Title: She is…

Chapter 1: The Butterflies

Author: Ellibells

Summary: Set in episode 2x25 of Gossip Girl following the Constance and St Jude's high school graduation when Chuck runs to Europe – the build up of his return to Blair.

"What am I doing? I love her. I love her… I love her"

A/N: So WAS my first ever story on FF…I hope its ok, would love you to review it after reading and constructive criticism would be good! …I have re-written parts as I thought it had potential and I love the story line, so tell me what you think :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl.

Chuck Bass was in Germany (his second stop in Europe), he had done what he does best, he had run away from his fears and the person he loved. He did the only thing he knew how; he drank his problems away at a bar where no one knew his name. Usually he would use whores to aid his self-destruction, but this time was very different. Chuck Bass had been loved by the only woman he had ever loved and endless night of pointless sex with whores wasn't going to fix the hole in his heart. For once, he didn't have all the answers; he was holding someone's heart on his sleeve and he was scared shitless, scared of love and scared of himself.

Chuck approached the hotel bar and slumped his body on the nearest bar stool.

"Scotch. Now", Chuck uttered in the direction of the bar tender.

The bar tender didn't need to be told twice and got on with the task of fixing the drink.

Chuck immediately took the glass of golden liquid from the man's hand and tossed the bar man a large bill with his other hand, the man just nodded in response and turned away.

As Chuck finished his last sip of the liquid, an unfamiliar voice started next to him.

"You look like you could use another drink, bad day?"

Chuck didn't respond to the German accent but just ignored it hoping that it would go away.

The next thing he knew, there was a tall, blonde haired lady perched on one of the stools near him. She was dressed in a knee-length satin dress with matching black accessories. She looked most likely in her late thirties, early forties Chuck thought as he glanced at her and then turned away to attend to the new drink that has been placed in front of him.

"Oh...worse than a bad day huh? What is he or she called?"

Chuck turned his body slightly to face the stranger sat two stools away from him; she gave him a small smile and took a sip of her drink.

Chuck just rolled his eyes and stared blankly into the glass in this hand.

"And why would I talk to you. You don't even know me", Chuck scoffed and continued to sip his drink.

"Exactly my point, I don't know you so I can't judge", with a shrug she raised both eyebrows and glances at Chuck slumped on the bar.

There was a short silence but then it was broken by Chuck.

"She…she loves me..." Chuck uttered quietly.

The lady tilted her head a little to look at Chuck again.

"And this is bad because?" she questioned him with a frown.

Chuck thought about the question for a while before deciding that talking to this stranger wouldn't harm him, it wasn't like he had anything better to do, it seemed apparent that tonight they were both drowning their sorrows so why do it alone.

Just as Chuck was about to speak, he was interrupted.

"Do you love her?" the woman had a look of curiosity as she looked at Chuck and then back to her drink.

Chuck slowly parted his lips and began to speak.

"I-I can't make her happy", he stuttered slightly, not making any eye contact; he looked ashamed as his attentions remained on the glass.

She looked confused by his answer and continued to challenge his response.

"Have you ever tried to make her happy?"

Chuck didn't respond so the woman continued her questions.

"How would you know if you've never tried?"

Chuck is slightly surprised at her response but thought about what had just been said. He had never truly given himself a chance to make her happy, that was true. He loved her and she loved him but he couldn't tell her because he thought he couldn't make he happy but the more he thought about it, the more he realised, he had never given their love a chance to work.

"What am I doing? I love her. I love her… I love her".

And that's when he felt Blair, fluttering, the butterflies where still there, they had never left; Chuck had just pushed them to the back of his mind. She had caught up with him; he couldn't escape her, the butterflies. She is the butterflies.

"Shit!" Chuck mumbled above a whisper as he started to straighten up his posture on his stool.

"What the hell am I doing? I love her …" Chuck trailed off.

The woman quickly looked up to sees Chuck sat up straight with a look of realisation on his face, she just grinned and shook her head.

"Well that took you long enough", she pronounced with a sarcastic smile on her face.

"Go sober up and then go get your girl", she said as she gave Chuck a genuine smile and nodded her head at him as if to say 'it was my pleasure'.

That's when Chuck stood up and from his previous position on the stool, neatened his suit and proceeded towards the elevator. Just before he entered the elevator, he turned his attention to the woman still sat at the bar. She felt his eyes on her and turned to face him with a smile.

Chuck gave the stranger a nod and mouthed 'thank you' before entering the elevator and proceeding to his suite.

He didn't know her name but she had just taken away his fear, Chuck just smirked and shook his head in disbelief as the elevator began to move.

xoxo

When the elevator arrived at hi suite, he stood in the doorway for a few moments before walking towards the master bedroom. He opened the bedrooms double doors and walked over to the king-sized bed and carefully sat down on the end of it.

Chuck dipped his head into his hands and took a deep breath while he got his thoughts together, the next thing he did was retrieve his phone from his suit pocket and dial the number he needed, he put the phone to his left ear and waited for someone to pick up. After three rings, someone on the other end picked up.

"Mr Bass, how can I help you this evening?" the voice on the other end asked politely.

"I need you to do a few things for me, they're urgent", Chuck stated in a serious tone.

"Go ahead"

"I need a flight to Paris tomorrow, as early as possible. I need a limo and I need some gifts arranging and picking up from Italy and Berlin before I return to New York", Chuck instructed to the man on the other end of the phone before hanging up.

…

A/N: This is a 4 chapter story so if you are liking it so far, carry on, drop a review for good times…if not, it makes me sad :( Thanks chums!