CURSE OF THE WOLF

By: Fluffy IN xxDaFreakyNickNameGangxx

Disclaimer: I don't own Remus, Sirius, James, Petter—any of the Harry Potter Characters. They belong to J.K.Rowling. A few of these Characters are my Friends RP Characters, and Tod Copper (You'll see him later on) and Tala Wolfe are most defiantly mine. You cannot have them!

Summary: How does Remus really feel? What does his 'condition' really mean to him? Remus realizes his friends are the most important thing to have in Hogwarts. Sirius begins to Understand more clearly on the pain that Remus has to go through.

A few notes to read: NOT slash. Heh. Sorry Slash lovers, although some perverted minds may see it that way—sorry. Just good friends, I'm sure we all have 'em.

It was dark. So very dark it sent chills up any ones spine that even had the guts to come out in such dark of the night. A chilly breeze blew by rustling the tree's swaying back and fourth form the spot their roots dug deep into the firm earth. They creaked eerily as the wind blew by, making a rocking noise that would usually be comfortable of wood creaking stably in the earth... but the sound had a new ring to it. Fear. The grass, being loyal to the tree's followed their lead. Swaying in the same motion, same rhythm, and same objective. Fear. The wind, causing the whole fearful setting howled through the wind to make Goosebumps run up your spine and down to your toes. The sounds of the howling wind entwined with the sounds of the creaking wood.. The rustling grass. Besides this horrid themed song that nature provided was no sound what so ever. No sound unless you listened. No sound, except for the shallow ragged breathing of a young boy. Why would one so young be out in this setting you may ask? He didn't even know. But his father did.

The boy looked up into his father's handsome face in fear. What was going on? What had interrupted their wonderful camping trip that had just begun only hours ago? What was he afraid of? Looking into his fathers face, he usually saw confidence, bravery, and he knew that nothing wrong would ever happen while his father stood by him, protected him. His father was his hero, his one person he could look up to and know he would be safe while he was with him. Yet... there was a change here. His eyes widened as he looked into his fathers eyes. No longer confidence or bravery, but his eyes glinted with fear and caution, his hands, they trembled while he held a long pure silver bar in them. What was that for any way? His father no longer held an elegant stance of power or muscle, but he looked almost.. Cowardly! What was this? If father was scared... there was no hope. This made the boy feel worse at his father's reactions to nothing but a long howl in the distance. Probably just a wolf... not that bad. But daddy seemed to see beyond just a wild wolf around. He knew something the boy didn't.

"Daddy? What is it?" The young boy asked sleepily yet fearfully. His hands shook as he spoke; his voice trembled as he asked this one simple question. Simple yes... but it seemed as if it was the hardest question on earth. Not to answer, but to understand. For the father was not giving a clear answer at all. In fact, it wasn't an answer; it was an order it seemed.

"Quiet Son!" he said in an urgent whisper, eyes darting around back and fourth in the bushes. It sounded more of a plea then an order that scared this boy at his father showing weakness even to him. What was he looking for? Nothing hid in the bushes... or did they? Hot salty tears stung at the boys golden honey colored eyes as he blinked back some of the tears in his way.

"Dad! What is it!" he started to whine. This was getting to hard. To suspenseful, and his father... afraid this way, he couldn't take it any longer.

His father ignored him completely as he flinched at a rustle in the bushes. He took this as his queue and set off, calling back behind his shoulder.

"Remus, stay here! Daddy will be back soon I promise!" he called and disappeared in the shadows

Ah yes ladies and gentlemen. This young boy was Remus Lupin. Never heard of him? You shouldn't. Besides.. Who would want to know a monster? 'Monster?' you may ask. Surely he does not look like a monster, and in this part, he is not. Well, this is how Remus felt as well, how to be abused.. How to feel unwanted, and grew up thinking he was a killer... the truth was.. That 'is' what he would become... a killer.

Remus loyally nodded to his father although he tried with all his might to stay back, watching his father disappear and he was left there... standing on the soft grass, listening to those creaking tree's, to the wind howling, and the full moon shining above him so innocently. He looked up at the moon. It was so... so beautiful. He was curious on what the dark side of the moon looked like.. Curious on how something could have such beauty. The silvery halo around the moon, shedding its light on the earth, making the leafy green grass a silvery blue. His light brown hair a silver and the lake near by, rippling as a single fish silver scaled swam by, glowed silver blue. He thought, this place showed so much beauty when the moon was here. It showed s new light to the eerie setting in front of him. Little did he know, that this was the last time he would look at the moon through human eyes, and enjoy, appreciate the power of the moon.

