Disclaimer: not mine.
"Oh for fuck's sake!"
Peeves had been pranking his rooms for quite a while and it was only when Severus called on the Bloody Baron did the knocking stop. Yet, it was happening all over again right in the middle of the night. The hinges were hysterically squeaking as the poltergeist rammed itself towards the door.
"That's it… that's it!" He threw his blanket aside, seconds before he had just settled comfortably in, shoved his arms haphazardly through his robes and lunged at the door.
"Piss the fuck off!-"
Too startled to comprehend what was happening, he felt something warm close over his wide open mouth and a pair of large hands frantically clasping and clutching his robes, grabbing almost anything it could grab like they, who ever it was, were just about to fall off the edge of a cliff. And thankfully he could guarantee, the solid warm body that crashed into him, wasn't Peeves. He staggered back, heard the door close loudly as if it had been kicked, staggered and fell over the floor rug with an 'oomph!'
Remus Lupin's face hovered above him, smirking and biting his bottom lip teasingly at Severus, who was breathing heavily from below, his mouth slightly parted. He had one hand pinned against Severus' shoulder and the other, crawling tantalisingly along Severus' body, playing with the folds of his robes and stopping to rest on his abdomen.
"Where were we?" Remus said his head dipping down to nuzzle in the curve of Severus' neck as the other man stifled a moan.
"Oh that's right…" he said abruptly lifting his head up again, "I'll just 'piss off' now."
Severus narrowed his eyes, "What?! What are you talki-"
"Actually if I remember the exact phrasing…" Remus' eyebrows knitted in concentration. "'Piss the fuck off' I think it was… was it?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Yes you di-id!" Remus sang, smiling as he sprang from the floor,
"Well I-I didn't know it'd be you- it's Peeves! The little twit-"
"Bye Severus!" Remus flashed a broad grin and was practically skipping across the other side of the room.
"Hey! That's- that's" Severus stuttered, resisting the urge to grit his teeth and very aware at the slight bulge that had been neglected underneath his robes. "That's not fair! You can't do that!"
"Watch me."
And he did. He watched Remus step into the fireplace, vanishing in a puff of green smoke, still wearing his charming smile that would torment Severus for the rest of the night.