The Mystery of the Missing Cookie

"LOIS!" Peter screamed from downstairs, "Hurry up! We're gonna be late for dinner with your family. You know how I get around your father. I want to make a good impression. Your father detests me. Wait did I just use a big word? Holy crap! He's taken over my body!"

"Now Peter, I'm sure it'll be ok. It will just take some time between you and him." supported Lois as she cam down the stairs.

"Remember how it went last time we had dinner together?"

"Peter! I see you have forgotten to tie your tie."

"Sorry Mr. Peuttershmit. Lois must have undone when we were making out on the way here. Oops."

"Peter!" scolded Lois.

"I have to make a wee-wee." Peter told the family. He slowly backed up and went through the emergency exit.

"Now Peter it's alright. Why don't you have a cookie before we go? I'll get my shoes on while you go get it."

"Ok"

Peter walked into the kitchen and stopped. He narrowed his eyes on the cookie jar. He knew there was something wrong. Slowly he made his way towards the jar. He halted and looked at it. "There's something wrong with this jar. I must look inside!!"

Unwind "HOLY CRAP! My cookie is gone!" (Peter's eyes narrow on the hanging portraits if his 3 kids in the hall.) He thought to himself could it be that "innocent" one, Meg? Or was it the clever but never show it, Chris. Or the little baby, Stewie. (He thought that in a "soft" voice.)

"Someone has stolen my cookie Lois! We can't leave until I find out who did it

(Dum, dum, dum!!! Plays in the background)."

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Peter gets the kids all in a line standing under their portraits. "Now kids. Someone has stolen my LAST, I repeat LAST cookie. I must have that cookie back or one of you WILL be punished" Peter exclaimed while pacing back and forth.

"Oh my god. What is wrong with my family? It's just a cookie, dad. You can go to the store and get a new pack. Don't waste my time with your problems! I am trying to get a life right now. Leave me alone!!!Tear" Meg cried, as she ran up the stairs.

"She has got serious problems." Stewie said.

"Now that it is down to the 2 of you, I must check your rooms."

"But dad, there's an evil monkey living in my closet. I don't think he would be too happy if you disturbed him." Chris pointed out.

"Now Chris, there is no evil monkey in your closet, alright?" Peter bended down to tell Chris that.

"I'm telling you there is."

Chris looks up at the top of the staircase and the evil monkey points down at him.

"Chris, go to your room." Lois told Chris.

"Hey, Stewie. Did you steal daddy's cookie? Hmm? Did you take daddy's coo-kie?"

"Silence fool!(Stewie slaps Peter with his bear)I don't want to get fat like you! Why would I steal a cookie?"

Stewie runs upstairs.

"Lois call your parents and cancel the dinner. This may take a while. I'm gonna need beer. Lots of it." demanded Peter, "I'm gonna talk to Brian."

"Ok, Peter. Do you want me to run to the store to get you some more cookies?"

"NEVER! I will not eat another cookie until I found out who did this."

"Ok, it's up to you, honey."

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Next Day

"Hey, Brian. Do you know anything about a cookie of mine? My last cookie was stolen and the kids say nothing."

"Well, Peter. Maybe you ate it and don't remember. When was the last time you got drunk?"

"Ummmm. I don't really keep track of these things. I think it was last week when I was at that disco.

Peter remembers a disco.

"Peter, that was in the 70s." Brian pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, right. Then I have no idea.

"Seems to me, Peter, that it wasn't one of your family members. Ask the guys if they took it. You never know."

Brian got up and took his Piña Colada to the kitchen. Peter sat there until he realized he was supposed to think.

"I gotta call the guys and ask them."

"Hello Peter. Loretta made me clean up the family room just now. It was a tiring job. What can I do for you?" Clevland said as he put the phone to his ear."

"Hey, Clevland. Did you take my cookie from the cookie jar?"

"Why no Peter. I've been trying to cut down on that kinda junk. Loretta says we can't sleep together anymore if I get any fatter."

"Ok. Well, do you know if anyone did?"

"Sorry but no. Call Joe and see if he knows something."

"Thanks Clevland."

Hang Up

"Hi Peter." Joe quickly whispered to Peter.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Bonnie has a migraine and if I talk loud she'll start yelling."

"Oh. Yaaaa. Well I was wondering of you know who took my last cookie. I went to get it and it wasn't there. Did you take it?"

"Of course not, Peter! Didn't I tell you I can't have chocolate chip cookies?"

"No."

"Oh well I have to go! Bonnie is waking up!"

Hang up

Peter turns around and sees someone putting a cookie back in his jar. He recognized the figure! GASP!

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"Quagmire? Holy Crap! You stole my cookie?"

"He he. Yes I stole your cookie.I was hingry last week when I was over. I took it., but here's an even better one."

"Thanks. But all you had to do was ask me. I would've given you a better one. I have a whole pile of 'em in the basement. God! People these days!"

"Gotta go! So long Peter!"

Quagmire jumped into the window and stuck his hand out like spider man. He shot out a web and swung back to his house.

"Peter?" Lois called. "Is everything alright in there?"

"Quagmire is spider man! And he took my cookie!"

Peter went to the window and yelled "I'll get you for this spider man!"

Then all of a sudden 8 mechanic legs came out of Peter's back, and he pulled out a pair of circular sun glasses.

THE END!

Author's note: About the ending, only people who have seen Spider Man 2 would get it. The italic section is a previous occasion that I made up!! And not that you care..but I LOVE COME MCCASLIN OF SUM 41!!!!AND I LOVE SUM 41!!!!