As he suddenly began to relax, he noticed later on that he had been waiting a while and there was no sign of his father.. Or anything else, just silence. He began to get worried on what had happened to him... or where he had gotten. He was just about to give up and look for him when a long howl filled the sky. Remus froze. Not in fear, but it seemed the howl made him almost paralyzed. It was so close... He froze, but when the noise the brought him back to life. The sound that he had never heard before, but yet he knew what it was. It was a loud shriek, a mans scream

"Daddy!?" he called. He knew that was his father, but he couldn't stand it. That scream had the loud pang of weakness, of pain; he knew that was a very very bad sign. He then got pulled away from his father's orders and ran after him. He was running as fast as he ever had in his life until two large pairs of yellowing fangs rested in front of him. He looked up to see a large beastly figure of what seemed a wolf with graying hair. He began to run, but the wolf pounced, and then--

Moonlight streamed in through the great-bordered windows that were bringing dim light to the great castle known as Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Little pieces of dust flew in the air, eliminated by the light, it looked like miniscule fairies were floating the the moonlight as it sent a silvery glow over the common room. Every thing was a silver blue themed scene, made by the moon. One of the large bordered windows let a rather large stream of silvery blue moonlight in on the boy's section of the Gryffindore common room. The sounds of soft sleep breathing of many boys in the common room were heard, along with loud snores from most. It seemed every occupant in the room seemed to be having a peaceful slumber. Ahem! Were you listening? I said it 'Seemed'! Obviously 'Seem' or "seemed" Does not state a fact... Anyways... Yes, every thing 'seemed' peaceful. But things were usually not what they seemed. One was defiantly not peaceful this one night. In one bed, were the snorts of disturbance near by. Face scrunched up in displeasure and breathing very heavily in fear, was a young 5h year Gryffindore, Remus Lupin.

Beads of sweat dripped down his head as he panted in his sleep. Something disturbing him. Something of his displeasure, something that brought him fear. But what? With a loud snort, the figure under the covers ripped the covers off of his bed and sat up, wide-eyed and fearful of something he dreamt. He wiped the sweat off his face, still panting slightly. He noticed that sweat wasn't the only thing on his face... but warm salty tears as well. He looked to the alarm clock to his left on the bed stand. It read 3:00 AM. Sighing he fell back to feel his head get saved by the pillow on his soft bed. His eyes, a golden honey color that glowed almost in the darkness, wide open and staring at the ceiling. He tried to get back to sleep, but couldn't. Staring at the ceiling, catching his breath, he was thinking on what he had just dreamed. That same dream... the same damn one that always came near the moon... Today was the full moon...When he had gotten the curse of the wolf. When he had got that one scar that changed his life. When a neighbor moved into his body... the wolf. He sighed, the dream replaying over and over in his head. The wolf, pouncing, feasting upon his arm. His fathers fear, then his scream. Big fangs.

"Go away!!!" came a raged voice from Remus. Many sleepy voices grumbled in confusion, or some just shouted back

"Oi! We're trying to sleep here!"

Petter next to him in the next bed snorted, rolled over and started to snore as loud as ever so more raged yells from the other boys were now Directed to Peter.

Remus ignored them and tried ignoring the dream again. Not working. He would never get back to sleep. He silently got up, took a look at his three sleeping friends. First, the messy black haired boy, hazel eyes closed. James... Oh Nice James. He always tried his best to comfort Remus or help him when he needed help. He looked to Sirius, who had obviously been disturbed by Peters snoring for he had a large pillow pressed against his head and one arm holding it down on his ear. Sirius.. He, always caring, yet the lead jokester in the group. So eager to do what he wanted... so hasty on his actions, yet he was a great friend. Peter, his friend, basically the same with Remus. He wouldn't be lying if he said he was closer to that rat then James or Sirius. The truth was, James and Sirius always were together, always loved each other like brothers, always together no matter where they were. Remus was usually in there with them wherever they were, but it was no lie that they cared for each other more then Remus. Three was a crowd... Sure they had accepted Him and Wormtail... but Sirius and James were always together, always partners when it came to pairs. Who was left? Wormtail and himself. Sure Wormtail was either a loyal tagalong, or a respectful stalker, but still, he was a marauder, and he cared for Wormtail like he was his life as well as James and Sirius did. That's what they al did, no matter their disabilities or abilities... They stuck with each other, always.

He sighed, pulling his honey golden eyes off his slumbering friends and turned his back to them and walked off, eyes closed, head down and thinking why they had chosen him as a friend? What had caused them to think he was so special? He felt guilty, that they had chosen him as a friend when they didn't know what he was... what had cursed him. What lived deep inside of him? Before they knew that he was a

Werewolf.

