"Oh no! Perceptor thought to himself. "What will I say?" He was becoming nervous and unsure of himself. He needs to make a good first impression. "I know, I'll ask /p/askPredditicons for some advice. Those Predditors are surely very good with the ladies with their dazzling intellect." Perceptor pulled up Preddit and began browsing on his internal web browser.
At that moment, Perceptor accidentally lost control and hit a woman walking her dog. "Just great." Perceptor thought to himself. "At least there's no god and morality is subjective"
Perceptor cringed at how hamfisted this delievery was and went about his business, after disposing of the bodies.
Perceptor arrived at the coffee shop and situated himself at a table. "Empty. I hope she hasn't had a change of heart."
In that moment, Perceptor heard the most horrifying, shrill schreech he had ever heard in his entire life. "Oh Perceptor dear, I Star Scream am here for our DATE!"
Perceptor wept.
"What's wrong Perceptor?" squealed Star Scream. "Feeling a bit, betrayed?"
Perceptors spark felt tainted as Star Scream hung on that word. Betrayed. The word just slipped out of his lips, almost orgasmically.
"Whatever.", he dismissed. "At least I can enjoy some coffee as I browse /p/atheism". He took a sip from his mocha, "...you should just Star Scram"
Star Scream was totes rekt and left in silence.
Maybe Perceptor didn't need love. He did have science after all. Perceptor left the coffee shop, feeling euphoric.
That night, Perceptor stared at the picture of Tesla he lovingly placed above his bed and "transformed and rolled one out"
But somewhere on Cybertron, a great threat was brewing.