AN: Hey man. This is my story.
So... I would say 'Be Nice,' but you'd probably flame me to death.
...
So... Okay, then.
Disclaimer: Don't own whatever it is you're complaining about.
"I love you, Edward." I said, embracing him.
He didn't answer, but his eyes spoke for him.
His eyes...
Beautiful topaz, glowing in the night sky. Pools of liquid gold...
I reached up to kiss him, and he responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around my waist.
Edward...
"Ahem." A voice said loudly from behind.
I turned around, annoyed at the interruption. A completely unfamiliar girl strode confidently out of the forest, wrinkling her nose at the sight of us.
"No viciously making out to make yourselves feel wanted in front of company," she said huffily, and walked past us towards the house, swinging her black hair over her shoulder as she went.
Edward and I stiffened as the scent hit us-
She was a... a HUMAN?
"What the hell is she doing here?" Edward demanded. We caught up with her easily.
"Hey- little girl. I don't know how you found out about us, but you're not welcome here." Edward snarled. She looked about thirteen, and stared hard at him. He huffed. "I am NOT!"
"What?" I asked impatiently. Renesmee would never misbehave like this...
She let out a short laugh.
"HEY! That was uncalled for!"
"My thoughts are my own." she insisted.
"What?!" I asked impatiently. "What was she thinking?!"
"She called me a pansy."
I glared at her.
"And I called you a ho." she added to me.
Turning her back on us, she continued towards the house.
"WAIT!" Edward called. "HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT US?!"
"Intuition."
"That's bull!" Emmett said, appearing suddenly. "Who are you?"
"My name is Inna Raven Moose..." she said darkly, turning to face all of us. "And I am... and ex-Twilight fan."
"What?" Edward asked, confused.
"You weren't originally written by me, Eddy. You're a weak character. So I've become the author of this fanfiction... to crush you."
He smirked. "You couldn't crush me if you tried, you ignorant human."
"Maybe not alone..." a low voice said from behind.
"BUT SHE HAS BROUGHT COMPANY!" a shriller voice declared, and five teens emerged from the woods.
"TITANS- GO!" the leader shouted, and-
we interrupt bella's annoying, boring perspective to give you an important update-
robin will be continuing the narration.
We all jumped into action.
"STAR!" I shouted. "YOU TAKE THE PALE ONE!"
"But they are ALL unattractively pale, Robin!" Starfire cried, shooting green bolts at everyone.
He swore loudly. "You're right! BEAST BOY! GET THE DOCTOR AND THE LITTLE ONES!" More people had poured out of the house to see what was going on.
Beast Boy transformed into a bird and launched himself at the one in the lab coat.
"STAR! TAKE THE BLONDE! CYBORG, YOU TAKE CARE OF THE BIG ONE! RAVEN- I'LL LEAVE THE UGLIEST ONE WITH THE STUPID EXPRESSION TO YOU!"
"Got it!" Raven crowed, and launched herself immediately at the one they'd called 'Bella.'
"As for me..." Robin muttered. "I'll take YOU." He threw various objects at Edward, but the vampires seemed too fast!
The titans were losing...
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Raven shouted.
They were STILL losing.
Inna Raven Moose rolled her eyes...
"ACTIVATE AUTHOR POWERS!" She shrieked, and was immediately given powers greater than anyone imaginable... "Die," she said simply, her lip curling as she shot her spell at the Cullens.
And die they did.
Finally.
So they could stop being bad for the environment, and just rot like everything else in the world is MEANT to do. And SHOULD do.
So their 'unattractive pale faces,' as Starfire put it, wouldn't haunt the nightmares of young children...
"Cool." Inna said, grinning widely.
"I could go for a pizza..." Robin admitted.
"We could ALL go for a pizza!" Inna agreed.
There was a cry from inside.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?!" 'Nessie' shrieked, bothering, for once in her life, to talk normally.
"They are somewhere safe..." Starfire reassured her. "Oh... she is most adorable!" she cooed. Nessie smiled sweetly.
Inna rolled her eyes. "Die." she said again, and away she went... Starfire didn't fall COMPLETELY under the spell before Renesmee had been vanished for all eternity...
"That takes care of that." Robin said.
"Cool." Inna repeated.
AN: No, that's not me. WISH it was, though...
FLAME ME. Build a friggin' bonfire!
love!!!!
-The Sammy
PS: If you actually liked it... review and say so!