Don't Deny It, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! You should already know that.

----------------------

Don't Deny it

By: Mokubaz-Angel

----------------------

"You are nothing to me. Just a night of fun because I was bored"

His evil and cruel words replayed themselves in her mind, as she fixed herself in her school robes in front of her mirror. When she was good to go, she grabbed her books for class, and headed out. Her first class was potions, and it was to start in ten minutes, just enough time for her to get there. She had skipped breakfast, no wanting to have to sit at the Slytherin table. He was there.

She hadn't seen him since Sunday morning. The morning she had woken up beside him. The morning she woke up to happiness. She felt loved, she felt cared for. Something she had never really felt before. But when she told him so, he had laughed her off, pushing her away. She was confused at first, thinking he was just playing around; it was like him to do so. But when his words came out, she knew he was speaking the truth.

"You actually thought I loved you? Why ever would I love something like you?"

Why? She thought in her mind. Well, because of the way you came to me, smiled at me, held me, made love to me. That's why! She thought sadly, as she felt more tears coming. Quickly, she wiped them away. She couldn't cry! She was on her way to potions. He would be there. He had seen her at her worst already, and she wouldn't let him see it again. She couldn't let him know this was still affecting her the way it was. He could never know.

But gods did it hurt. Did it ever. She had liked him since the beginning of their seventh year. She hadn't expected too. He was one of her best friends. They were so alike in many ways. Too alike, for she had slowly developed a crush on him, and then that crush soon turned to love. She had never told him of her feelings though. She was too scared. Scared he would laugh her off, and it would ruin their friendship. She didn't want that. But now, they could never be anything, not even friends. Not after what he did. How he used her, made her believe he actually felt something for her.

She cursed herself under her breath. This was so unlike her. She was never one to let anything get to her, especially this easy. She was strong, cunning, intelligent, and basically perfect, she was a Slytherin! Slytherins didn't act like this! They didn't let petty things like love get in the way. If something like this happened, they shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

She sighed sadly, as she turned the corner. Then why won't this go away? She asked herself. I hate how I'm feeling. . .so depressed, so used. Why did he have to do this to me? She wondered, as she continued on. He sounded so truthful, how could he be so cruel? She asked herself.

"You've been on my mind a lot lately Pansy. . .more then I can bare. . ."

Did every single word he spoke, everything he said; was it all one big lie? No! It couldn't have been. Not the way he had come to me, spoke to me! No! She cried in her mind. I won't believe it! Gods I need a forgetful spell. If I could forget everything, then it would be better she thought.

Continuing her walk, she looked at her watch, realizing she was late by a few minutes. She shrugged it off. Professor Snape won't take any points off, I am from Slytherin she thought. Besides, I'm almost there anyways she thought, as fear began to run through her small body.

She stopped walking suddenly, taking deep breaths. Pansy. . .it's okay. . .you can do this! Don't let that scum make you feel like shit she thought, taking another deep breath, as she continued to walk down the cold and bare halls, finally entering her potions class.

"Now when making the Calm- why Miss Parkinson, good of you to join us" Professor Snape said. "Into your seat now" he said, before going back to the explanations of the potion they would be making the following day.

"Yes sir" she said barely above a whisper, as she walked to her seat, unfortunately, beside him.

Pansy took a seat, feeling very uncomfortable. She felt as if all eyes were on her, and they knew, and were all laughing. She bit on her lip, trying to keep focused on the lesson and not cry. She couldn't cry, especially not now. Not in class. Not in front of the Gryffindor's, not in front of her teacher, not in front of her friend's, and especially him!

But, despite how hard she tried to concentrate, she couldn't. Her mind would continue to go back and think of Saturday night's events, then the following morning. She felt like it was just one big nightmare, and she prayed she would wake up and laugh it off. But it wasn't. And as time passed in the class, she realized it well enough.

How can he sit there and act like nothing happened! She cried in her mind. She couldn't believe how he was acting. How he had acted. I must be stupid to fall for him. Why would he anyways? She thought sadly.

Laughs had erupted in the classroom, snapping Pansy back to reality. Unfortunately, because of being lost in her thoughts, she had no idea what had happened, and immediately jumped to conclusions.

"How dare you!" Pansy erupted, standing up from her seat. She couldn't take it anymore. She felt like she was going to explode with anger and sadness, and she didn't care if it showed. Her heart had been broken into pieces, and she didn't care any longer what any of them thought of her.

Draco Malfoy watched her from his seat, as she screamed at him. He knew she was sad and angry about what happened. But he didn't appreciate her going insane in class. He didn't even know why she had said it. There had been an explosion from Nevielle Longbottoms potion. Why would she tell me 'How dare you' because of that? He wondered.

"Sit down Pansy" Malfoy spoke, grabbing her arm, and bringing her to her seat, but she had pulled away angrily.

"I can't believe you told them! You have no shame at all! You don't care about what you did to me! All you care about was fucking me no? I hope your happy you bastard, I hate you!" she screamed, before running out of the classroom, her book bag in hand.

The class had fallen into a silence, all eyes upon Draco Malfoy, as he sat there shocked. He couldn't believe she had said that in front of everyone. Instantly, he grabbed his own book bag, and raced after her down the hallway, determined to find her and talk to her. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he hoped it would come to him.

Dammit Draco! Why do you have to be such a bastard sometimes? He thought, running down the halls. He couldn't blame her for the way she had acted. He had been a total ass. He didn't know why he had said what he had said, but he knew he had been lying. Why did I have to lie? There was no fear of rejection. Or her hurting me. She had told me she loved me then. . .so why did I do it? He asked himself.

Draco Malfoy had never been close with anybody. Never told anyone his secrets or how he felt. He never ever opened up, not to even his best friend's. He didn't trust anyone. But with her. . .he felt like he could. She was different then Crabbe, Goyle or Zambini. Malfoy ran up the stairs and down the hall, finally reaching the common room.