. Yes, you heard me right, a werewolf. 'Oh cool!' some of you may say. Pffft! Have you ever been one before? No. You have no idea, and if your lucky you wont have an idea, for you don't want one. How would it be, to suffer every month, by letting out a wild beast that is feared by all, and that some think have no feelings and are just wild man eating killers? Bad. But you don't know the half of it. It's more then bad. Its bad beyond words. It was horrible, the feeling of your bones changing into ones of a beast, an animal. A wolf. To feel suddenly that you were lost in another ones body, and then to taste the coppery tangy flavor of the red liquid of life, blood, from another magnificent creature. And then, to wake to find you have dried blood from another being on your torn ripped up clothes, and then to find your reflection staring back at you with 'guilty' written all over it from the dried blood plastered to you face, and the feeling of nausea rising up your chest, to throw up every morning to find out what you'd eaten. It was horrible. Think differently about being a werewolf now? I hope so...

He gulped down the nausea in the throat with great difficulty and a few hacking coughs as he pulled on his pitch-black robes wearing the Gryffindor lion standing bravely in gold and scarlet. He looked at the fierce lion, on its hindquarters, rearing, and mane obviously tossing as it bared its teeth to show its bravery a while. He didn't deserve the bold figure of the lion on his robes. He was the most cowardly person he knew. He didn't deserve this house. Heck, he didn't deserve to be in this school! Having the chance of running off and snacking on a first year, knawing on the bones of a student or teacher, Werewolves weren't meant at Hogwarts... why was Dumbledore so foolish not to realize that? But he accepted him anyways... why? So many of his species were out there, and they didn't have a wizarding school to attend to, for they were in fear of them... but Dumbledore accepted him... why?

He sighed, seeing that this was going nowhere. He could feel guilty after his leave from Hogwarts. Sighing, he decided to take a walk out side on the grounds. Walking down the steps of the stairs, he thought... why him? Why did a simple first camping trip have to result to this? He could have been a normal boy... he could have lived a normal life, away from this wolf that teared at his feelings inside of him. Away from this curse... away from the moons spell that binded him to live with this beast. He would rather die. What was holding him back anyways? Who would care if he died? Who would care if he had killed himself? People would probably be joyous he would of dyed, not to be afraid of their children going to a school that had the beastly shadow of a wolf lurking inside this boy's body at Hogwarts. And he would be happy too. He would be happy he wouldn't have to live with the suffering he had done every month for ten years, and what made him feel worse, was that he'd most likely live fifty or sixty more years bearing this curse. His life could only go down hill from here. His time at Hogwarts would probably be called heaven compared to what would happen when he would grow older. But yet...dying was the easy was out. Living would show bravery of carrying this curse... but yet, as he would live, others would die because of him... he didn't know what was right form wrong any more. So confusing, so painful. Nothing was holding him back from dying... but his four best friends. They would kill them selves if he died... but yet, why would they anyways? Why did they... care? What did they see that was special in him? He was just a monster...

Before he knew it, he found himself leaning against his favorite tree outside with out knowing. He felt the solid wood holding his weight as he leaned there in thought and depression. It creaked as the wind blew by making it sway in the wind that carried the secrets of nature and change. Change... Yes, it seemed that every thing had to change... everything changed, it was impossible to have anything that couldn't change, for it always did. Hell he did every month. Yes, you could tell he was angry now, cursing in his head. Well, saying 'bad words' didn't mater any more. He was 15! Old enough to say what he wanted. Not allowed to say bad words were kid stuff. Why were they so afraid of saying words? Parents telling them probably a monster would come to get them if they said them... Heck, he never believed that. Once he found out that there was no monster. No wait.. He WAS the monster, and no monster would come as long as he was there. The only monster that showed when he did something he was told not to do was himself. Even monsters cowered in front of him.

He sighed. He should have never gone camping with his father. Thought it would be fun and convinced his dad to go... Should have never gone! Suddenly, he found himself drifting into that memory as well. That one, simple camping trip...

"Camping is fun!" came a small voice from a young Remus happily as he walked around with his father, inspecting the tent that they had worked so hard on to set up. The temperature was warm and comfortable. The sky was an orange hot pink as the sun was setting. The noises of geese honked above as they headed in their flock to land for the night.

"Huh Daddy? Isn't it fun!" he repeated, excitement and happiness in the young ones eyes as he stared up at his brave father with happiness and confidence.

"Yes Rem. Nice to get outside once in a while in the fresh air." He smiled and watched his son scurrying around playing with fastnating bugs and creatures that loomed out in the wilderness, that his boy had never laid eyes on before.

