Then she got to their fifth song, "Voices in a Dream." Fred dominated her thoughts every time she heard it.
She couldn't count the number of times she swore never to play it again. Why torture herself with memories of that night?
With a sigh, Angelina held up the CD and muttered the appropriate charm. A red transparent ball surrounded the disc. Four animated figures, the members of Echoes of Eternity, materialized on top of the CD. Flicking her wand, Angelina skipped to the appropriate track and closed her eyes.
"I hear you, calling me, just like the voices in a dream."
XXXXX
"Oi! Angelina!"
Fred's voice catapulted her back in time four years. She was sitting by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room chatting with Alicia Spinnet.
"What?"
"Want to come to the ball with me?"
Her wide eyes locked on Fred's smiling face. What sort of way was this to ask someone out? Shouting at her from across the Common Room with a couple dozen people around?
Then again, it was Fred. And she did need a date for the Yule Ball.
"All right, then."
XXXXX
Angelina shook her head, erasing the scene from her mind. She sat in silence and let the CD play on. When it ended, she started it up again. She sank back in her chair, eyes focused on the floating CD and the animated band members. She found herself tuning in and out of most of the songs, except "Voices in a Dream." She sighed, knowing it would be stuck in her head for the rest of the day.
When the CD ended, Angelina looked at the clock. Her stomach collapsed.
It was time to leave.
XXXXX
"Angelina!"
The familiar voice called out to her when she disapparated on the edge of Hogsmeade. She spun around and saw Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell and Lee Jordan waving to her near a small, dilapidated shack.
Angelina waved back and strode over to them. She hugged all three of them.
"So, um . . . you ready for this?" Lee asked.
Angelina held her breath, staring at the young man's puffy red eyes. No doubt he had a good cry before he arrived. So had Alicia and Katie judging by the dried steaks on their cheeks.
"As ready as I can be." She forced the words out through her tight throat. She clenched her teeth, fighting down the bubbling sensation to cry. She couldn't do that. Not in front of these three. Not when she had been the one they'd looked to for strength and leadership during their time together at Hogwarts.
"Come on," she ordered in her best Quidditch captain voice.
The four trekked through the woods until they reached the gates of Hogwarts. Hundreds of chairs had been set up by the lake, half of them already filled. Two rows of banners led people to the seats, each one showing a moving image of a person who died during the Battle of Hogwarts.
Where is he? Angelina brushed a strand of black hair from her eyes and scanned each banner. She spotted the images of various aurors and professors. Her heart trembled when she noticed little Colin Creevey's beaming face. She barely suppressed a sob, thinking of all the times she shooed him away because he was annoying her.
He was just trying to be friendly, you insensitive bitch.
A tear began to slide down her cheek. Angelina pretended to scratch under her eye, then looked behind her. Alicia, Katie and Lee appeared not to have noticed. She was glad. She hated crying in public.
Angelina turned back to the banners. Two down from Professor Lupin, she spotted him. Fred Weasley. Fred with that goofy smile on his face. The smile that greeted her every day for seven years at Hogwarts.
The smile etched into his face the moment he died.
A tremor racked her slender, athletic body. Moisture built up in her eyes, screaming for release. She strained her face, fighting back the tears, knowing it was futile.
She whirled around and marched toward the castle.
"Ang?" Katie called out. "Are you all right?"
Angelina didn't trust her voice enough to answer. She picked up her pace and ran up the steps. She hugged the wall as several people filed past her and outside. She barely noticed Professor Sprout walk by.
"Angelina, dear. Are you . . ."
She rushed by the Herbology teacher without a word.
The first sob hit her when she reached the Fat Lady's portrait. The tears flowed freely as she pressed her back against the wall. She cursed herself for crying, cursed Fred for leaving her, leaving all of them. Cursed herself for . . .
She turned to the Fat Lady's portrait, imagining the Gryffindor Common Room behind it. The song echoed in her mind, carrying her back through time.
"I can remember, daylight dancing in your eyes. And when my mind is still, the memories come alive."
