I always have to smile, I always have to talk
To hide all of my pain 'fore I choose to walk
Smiles hurt me, Laughs are empty
Still they don't see what's trying to tempt me
To walk away from loneliness, To leave aside the hate
Leaving everyone behind- no longer a deadweight
Judged by misguided thoughts, in their eyes I am worthless
Punishment, from them to me, never leaves me spotless
Perhaps all the things they say really mean something
And perhaps my bonds with them really mean nothing
When I stop talking, when I refuse my laugh
It's all over, no going back.
Smiles become neutral and laughs become tears
Though I won't let my sobs reach foreign ears.
In the dark I cry, in the silence I wait
For these feelings to pass me by. I have lost the debate.