Remus let out a gasp in pain as a mosquito bit his arm and he swatted it and looked proud at his victory of killing a bug, but fear was in his eyes as he looked around the dark scenery.

"Its getting dark Daddy" he whimpered looking around in the dark.

"Yes it is" his father sighed and pulled out his wand form his pocket "We should light a fire" Pointing his wand at a large pile of sticks, he muttered a few words, and flames shot out of his wand easily and spread upon the fire with ease. Remus watched in awe at his father working magic with his elegant looking wand that shot out the flames so easily.

"Will I ever have a wand dad?" he asked not taking his eyes off the wand. His father laughed and looked down at his son proudly.

"If you don't, I'm a flobberworm!" his father laughed. Remus looked a bit confused at this, but laughed because his father did. He then got the guts to ask.

"What 'is' a flobberworm?" he asked sheepishly. His father, who was watching the wonderful sky change form an orange to a pink color turned back to his son and smiled that he did not know some of the wizarding things yet.

"Oh, Rem. Its just a magical creature... although I don't see why its considered 'magical' seeing that it has nothing that's special in that way" he sighed "Well, you know what a worm if of course" he said. Remus nodded "That's all you need to know" his father laughed and tended the fire once more.

Remus still confused just shook it off and asked "What other creatures like a flurberworm are there?" he asked saying flobberworm wrong and with great difficulty. His father took the question and thought a while.

"Many many son... I cannot name them all. But I can tell you some. Well, Hippogriffs, Grydilows, Hinkypunks... Griffins, Blast Ended Screwits... Werewolves—"

"Werewolves?" interrupted Remus "What are they like?" he asked now sitting down getting tired of standing.

"Oh... very dangerous they are. They live off the human, live inside their mind; it's like sharing your self with an animal. They are heard and seen to kill everything they see. No feelings, like a wolf, but are not afraid of any thing that could seem a threat to it so just goes and attacks. But they only come out of the human on full moons, and the human stays inside its body... on regular days, the people... Are just plain people... it must be depressing for them though. I can almost imagine..." his father trailed off in sympathy. Remus though seemed rather impressed.

"They sound pretty cool!" he cried in excitement. His father gave him a glare with a look of knowledge that Remus had not learned yet.

"You may think so son. But we don't know, seeing we are not in their shoes, and we can only pray we do not end up in their shoes... "He said looking rather sad. Remus though didn't pay attention.

"Hey, dad. Isn't tonight a full moon? I hope we can see one!" he said happily. His father choked on a drink he was taking a sip on and spat it out.

"Bloody hel—heck" he corrected about being in front of a little one "Don't say that! You see one tonight, chances of us living are slim! Don't go off making wishes you have no idea what the consequences may be. Wishing for a werewolf is like having a vampire for a sleep over." His father said rather annoyed and fearful that his son had brought the full moon up.

"Merlin's beard! Look at the time! Bed time for you Rem!" he said and with a grunt got up and took his sons hand to drag him in the tent with him. The sun finally set and the moon began to rise as father and sun disappeared into their tent, and you could have sworn you heard a small voice mumble

"Aw man..." and every thing began quiet and got dark as the lantern in the tent that kept it looking a glowing yellow turned off, and all went quiet except for the lullaby of the crickets and the wind...

Tears in his eyes, he snapped away form he painful memory inside his head that was jerking tears. He sighed and holding his head, sank down the trunk of the tree to a sitting stance against the tree, covering his head in confusion. It was till dark outside, and the moon still shown over him. As he looked up, he stared at the moon. His pupils f the eyes shrank as he stared at the light. He was surprised at this. This was the longest he'd stared at the moon with no fear or flinching. The silvery color almost hypnotized his beast side to run off and eat the bird not to far away, so quickly jerked his head back down seeing that staring at the moon wasn't such a good idea. He looked around. There was still some snow lying on the ground near him. He stuck his hand in a small pile of melting snow and shivered as the coldness traveled up his spine. Suddenly, feeling horrible from his wolf wanting to kill, and nausea rising in his chest and his sick pale colored face looked sicker and more tired as deep-circled eyes widened in coking back the nausea rising up his throat. He quickly dug his hand in the snow to stuff it in his mouth, and crunch it with a few coughs, the sting of ice hurting his teeth and throat, and swallowed it. It made his sick feeling better, and it quenched his thirst. He gulped it down and his throat felt sore, but he didn't care anymore. He didn't care what he felt; he didn't care about anything anymore.

((What do you think? Er, may not be that good. I'll put up the next chapter. I have a few done. Please review, thanks!

From,

Fluffy ))