XXXXX
Angelina noticed a twinkle in Fred's eyes she'd never seen before. Oh well, her eyes were probably twinkling as well. She had a blast at the Yule Ball.
A slight tingle went up her spine when Fred put a hand on the small of her back to guide her through the Fat Lady's portrait and into the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Was that great or what?" She spun in front of him.
"I'll go with 'or what.'" Fred grinned.
"You prat." Angelina giggled and slapped Fred playfully on the chest.
"I'm joking. Of course I had a great time."
Angelina's breathing stopped for a split second when Fred's hand intertwined with hers. She looked into his eyes again. The twinkle she'd seen in them before had vanished, replaced by another kind of brightness.
"Um, you know, Ang. You look . . . um, really beautiful tonight."
Her heart thumped harder. Another tingle went through her. She couldn't look away from those eyes, from that smile.
"You look . . . really nice, too."
She unconsciously stepped closer to him. Their bodies were mere inches apart. She continued gazing at him. Merlin's beard, he looked cute.
He'd always looked cute.
Fred's head moved closer to hers. She swallowed, not shying away.
Their lips met. The world around her vanished. Only Fred's presence remained. Her insides quivered when she felt his hands running up her back. Angelina wrapped her arms around his neck.
Fred drew his mouth back a few centimeters. Angelina drew a staggered breath. She wanted to kiss him again, and again and . . .
You're snogging Fred!
The scream from her brain paralyzed her.
This is Fred. Your best friend, Fred. The guy who's like a brother to you, Fred.
She slipped her arms off him. "Fred, what are we doing?"
"Snogging. I don't know about you, but I was rather enjoying it."
"Fred, be serious. We can't . . . I mean, we . . ."
Angelina couldn't get another word out of her mouth, not when she saw the look on his face. A look she'd never seen from him.
Distress.
Her stomach knotted up. She hurt him. One of her best friends in the world and she just ripped his heart to pieces.
"I'm sorry, Fred. I really did have a great time with you tonight. But . . . I'm sorry. Good-night."
She turned and strode toward the girls dormitory, not daring to look back at Fred.
XXXXX
Angelina returned to the present. She sniffled and wiped her eyes.
Why didn't I keep on with him? Why did I get so scared? What if we wound up together?
Then you'd be hurting even more today than you already are.
Angelina couldn't imagine her pain being worse than it already was.
Rubbing her tear-soaked face, she left behind the Fat Lady's portrait and wandered Hogwarts. She tried to quicken her pace when she reached the Great Hall, not wanting to linger around the place where she first saw Fred's body.
She got halfway past the entrance when she stopped. The song returned and carried her back to last year.
"Memories haunting me. They echo through eternity. I hear you calling me, just like the voices in a dream."
XXXXX
"Oi! Angelina! Where're you off to?"
"Astronomy Tower. Professor McGonagall wants us to secure the high ground."
"Well I feel sorry for any Death Eater that tries to get past you." Fred shot her one of his goofy smiles.
Angelina flashed him a quick grin.
The castle shook. She looked around, worry and fear mixing in her soul. Her eyes returned to Fred, who was still smiling. Trust him to smile when all hell was breaking loose.
"You be careful, Fred. Hear."
He gave her a dismissive wave. "Oh, I'll be fine. Hey! Once we're done womping on You-Know-Who and his clowns, how's about dinner?"
Angelina shook her head in confusion. "Excuse me?"
"Dinner. You know, the meal that comes after breakfast and lunch. There's a nice little restaurant near our shop. You, me, dinner, once we're wrapped up here."
"You mean . . . like a date?"
Fred laughed. "Yes, I mean 'like a date.'"
The castle shook again, but it barely registered with Angelina. She stared at Fred in amazement. With You-Know-Who and all his followers bearing down on them, he had actually asked her to dinner.
"Fine. Dinner it is." What else was she going to say?
"Great. Wear something nice. Merlin knows we'll have plenty to celebrate."
He smiled and hurried down the corridor.
"Talk to you later, Ang."
He never would.
