Where... have all... THE PENGUINS GONE?! The fuzzy-bellied birds that cannot flyyyyyyy!

Don't you ever break out in song at random moments? Try it. It's fun.

"PENGUIN!"

The Water Tribe siblings watched in mild confusion as Aang took off after the four-flippered bird. Katara ran after him as Sokka rounded up the future warriors. She finally caught up with the kid in the middle of an icy space that was just too quiet.

"There were more penguins here the last time I went sledding," Aang mumbled, looking around sadly. "This place used to be full of life. What happened?"

"I don't know either," Katara sighed. She had gone penguin-sledding with Sokka seven years ago. At that time, there were penguins as far as the eye could see. Now the only penguin in the area was the one that was watching Aang with increasing curiousity. Thoughts of the past filled her mind and--

"Hey! There's something in the distance!"

Aang leapt into the air and formed a sphere of wind. He came back to the ground and landed on it, then began traveling quickly toward some brown thing in the distance. He was fast... TOO FAST!

"Sorry," Aang said as Katara beat the snow off of her parka and out of her hair.

"No, it's fine," Katara said.

"Oh! Great! Because I got into big trouble the last time I accidentally turned someone into a snowman..."

"Yeah... What's that in your hand?"

"Oh, this?" Aang held up an official-looking scroll. "I found it pinned to that giant board over there. I think I know where the penguins are..."

"Yes...?"

Aang unrolled the scroll, cleared his throat, and read, "Every time you write an Avatar Sue, the Fire Lord kills a penguin. Please, think of the penguins."

An awkward silence fell. Finally, Katara asked, "What the heck is a Sue?"

"It says," Aang said, looking at a footnote on the scroll, "'A Mary Sue is an original character who appears in more than one paragraph per chapter and is anything more than a weak, humble, respectful, quiet, kinda ugly...'"

The sun began to set as Aang read through the list of adjectives...

"'...middle-aged, balding, excessively flatulent...'"

"Gassy or angry?" Katara asked.

"Probably gassy," said Sokka, who had hiked out to the middle of nowhere to join them a few hours ago.

"'...servant to the canon characters. Please make sure all your original characters have extremely brief appearances and are nothing more than weak, humble, quiet--'"

"Okay!" Katara cried. "You don't have to read the list again!"

"So all the penguins have disappeared because of some... Mary Sues?" Sokka asked. "Well, you know what that means! We have to stop the Mary Sues!"

"What are you talking about?" Aang gasped. "No one should be forced to serve another under threat. This term 'Mary Sue' is obviously being used to label anyone who thinks their life should be about more than serving someone. And look, the Fire Lord is the one who's killing penguins." He bowed his head, his eyes shut tight. "I should've stopped this. It's my duty as the Avatar..."

"You're the Avatar?" Sokka asked.

"I knew it!" Katara punched the air. "The Avatar did return!"

"I'm... not... wait." Aang scratched his head. "Oh, poop!"

"Well, I have a plan," Katara said. "Aang, you need to master all the elements. Then you can confront the Fire Lord! If he's holding the penguins hostage, you can save them. I know you can."

"Who said anything about mastering all the elements?" Aang turned to the board in the distance, then looked down at the scroll in his hands. "If the Fire Lord is slaughtering innocent penguins, then we need to get to him as soon as possible. He won't wait around for me to master the elements."

"Well, maybe if we send him a nice letter and a gift, the penguins will get a reprieve, and-- OUCH!" Sokka stepped away from his sister and rubbed his cheek. "Katara, did you have to do that?"

"Yes..."

"Come on!" Aang tucked the scroll into some random unknown pocket. "You get some supplies. I'll get Appa and we can--"

"What do you think you're doing?" came a harsh voice. "It's past your bedtime! All of you! Back to the village! NOW!"

"It's Gran Gran!" Sokka yelped. "RUN!"

To be continued...