Legal Disclaimer: All of the characters and situation presented here are property of Toei Entertainment and not me. They'll all be given back sooner or later.
Title: Everything She Wants
Main Focus: Tenjoin Asuka
Timeline Placement: This takes place during episode 70, when Manjoume defeats Asuka and the Society of Light truly begins, and is my take on what happened in her mind during those moments between her defeat and when she got up again.
Notes: This was written for the gx 100 Livejournal claim of Tenjoin Asuka. It has been slightly edited and expanded from the original posting of it. I've also decided to post each of these separately, in the interests of accurate summaries and character listings.

What do you want the most in all the world? The question was simple and to the point. Asuka looked all around herself in an attempt to figure out where it was coming from. There was, oddly enough, really nothing there for her to see. Just white, white as far as the eye could see. There was something that she knew should have bothered her about that, but try as she might, she couldn't think of what it was. All she could remember was…nothing. Nothing but standing here in the white. No, it wasn't white. At least not white by itself. It was light, and that was what she was alone in. The light was white and the white was light. They were one and the same.

What is your heart's desire? Again that voice, and Asuka still had no clue of where it was coming from. But there was no way that she could deny answering it. The problem was, she didn't really know what the answer was anymore. Last year, the answer would have been simplicity itself: her brother returned and back to his old self, the annoying love-obsessed jerk who couldn't get it through his head that she was perfectly happy not having a boyfriend. But now, she honestly didn't know what she wanted. Having him back had ended the one missing piece of herself. She had thought she would be happy and she was. But…something was still not right in her life.

Whatever it may be, you can have it. Asuka turned all around in her continuing attempt just to find where the voice was coming from. It didn't exactly sound as if it were coming from outside of her. Oddly enough, the more she tried to find out where it was coming from and the more she looked around, the more she was beginning to think that it was as if the voice were inside of her. Inside of her mind. That wasn't possible, though. It couldn't be. Nothing could be inside someone else's mind.

Just like Manjoume could not defeat you when you knew his cards? There was a hint of amusement in that voice now, and Asuka found herself blushing furiously. How could she have lost like that? She'd been so busy playing his duel that she'd completely forgotten to play her own. That was why he'd done it, of course. He'd learned a lot from the last time that they'd dueled.

But that was different. That hadn't been something…well, maybe it had been something in her. Not a voice, but her own…she bit her lip as she realized what it had been.

Her own arrogance. Her own pride, to think that he had given her the game. She had underestimated him, and overestimated herself. A great deal of the tension within her drained out as she realized that. It wasn't as horrible as she had thought it might be to realize this about herself. It was oddly freeing to come face to face with it. "It was my own fault," she murmured to herself. "I wish…"

Yes? What did she wish? What did she want? She wanted…people to listen to her. To listen, not just nod their heads and go along with what she said because she happened to be a part of Obelisk Blue. The Queen of Obelisk Blue. She'd heard that enough times to be sick of it. Did it make a difference anymore? So she got good grades. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if that wasn't some kind of joke, honestly. What kind of a queen could she be, when she had just failed so very hard? When she'd thought too much of herself, to the point that she'd lost to Manjoume.

"I wish people would actually take me seriously as a duelist." Saying it crystallized something within her heart. It was why she had denied Manjoume, why she had denied everyone who had wanted to go out with her. She wasn't ready yet. She didn't want to just be someone's girlfriend. She wanted to be able to make a difference.

There was no way that she could do that unless people listened to her for her own merits, not because of the uniform that she wore. "I wish I wasn't an Obelisk Blue." Unfortunately, there wasn't anything else that she could be. Even though she slept in the Osiris Red dorm, she was still a Blue student. They would never let her forget that. She wouldn't let herself forget that. Maybe it would be different in the future, when they weren't in school and the world wasn't divided up into dorms, but right now, that was the problem and the pride that she had to deal with.

"This was an Obelisk Blue problem," she murmured the words, thinking of what she'd told Juudai. Would he have fallen for that trick of Manjoume's? Would Misawa? Would Shou? Would any of her friends? It was hard to say. It had been a problem for the Blue dorm. If that even existed anymore. She couldn't forget the bargain that she had made with Manjoume. Whatever this Society of Light was, she was going to be part of it now. She wasn't going to break her promise. She wondered what it would be like. Manjoume himself certainly seemed happy with it, whatever it was. Sure, he'd been acting kind of strange, but…well…it couldn't be that bad, could it?

All the same, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was going to be so much worse than she could imagine. Asuka was so uncertain of everything at the moment; it was as if the ground she stood on were suddenly turned into shifting sands, unable to support her.

A sudden movement beneath her feet sent her sprawling to her knees, and she stared in surprise as she realized, that was exactly what happened! She hadn't noticed what the floor, or whatever she'd been standing on before, had been made of, until it wasn't made of it anymore. A desert of fine white sand stretched all around her, in every direction, and she was in the center of a great whirlpool of sand, being sucked downward.

The Light can give you what you want. There was that voice, rising from her inner heart once more. It really wasn't a voice that she recognized, yet at the same time, she felt as if she should have, as if it should have been as familiar to her as her own reflection. The Light will always be there for you, Tenjoin Asuka, as long as you are there for the Light.

