Bean stared at the display again. The screen was full of red and green blinking dots. Day after day, in front of the screen, just waiting. Waiting. But no more.
They had found him, finally they had found him. Bean almost cried out but caught himself. No need for displays of emotion, now. Rationally, he didn't understand why he had left his new family to look for a phantom of his memory. He knew though, he knew it was right, he knew that he needed this. Maybe he could cure the disease that had plagued him for years now.
At first, he didn't understand. It didn't go away like pains usually did when he wanted them to. He sat down, and tried to seal the pain in a box, like everything else. He tried to work it out, tried to see it through, he tried everything he could try. Despite all his efforts, nothing worked. Bean was not at all used to not being in control. Control over himself was the only thing he ever had that others didn't. It was his last line of defense, and nothing could breach it. Apparently though, someone could. And that someone was only about twenty minutes away.
Ender caught himself dozing off to the steady beeping of the ships' equipment. Ever since the war, he'd had trouble staying awake for long periods of time. It was as if his brain wanted to shut down, wanted to keep the guilt and the grief at bay by making him sleep.
Ender slumped in his chair. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't know why. All he knew was that he needed to get away from Eros desperately. For a year now, he had been floating aimlessly in space, trying to make sense of the guilt, grief, and loss he felt. He was completely alone with his thoughts. Ender's mind was a dangerous place to wander in alone.
A red light on the screen caught his attention. There was a small ship nearby, only about five minutes off. He immediately began considering all the possibilities, trying to figure out what was going on. No one went this deep into space. There was no reason to be out here. Yet there it was, the little ship that could. Ender called to the other ship on the radio.
"Hello. What brings you out here?"
"Ho, Ender."
"Ho, Bean"
"Can I board you?"
"Sure Bean"