XXXXX
"Redacto!"
A red bolt jumped from her wand. One of the benches in the Great Hall exploded into splinters. It did nothing to alleviate the pain. It wasn't Voldemort or one of his damn Death Eaters she just blew up. And what if it had been? It wouldn't bring back Fred.
She stomped down the corridor, not even trying to fight off the sobs.
"Why now?" Why did it take a year after his death for her to realize how much she loved Fred Weasley?
Her body quaked from another sob. She nearly lost her balance. Angelina reached out and clung to the wall. She crept along a few steps, crying uncontrollably.
Her eyes glimpsed something etched into one of the bricks on the wall. Through watery eyes she focused on it.
Her crying ceased. She continued to stare at the etching of two crudely drawn stick figures walking hand-in-hand. Underneath them was a pair of initials. FW and AJ.
Angelina let herself go back in time to the day after the Yule Ball.
XXXXX
Angelina swallowed when she saw Fred standing against the wall, smiling and nodding at her. He acted like nothing major happened last night. Maybe he realized they were just friends, no more. That their kiss last night had been . . .
She skidded to a halt when she saw the poorly drawn stick figures of her and Fred carved into the brick.
"Fred! What the hell?"
"I know. Sorry. I'm not the best artist in the world. I would have asked Dean Thomas to do it. He's much better at drawing, you know. But this was personal and -"
"Personal? The whole bloody school can see this!"
"No they can't. I put a charm on it. You and I are the only ones who can see this. Pretty romantic, isn't it?"
Angelina sucked on her bottom lips.
"Isn't it? Please say yes. I mean, what do guys know about romance anyway? Maybe I lucked out here."
Her shoulders sagged. "Fred . . . last night. Look, I'm not going to say I didn't enjoy that kiss, but . . . we had such a great time and maybe we got caught up in the moment."
Fred's usual smile slowly turned into a frown. Angelina felt her insides start to collapse.
"Fred, I'm sorry. Part of me wishes we could . . . It's just, you remember Alicia and Kenton Salisbury?"
"The Hufflepuff guy with the wild curly hair. Yeah."
"They were good friends since First Year. Really tight, remember. Then a couple years later they started dating. Then they broke up. Now they can't stand to be in the same room together. Fred, I don't want that happening to us."
"Who says it has to?"
The corners of Angelina's mouth twisted. She'd never heard Fred sound so serious. "I don't want to risk hating you. Please forgive me, Fred. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you."
Fred lowered his head and turned away.
Angelina felt tears well up. She grunted softly, forcing them back. She strode over to Fred and hugged him. A second later he hugged her back. Neither spoke for several seconds.
"You going to be okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure. I'll be fine."
She broke the hug, smiled and patted Fred on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, then."
She walked past him.
"Oi! Angelina!"
When she turned to face Fred, he wore a sly grin.
"One day, Angelina Johnson." He winked at her. "One day."
"When fear and darkness overcome, I have no need to hide. I only need to call your name, in my heart you are still alive."
XXXXX
"Oh Fred." Angelina reached out and touched the moving stick figures. She drew a deep breath and scanned both ends of the corridor.
"Let's make that one day today."
She pulled out her wand and checked again to make sure she was alone. Angelina wondered what the fine was for damaging school property. She didn't care. Whatever the cost, she'd gladly pay it.
A thin red beam shot out the tip of her wand. A minute later the brick containing the stick figure images of her and Fred came loose. She grunted and yanked it from the wall.
Angelina held the stone and gazed at the stick figures. For the first time today, a smile formed on her face.
"I love you, Fred."
She clutched the stone to her chest and closed her eyes. She lost herself in the song as it spirited her away to all her memories at Hogwarts with Fred Weasley.
"The silent space between my thoughts is where your soul resides . . . and when my heart is still, the memories come to life."
THE END –
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Echoes of Eternity is a Los Angeles-based female-fronted metal band I discovered last month. "The Forgotten Goddess" is their debut CD. Brandon Patton absolutely kicks ass on guitar. I highly recommend it.