"What does that mean?" she gasped, trying to find some sort of support for her feet even as she tried to claw her way out of the whirlpool. Where was everyone else? What was this place? Questions that she felt she should have asked whirled around her mind, but virtually none of them settled in one place long enough for her to ask any of them. Listening to the Light, talking to it, that was what was occupying the part of her mind that wasn't busy trying to get out of this unexpected whirlpool.

Just as I said. Be loyal to the Light, and it will never desert you. She realized suddenly that the voice had no gender to it, despite the fact that it was coming from inside of her. It wasn't male, it wasn't female. It was simply…Light. The Light. The Great Light of Wisdom. Where the name came from, she had no idea, but it was wise, it had helped Manjoume, filtered through Saioh, and it wanted her. She could feel that quite strongly.

It should have been shocking. It should have been terrifying, that something like this, some nearly impersonal force of power was looking at her and wanting her. But it wasn't. It was comforting and soothing, and the more time that passed and the more light that grew all around her, the more so it became. Though, she wasn't entirely certain how the light could be stronger when it was already at a level that should have required sunglasses.

Her feet churned in the sand and she slipped suddenly, her head crashing backwards against the sliding sands all around her. Her feet kicked at the sand around them, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get enough purchase in order to be able to stand up. The sand wasn't so much piling in deeper around her as she was falling more and more into it.

There had to be some way to get out of here. Is this an Obelisk Blue problem too? Maybe it was…maybe she could get out on her own. Or at least ask for some help from someone who was a Blue. "Momoe! Junko!" In the back of her mind, she realized just a little that she hardly knew anyone who was a true Obelisk Blue anymore. "Fubuki!" Those were the only ones from her dorm that she could think of who might be willing to lend her a hand.

But there was no answer. Not from them. Not from anyone. At least, not from anyone human.

There is only the Light. Only the Light can help you, Tenjoin Asuka.

Speaking of the light, it was still growing more and more intense all around her. As a matter of fact, the farther down she went, the brighter it was all around her. That wasn't right. Shouldn't it have been growing darker if she went down farther? Nothing was happening the way that it should anymore.

What you want, what you ache for, the Light can give you. Everyone is equal in the Light, but you will be a leader. Second only to Manjoume, who is second only to Saioh. There is much work to be done to cleanse the world, and the Light needs people like you, great duelists who can sway the world to its cause. There are so many people that you could help, who could and should listen to you. Your friends would only be the beginning. Look and see what you could become.

An image spun before her eyes, even as she slipped another few inches downward. She saw herself, in the Pro Leagues, dueling some of the most famous and talented duelists there. One by one, they all fell before her, and each also rose up again to praise the glory of the Light and the one who had shown it to them: to praise her. They were all so grateful that she had shown them the way. They listened to her. She was important to them. She was worth listening to.

She hadn't known how much that she wanted that until she saw herself having it and knew that she didn't, not right now. She ached for that as the visions wove themselves in her mind. That was what she wanted: for people to take her seriously because she was a fine duelist and nothing else. She wasn't doing it by herself. This whole duel showed that. She couldn't do it by herself. The duels that she'd won in the past didn't mean a thing, because when it had mattered, when the pride of Obelisk Blue had mattered, she'd lost.

Then don't be Obelisk Blue. Even as the voice spoke, she slipped down even farther. Accept the Light. Be purified and cleansed into the Society of Light.

This…this was the future she wanted. This was the future that she wanted, the dream that she chose for herself. There was still so much that she didn't know about the Light. But there was no other way to find out about it, and if it was giving her the power to be listened to, what was wrong with that? This was the help that she needed. No one else had been able to do it, and she wasn't all that sure that any of them even cared in the first place, as much as they might say that they did.

The Light was different. The Light cared and was going to help her, and had never asked for her to do anything that she didn't want to do. She…accepted.

"Yes…"

As the word passed her lips, she lost all grip on the sand and fell backwards. The light grew and grew to the point she couldn't see anything anymore, not that there was anything there to be seen other than herself. She was still there, but the Light was there as well, blotting out her vision, blotting herself out, and driving away that warmth that had been within her. Instead, a cold flame now burned there, ice that was cold beyond measure.

Yes. This was what she had wanted all along and hadn't known it. The power to make a difference, to be a different person altogether. The sycophant that she had been, a little follower to a fool who knew nothing of the Light and the infinite knowledge of the past, present, and future that was contained within it, that little child was gone now.

She opened her eyes, and the first person that she saw was Manjoume. She couldn't recall having been so grateful to him in her entire life. They had so much more in common now than she had ever realized before.

"Don't be disappointed, Asuka!" She heard Juudai, but what he said meant nothing at all to her. Nor had what Fubuki said before that. Only the Light mattered now.

"You shouldn't be worried about me. Nothing at all has changed." Perhaps that was a slight lie, but it didn't matter. What they didn't know would only serve to enlighten them in the future. A little darkness now for a great deal of light later. It was a suitable exchange in her mind. "I've had a wonderful experience."

She could tell that they didn't have any idea of what she meant. That was quite all right with her. They would learn in time. She would be one of those who would teach them, and they would listen to her, finally. The great Light had given her what she wanted. It was up to her to prove that she was worthy of it.

There was no way that she would fail. No way that they would. The Light would rule all, and that was what was meant to be. It was everything that she had ever wanted.

It was destiny.

The End