Shock Therapy
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Nicola/Ollie
Rating:- M
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- "Next time you decide to laugh behind my back about the fact I don't want to get in a lift of have a bit of a meltdown about a situation we find ourselves in you'll think twice."
Author's Note:- In answer to Beth's "Phobias" challenge a bit of short fluffy irrational fear based fun! Rating for the usual level of TTOI language. Enjoy and reviews would be splendid!
"No! I'm sorry Nicola but you can fuck right off if you think I am going in there you are madder than I thought you were." Is she having a fucking laugh? I photo op in the botanical gardens that's what I told I was babysitting her through no one said anything about fucking butterflies.
"Ollie it's a butterfly house what the hell is your problem it's not man eating fucking spiders if they want to see the softer fucking fluffy side of me surrounded by cute little butterflies I'm not going to pass up the opportunity. If you think I'm going to let them say I'm so fucking up tight I can't even see the beauty in butterflies then you're the one who's mad now come on they're waiting." This can't be happening surely she of all fucking people should know that sometimes there are just things you can't do no matter how much you might want to or know that being scared is irrational how the hell do I get out of this one especially with her looking at me now like she's suddenly realised the secret to eternal life. "Oh my god you're scared!"
"I'm not scared fuck they're butterflies who the hell is scared of a butterfly?" Shit she doesn't believe me I suppose I should have known that given her long list of issues she could spot a phobia based excuse a mile off.
"You are! You're scared!" She's laughing, Nicola fucking Murray the queen of neurosis is laughing at me!
"So what if I am at least I can get in a fucking lift or face a group of people without falling apart!" Ok, ok that was fucking childish and instead of helping she's just laughing more.
"Fine stay out here, butterflies? Seriously?"
"Not just butterflies, caterpillars it's the whole alien like transformation shit I hate it. Look just go in smile and let them take your photo you don't need me for that do you?" Now that she's stopped laughing she actually looks sympathetic I may have pulled this off she's gone inside and now I can stop pretending my heart isn't racing and my palms aren't fucking flooded with sweat. I mean you've got to see where I'm fucking come from. It's not normal to start out as a green slimy fucking blob and turn into something with huge fuck off wings that can fly right into someone's face and scare the shit out of them and don't even get me fucking started about moths!
"OK look they're done we can head back but the manager wants a photo up at the main building something about a wall of fucking fame or something they have in the entrance." Shit she scared me there but at least it's done the press are all heading back to their cars looking less pissed than they normally do when they've been expecting one thing from her and got another.
"We better let Glen know we're going to be longer than we thought you know Malc will be on fucking egg shells waiting to hear how we fucked up this time."
"It's fine I called in already they know we're going to be late come on I am fucking starving let's get this over with and get back I need a sandwich and a large Lemon Zinger or I'm going to pass out." She called in? She never calls in, if she can get away with it she never risks being cornered by Malcolm and we both know he'd have been prowling the office waiting to hear everything went ok.
"Nicola if we haven't called in it'll be fucking worse when we get back."
"I called ask him." She's pointing at the gardens manager who is herding us toward the main building and he's nodding so I guess he did I still don't buy it though.
"It's just through here minister will you're assistant be accompanying you?" Hold the fucking phone assistant? I don't fucking think so but she's nodded and we're being ushered into a room and suddenly the door is closed and I can hear the bloke laughing on the other side as she smiles at me and …oh fuck….oh no….she can't be….
"Welcome to the caterpillar nursery Ollie look at them they are cute and harmless!" Fuck right off! We're in a room practically the size of our whole fucking office and everywhere I look there are fucking leaves with green dots on them and there's even some fucking butterflies. Shit!
"Nicola let me the fuck out of here what the hell are you doing it isn't going to make a good photo with you holding a fucking insect and me passing fucking out in the corner this isn't funny." If she takes one more fucking step toward me I won't be responsible for my actions this is way above and beyond the fucking call and…..
"Ok you can open the door now." What? Who the hell is she talking to? She's shaking hands with the manager now and I can't get out of the room fast enough. "Just let me know when you need the new greenhouse opened and I'm all over it."
"Greenhouse? What the fuck Nicola?" I swear I feel like my heart is going to fucking explode. And she's looking around to make sure we're alone before she pulls me by my tie down to her level bringing her lips close to my ear.
"I called in a favour they want me to be the guest to cut the ribbon when the new arid house opens and I thought maybe it wouldn't do to show you just what it's fucking like to be constantly confronted by things that terrify you. Call it shock therapy, isn't that what you are all always saying I need?" Shit why didn't I see this coming? "Next time you decide to laugh behind my back about the fact I don't want to get in a lift of have a bit of a meltdown about a situation we find ourselves in you'll think twice."
She's walking away toward the car with a distinct spring in her step that wasn't there before and I fucking know is completely because she's got one over on me and she knows there's fuck all I can do about it without telling the others what she's done and why. Oh she has got to pay for this and pay on a grand fucking scale, payback is a bitch and I will make sure that she pays for this big fucking time.