"Devil's Snare" he said to the portrait, and it instantly swung open. Draco entered the room, and saw her handbag thrown on the floor. Quickly, he ran up the stairs to the girl's rooms, and opened the door, to find her there.

"Pansy. . ." he said her name softly, as she looked up from her bed in tears. She looked so small and fragile. It hurt him to see her like this. Knowing he was the one that cause her all this pain. All because he feared rejection.

"Come to laugh at me some more? Or think I'm stupid enough to let you fuck me again?" she cried, her voice rising. "I won't! I hate you so much, you bastard! Get the hell out," she screamed.

Draco shook his head, and walked up to her, sitting on her soft bed. "No Pansy, I won't go. We need to talk," he said, as he reached to touch her hand, but she moved it away quickly.

"I have nothing to say to you. Leave me alone. Don't you think you've done enough?" she asked, wiping her tears away from her eyes. She hated crying in front of him. But they wouldn't stop from falling.

"Pansy! Fuck, listen! I didn't mean any of that shit I told you that morning. I didn't want to tell you the truth, I didn't know how" he spoke, anger in his voice. He didn't blame her for not wanting to listen to him.

"Don't' even lie to me. . .I won't. . .fall for it. . .again" she said barely, her tears more frequent.

"Pansy. . .you must believe me. You've known me for a long time. I don't get close to anyone. . .I don't trust. It's hard for me! Do you think this is easy now for me telling you all this? It isn't!" he yelled, standing up, determined to get through to her.

"I'm so sure" she spoke. She refused to believe anything he said, refused to fall for it all over again. She would just get hurt like before. She wasn't one to make the same mistake twice.

Malfoy grabbed her and lifted her up so she stood before him, his cold blue gray eyes looking down on her. Sadness was written all over her face, and so was anger, and he hated looking at it.

"Pansy, listen to me. I won't let you go till you do. Do you know how hard it is for me to even begin explaining this? God, you have no idea" he started out. He took a deep breath. He still wasn't exactly sure how he would explain it, or even if he could. But he was determined to try.

"Get your damn hands off of me" was all she said. She wasn't sure if she felt safe close to him, or disgusted.

"No. I told you, not till I'm done," he said, keeping a firm grip on her. He knew she was struggling to get out of his grasp, but he was a lot stronger then her, and was able to keep her there. "Pansy, forget everything I told you that morning okay? I didn't mean it at all-"

"Then why did you say it?" she fired back. "You said it so cruelly, you laughed at me! You – no!" she cried. She didn't want to believe him.

"I don't know why I said it! I just couldn't tell you the truth! I didn't know how" he said, his anger beginning to fade.

"So you lie?" she cried.

"I know I shouldn't have. . . but I didn't know what else to do" he tried to explain, hoping she would understand.

"I don't care! You shouldn't have lied! Let go of me now, I'm tired of your continuous lies" she yelled, trying to pull herself from him.

"I know I shouldn't have! I realize all the problems it's caused, and I'm fucking sorry! I don't know what you want me to say! What more can I? I'm trying to talk to you, and you think this is all a fucking lie! You have no idea how hard it is to tell you that I do care for you and that I do need you as much as you need me and that I do love you, because your different from any other I've ever met. But you never listen, and you believe everything I now say is a lie. So, I don't know what you want me to say. You want me gone? Fine, I'll go" he yelled at her, finally letting go, as she fell to the bed.

She gasped, as she looked up at him. She couldn't believe he had just told her all that. Apart of her screamed to not believe him, that he was just a liar. But, the look on his face should something different. . .and she knew he had to been telling the truth.

She watched him, as he turned around, and began to walk out the door, to leave her alone like she had been screaming at him to do. Don't let him go Pansy, don't something told her, and instantly, she acted upon it.

"Draco. . ." she whispered, as she stood up from the bed. She didn't want him to go. She didn't know what she really wanted at that moment.

He turned, and looked at her. He wasn't sure if he had imagined it or not, but he hoped she had called his name.

"I. . .I'm sorry" she said softly, as more tears fell from her eyes. She didn't know why she was saying sorry. She had been the one who was hurt. It was his fault this had happened.

Draco shook his head as he walked up to her. "You shouldn't be sorry at all Pansy. This is my entire fault. I did this. I knew it was wrong that very moment, and I did it anyways," he said softly, surprising them both even.

"I know. . . but-"

"No buts. I had no right to do any of these things to you. You're such a beautiful person, Pansy. You really are. And. . .I love you, even if you might not anymore," he said

She rolled her eyes and wiped away her tears, and smiled slightly. "I love you to Draco. . .even if you've been a complete prat" she said, as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry Pansy," he said once again.

"I know," she said.

Draco pulled her chin up, and brought his lips to hers, kissing her passionately. Immediately, Pansy responded to it. She was happy that everything was over with. That it was all out now. She knew how he felt, and it was a huge relief to her. The happiness she felt now, she had never felt before, and she hoped it would never leave.

"Well isn't this just precious" a mocking voice said, as he leaned into the door way, watching the little scene before him.

The two broke away quickly, turning to him. Draco glared at him angrily. "Will you fuck off Zambini!" he yelled.

"No, I like this, fun to watch" he laughed.

Quickly, Draco grabbed his wand from his pocket, muttering a smell to close and lock the door. Putting his wand back, he turned to the woman in front of him.

"Now, where were we?" he asked, as he bent down, kissing her once more, passionately, and proving in that one kiss how much he loved her, and she knew it.

That she did.

So there you have it! My first DM/PP! I hope you guys liked it as much as I liked writing it! Please review and tell me what you think!! Very appreciated!!