Title: Dear Serena, Count Me In
Author: Kaylie
Fandom: Gossip Girl [tv!]
Pairing: Serena/Blair
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, I cannot lay claim to Blair or Serena.
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Her eyes shifted from the other girl's puzzled face, turned ruefully to the floor. Delicate fingers traced her cheek, her nose, the skin under her eyes. Silence passed in flying seconds, which turned into completely uncomfortable minutes. She felt warm cobalt eyes on her face, but she fought against all her need to return the look. The fingers soon fell from her face, and a huffy sigh issued from her companion. She laughed a little and nuzzled her face into the taller, nicer, better girl's neck.
"What's the matter?" the other girl asked, her whisper dripping in sweet, sincere concern, even though they both already knew what was the matter and that saying it aloud would only hurt them both.
So she opted to ignore the question, and instead press her lips against the perfect collarbone poking out from the blonde's pale, perfect skin.
The other girl managed to hold herself still, to pretend that she didn't feel it, that she didn't want to wrap her big hands around the waist of her friend, that she didn't want to hold her there for all eternity.
She turned her head, closed her eyes, and listened to the other girl's heart beat, while she stood there, tall and blonde and still and perfect. She pictured her friend's warm eyes cool and detached and waiting for her to move, waiting for the silly giggle to pour from her lips, waiting for her to admit that that was silly and uncalled for. Her mind was lazy, for once, no scheming and no gossip whirling in the space she left available for thinking. There were only memories, sweet and soft, drifting through, like light clouds on a warm, blustery summer day.
"I used to think you'd leave," she said eventually, her voice cracking even as she fought hard against it, even as she tried not to say the words at all. "But, now..." She smiled. "I'm not sure I'll ever get rid of you."
The personification of perfection didn't relax. "Is that a problem?" she asked, her voice a little more clipped, now, a little more frustrated and confused.
She shook her head, though she didn't move it from her best friend's shoulder. "Of course not."
Silence started to stretch now, again, thick and heavy with implications and lies, with cover-ups and not reallys and I love yous and I hate yous. She couldn't even begin to remember all the moments they'd shared, over the years. Growing up and growing down, doing homework and not doing homework, playing dress up in front of big mirrors, watching movies on a massive bed, snuggling and pretending there was nothing else in the world but the two of them.
"So, what's the matter, then?" flew from between clenched-sounding teeth.
It dawned on her that this blonde miracle, her blonde savior, was a teensy bit frustrated with her right now. Oops. She could understand the feeling, she knew it exactly. She knew that normally, it would be her pretending there was nothing in this moment, while her perfect friend would be in her position, trying to wheedle the words out of her. Shit. Now that she knew how it felt, to get this cold, annoyed tone when this came up, came between them she wasn't sure she wanted to push it. She sighed, a little heavily, and squeezed her eyes shut.
"C'mon! Please, don't do this to me, Blair."
She grimaced at the sound of her name, and tried not to creep closer to the looming, tall, gorgeous girl that she leaned against. But she did it anyway. There was nothing that would keep her away from this other girl, nothing that would repel her from her best friend. Her mouth opened a couple times, she tried to form words complete and confident enough that the blonde would relax. She was struggling, though, of course, to say how she felt. When it really mattered, Blair had no words.
Finally, those long arms wrapped around her, ensnared her in a circle of adoration and praise and comfort. There was something else, too, something in the embrace that made the breath hiss out of her, something that was forbidden and wrong and full and completely right.
"I guess you don't have to say anything. I guess I already know," the perfect girl said softly, resting her head atop her friend's. "I guess I always did."
Her head turned, so that she could place her lips back on that collarbone. She smiled and let her hair be stroked, while she nipped at the skin of the other girl's delicate, perfect throat.
"I love you too," Serena said.