To the tune of "Put on Your Sunday Clothes" from Hello, Dolly! as heard on the Wall-E soundtrack.
Harry:
Out there,
There's a school that they call Hogwarts!
What my uncle calls a slick con, easily,
Is no trick, Ron Weasley!
Out there,
Full of magic and enchantment –
Is it just a lie, a show done queasily?
No, Ron Weasley!
Put on your wizard robes, because we're almost there!
Pack up your wand, and give your owl a rouse.
We're gonna find adventure on each moving stair.
Gryffindor
Greets us with a roar
As we score some more for the House!
Put on your wizard robes! We'll smash the Slytherins,
And start with Draco Malfoy, that low louse.
Harry and Ron:
We'll catch each Snitch
On the Quidditch pitch,
And each witch to us will look up,
And we won't come home until we've won the Cup!
Hermione:
Put on your wizard robes when you feel like a Squib.
With pointy hat a witch just can't feel low.
It's better still with raven quill and sharpened nib,
A tabby cat,
An owl, toad, or rat,
For a supernatural glow!
Hermione and Neville:
When magic wands appear the world's a clear, sweet song,
A Classic spell you may well find in Loeb's!
Hermione, Neville, and Ginny:
Though it be snowing,
Your mantle's glowing
With stars and crescents and globes,
Hermione, Neville, Ginny, and Chorus:
For it's sun, not blizzard, in your wizard –
No blizzard in your wizard –
No blizzard in your wizard robes!
Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle:
Put on your wizard robes when you've a hex to cast.
In hoods and masks your spells hurt all the worse.
Dressed like a dream a Mudblood's scream is such a blast.
A flowing cape,
In the style of Snape,
Adds panache and verve to your curse!
Female Chorus:
With broom beneath your arm the world's a charm so strong…
Male Chorus:
It makes your troubles shrink down to microbes!
Hermione, Neville, Ginny, and Chorus:
Get out your britches –
Harry, Ron, and Chorus:
Your Golden Snitches –
Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Chorus:
Your racks, and thumbscrews, and probes –
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Chorus:
For it's sun, not blizzard, in your wizard robes!
First Years' Chorus:
Put on your wizard robes to face the Giant Squid.
A dapper look will help in that ordeal.
Female Chorus:
Dress nattily and you may be relieved you did.
Male and Female Chorus:
If it's impressed
With the way you're dressed,
Then it might not make you its meal!
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Chorus:
Beneath your wishing-cap the world's a happy song –
The kind you play allaying magiphobes!
Chorus:
Get out your Kneazles,
Your Jarvey-weasels,
Your Clabberts flashing like strobes,
For it's sun, not blizzard, in your wizard robes!
Hermione (spoken):
Ginny, no more diaries – they are far too Slytherinny!
Neville, don't be nervous – get a grip.
Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, don't forget Neville and Ginny –
Just in case they try to form a secret ship!
(sung, in the manner of a conductor, echoed by Chorus):
Huffle-PUFF! (Huffle-PUFF!)
Raven-CLAW! (Raven-CLAW!)
Gryffin-DOR! (Slyther-IN! Huffle-PUFF! Raven-CLAW! Gryffin-DOR!)
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Chorus:
Put on your wizard robes, because we're almost there!
Put your House jumper on and don your tie.
We're gonna find adventure on each moving stair:
Harry (to Malfoy):
We three, old pal,
Find you lot banal –
So Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy, good-bye!
Harry, Ron, and Hermione fling them off the train.
Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle (screamed):
Yah!
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Chorus:
Put on your scholar's gown, and down upon our toes
We'll wear a Common Welsh Green dragon shoe!
Hermione:
I've read they use the cast-off hides!
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, and Chorus:
Now, clad in V-Necks
We'll join the Phœnix,
And this, I promise, is true,
That we won't come home –
No, we won't come home –
No, we won't come home till we beat You-Know-Who!