Harry Potter and the TWO GIRLS FROM TEH REALWERLD!
One day, two authoresses finished reading Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix and looked up from the book, their eyes filled with tears and their jaws dropped.
"H-he dies?" LivvieluvsOliver9 asked. Her best friend RupertsgrrlMina started sobbing and hitting her head on the desk.
"HOW--" BANG! "COULD--" BANG! "SHE--" BANG! "KILL--" BANG! "HIM?????!" BANG! BANG! BANG! On the last bang, RupertsgrrlMina's head hit the cordless keyboard and one word appeared on the Wordpad document.
wrte
"Wrte?" LivvieluvsOliver9 asked.
"No, it's obviously a sign." RupertsgrrlMina said. "Telling us that we're obviously supposed to write a fanfiction where we bring him back!" LivvieluvsOliver9 gasped and smiled.
"What a great idea, Mina!" she said. "But who's supposed to bring him back?" she asked. RupertsgrrlMina looked at the computer with her 'plot bunny' eyes.
"I've got an idea,"
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Harry arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters feeling worse than ever. The Dursleys didn't want to take him to the platform, so he had to hitchhike all the way there from Guam, where the Dursleys were vacationing.
"Hi, Harry!" Ron said, running up. He looked very happy, because his Dad had been promoted to Minister of Magic and he had a whole new array of new clothes. And he had a Firebolt 30,000, which was much faster than the normal Firebolt because it was more expensive.
"Hi, Ron." Harry said glumly. He had had a horrible summer; the Dursleys locked him in the closet because they suck, so he was locked in the closet for two months with only a bottle of water and an order of McDonalds French Fries, which he did not like at all. Then suddenly, they both turned around to see two girls emerging from the barrier. One of the girls had long blonde hair that reached her knees and had purple streaks, her silver eyes shone in the sunlight and her pale skin was dotted with freckles. The other girl had red hair that fell to her waist in long ringlets and had two black tendrils in the front, her eyes were green like a plant and her skin was milky pale also.
"Hey, it's my cousin, Minakoyagichiyaperi Hasuyakokakimayakukiyo!" Ron yelled. "Let's go say hi!" Harry and Ron walked up to the two girls and Ron hugged Minakoyagichiyaperi. Harry felt a stabing pain of jealousy, though he wasn't sure why.
"OMG! You must be Harry Potter!" the girl with blonde hair said. "I'm Livvie Gomez. I'm half-asian-half-mexican-half-Native-American-half-Fijan-half-Japanese-half-Chinese-half-Guamanaian-half-Russian-half-Yemenese-half-Vietnamese-half-American-half-Atlantis-half-Chupacabra and half-Antarctican!" she said. "I'm also a the youngest professional Quidditch player in the world, and I can eat spagetti with my nose," she said while hugging close the boy that had suddenly appeared.
"Hey my name is Takanori and I'm a transfer from Japan, oh did I forget to mentoin i'm also a rock star?"He smiled that evil smile only rich people could do.
"Yeah he's also boyfriend." Livvie added.
"And my brother," Minakoyagichiyaperi said. "By the way, you can call me Mina!"
"Oh, hi Mina. What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, walking over.
"You know Mina too?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, she's my half-sister," Hermione said.
"And, by the way, Harry. I'm also your father's bastard child with Avril Lavigne," Mina said happily.
"OMG! I luv Avril Lavigne!" Hermione burst out. "And look, I got a few piercings. Just normal ones, ten in each ears, a few in my lip, a few -- down there --, and a nipple piercing!" she said.
"OMG! That is so cool!" Livvie said. "Hey, wanna go make out?" she asked.
"Sure!" Hermione said. "Because, I've given up on Ron since he is an idiot and become a lesbian!" she said."Wow that's so totally awesome!" Harry said.
"I know!" Hermione said. "Oh yeah, and meet my cousin," a tall blonde girl with tanned skin seemed to come out of nowhere. "Britney Spears,"
"Hi, ya'll! It's like totally nice to meet ya'll!" Britney said. "Ya'll can call me Brit,""Hi, Brit!" everyone said.
"Harry!" said a familiar voice.
"Sirius?" Harry asked. He turned around and saw Sirius. "SIRIUS!"
"Hi, Harry!" Sirius siad, hugging him.
"Sirius my fluff puppy snuffles!" Harry said.
"By the way, I've cleared his name too." Mina said. "Because I am the American Minister of Magic,"
"I know, she's so totally awesome," Sirius said. He suddenly kissed Mina and Ron pushed him away.
"Hey! Mina's my girlfriend!" he said.
"Wait, isn't she your cousin?" Harry asked. His question went unanswered because at that moment a blinding light blinded everyone in the blinding vicinity and the train was gone and Lord Voldemort was on the platform.
"Okay, I won't hurt anyone if I just get my daughter," he said.
"Your daughter?" Harry asked. "Who's that?"
"Mina, of course!" Voldemort said. "She's my ickle Minikins!"
"DADDY!" Mina yelled.
"But wait, aren't you MY dad's bastard daughter with Avril Lavigne AND Hermione's little half-sister AND Ron's cousin?" he asked.
"I'm also Snape's aunt, Dumbledore's sister and Remus Lupin's sire." Mina said.
"Something fishy in Cleveland," Harry said.
"By the way, didn't you know? Your father is Lord Voldemort!" Mina said.
"Uh... no he's not!" Harry said.
"Uh... yes he is!" Mina said.
"Nuh-uh!"
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"I refuse to believe you!" Harry yelled. Mina pouted and Harry finally saw the light. "Gasp! Mary Sue!"
"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" Mina screeched. Suddenly she morphed into a chubbier, slightly pimply girl with pale skin, glasses and lank dark hair. Livvie turned into a fat blonde girl with a sunburn and Takanori popped out of existance.
"How dare you!" They yelled and disappeared with a pop! Sirius disappeared also, and Voldemort did too. Everything was finally normal again as Hermione went and hugged Harry.
"You solved it! You solved it!" she said.
"That's because, only a Mary Sue could make Voldemort appear on the Platform and do absolutely nothing," Harry said. Not noticing the purple haired girl with cat ears and color-changing eyes that was boarding the train.
THE END... for now.
A/N: Explanations for some things:
Takanori: Did you know that T.M. Revolution (Major Japanese singer who may or may not be gay) the initials stand for Takanori Makes Revolution?
Livvie can eat spagetti through her nose: I discovered shortly after this that I can see the future. I wrote this and that night we had spagetti to eat. And it was really good spagetti.
Girl with purple hair and cat ears: There are way too many of these than I can stand.
So, please review or flame. Whatever.