Hello! Welcome to my totally not good Nightmare Before Christmas Fic Thingy.
Don't expect the following:
-a good fanfic
-a understandable story
-sense
-goodness within content
-sane people
-good clean living people
-stuff I can't remember right now
-proper grammar or spelling
Ok! Here we go. I own NOTHING that is owned by Tim Burton (hail Burton man). I only own the people I imagined in the random space between my ears. ..... They told me to!!! Well, here goes nothing.
Takes a deep breath, holds nose, and takes a dive. SPLASH! WHOOSH! PINK BELLY! OUCH!
Once upon a thing and a um uh long whats it ago, two brave intelligent heroes were doing something or other and well, ....... um ...... He he. I'm not going to lie to you. They hired me as a narrator on the spot and I have no clue what's going on. He he he he. Anyway, I'm just totally wasted, man. I have no idea what this story's about. Oh look! A bunny on a tricycle with little doggies attached to the wheels.
THE REAL AUTHOR: Ok that's enough! You! Get your wasted ass out of here.
Fake Person: Fine dude. I'm gonna go follow that pig with the sideburns. You know, the one over there who's dancing to the tune of Aqua's Barbie Girl.
REAL AUTHOR: Fine you do that. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to do this myself. Stupid wasted monkey. I curse thee. Curse thee to the depths of places with fire and crap like that!
Fake Person: Whatever! Here piggy piggy piggy! Oink! Oink! Oink! I'm a Barbie Girl in my Barbie World! Woohoo!
AUTHOR/ NARRATOR: Her we go again. There will hopefully be no more interruptions.
Scene: The two heroines of our story are arriving at the front porch of a house with loud music and lights flashing everywhere and weird looking slime coming out of the windows.
Jo^2 (Pronounced Jo squared) - Here we are at Kelly Peeper's party. She has the best parties in the like whatever world.
Sara - Jo^2, I know. I know that already. I know that now. I knew that when you told me in school, on the bus, and five minutes ago. Ok. I KNOW!!! Sheesh.
Jo^2 - (knocks on door) Hellos! Peoples needs to open the door. SO, we can come in and join the greatest party in like whatever world. C'mon. Let us in. Please.
Door opens and Kelly Peeper is in the doorway and welcomes our heroines.
Kelly - (In a snobby type voice) Welcome. Welcome, Darling! To the best party evah!
Sara- Don't you mean "ever"?
Kelly - No, Darling. Evah. (Waves hand in a magician sort of way) Come in. Come in.
Sara and Jo^2 enter.
Jo^2 - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! What the Hell is going on here?
Sara - I don't know! It seems that ..... things are ..... duller than dirt.
Tis true. Our heroines stumble into a room with snobbish people sitting on couches and regular people listening to their evil demented tales of their trips to Mount whatever or to the great ding dong sea.
Jo^2 - But wha about the lights, the music, the cool lookin slime?
Kelly - Sorry, Darling, that's coming from next door. Those rapscallions have strobe lights and a stereo with huge loud speakers. My gosh, they know how to ruin everything.
Sara - And the slime?
Kelly - Oh. That's us, Darling. It seems that my little dog, Puffie, is a little sick.
Sara and everyone else in the room - Eeeeeeeeew!!! Gross out!!
Kelly - Anyway, I'm so glad you could make it, Darling. Let me tell you about my trip to Mount Whatever, Darling. Greatest and most expensive place to visit, Darling. Oh and The Beautiful Great Ding Dong Sea, Darling. Second most expensive place. Come. Come. Listen to me, DARLING.
Suddenly, Jo^2 comes out of nowhere and tackles Kelly Peeper to the ground and begins to hit her with a big fat floppy fish.
Jo^2 - Don't (Slap) ever (Slap) say (Slap) Darling ( Slap) Again (Slap)! I (Slap) hate (Slap) you (Slap) so (Slap) much (Slap)! This (Slap) is (Slap) Fun! (Slap) (Slappity Slap Slap Slap)
Jo^2 finally slaps Kelly unconscious and the party is left unattended.
Sara and the party guest all staring at Jo^2 - SILENCE .......
Jo^2 stuffs the fish into Kelly's mouth, stands up, and looks at everyone.
Jo^2 - (In a calm voice) As the knocker outer person of Kelly Peeper, I propose this .......
Everyone - SILENCE
Jo^2 - NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS PARTY! Bang bang!!!
Everyone - Woo hoo
And the party of Nightmare Before Christmas was to come. Kelly and her snobby friends were locked in the closet with Kelly's puking dog and fish in their mouths. Jo^2 and Sara made a quick trip to the store and bought every copy of Nightmare Before Christmas including the Spanish and French Version. They also brought sacks of goodies such as candy, marshmallows, and other junky foods that would melt the delicate brains of the teenagers into mush. And so they lived happily ever after.....
Sara - Hey wait a minute!!!!!
Author/Narrator - Huh? What in the what, now?
Jo^2 - It's not over yet!! What about the stuff that happens?
Author/ Narrator - Stuff?
Sara - Yes, you know. The "STUFF"! (wink)
Author/Narrator - Oh right! The ... "stuff" Sorry people! The thing isn't over yet.
People in the theater moan and groan and sit back down in their seats.
Sara - Hey shutup! You people of disgusting nature!! Curse thee. CURSE THEE!!! Please continue, Author slash Narrator
Author/Narrator - Thank you. So, anyway, the party began and went off with or without a hitch.
Jo^2 - (singing to herself) Dia de Los Muertos! Dia de los Muertos! La la la la la la la! (Imitating Jack) Es correcto! Yo soy el rey de calabaza! Mwa ha ha ha ha! (Literal Translation - Day of the Dead! Day of the Dead! La la la la la la la! Is correct! I am the king of pumpkin! Mwa ha ha ha ha)
Sara - Jo^2, can you please stop singing in Spanish? It's really annoying!
Jo^2 - I'm sorry, Sarabella! But you can not silence el Josefina de dos!!!
Suddenly, Frida (a normal girl who came to the party and knows Jo^2 and Sara fairly well) appears out of nowhere.
Frida - I have a suggestion.
Jo^2 - Bwah! Dude, you just like came out of nowhere, man. You scared me.
Sara - What do you suggest?
Frida - I want to watch the English version. Please.
Sara - She's right, Jo^2. Seeing the English version wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Jo^2 - But ... but ... La Calabaza! La Calabaza!!! (But ... but ... The Pumpkin! The Pumkin!)
Sara - Tough noogies, Jo^2! We're watching the English version! (Pops tape into VCR)
Jo^2 - (Runs up and plops right in front of the screen) Yay Goodies!!! (Yay Goo ....) THEY KNOW WHAT "YAY GOODIES!" MEANS, STUPID!!
The video starts up and the party guest moan as yet another version of "This Is Halloween" blasts from the tv speakers.
Approximately 76 Minutes and three bowls of cheese doodles ..... mmmmmmmmmm.....cheese doodles ....... LATER
Everyone except Jo^2, Sara, and Frida - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (sleepy sleepy sleep)
Jo^2 - This is Halloween! This is Halloween! La la la la la la That's right!!! I am the Pumpkin King. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!
Sara - I'm going to marry Jack! I'm going to marry Jack! I'm going to marry Jack!!
Jo^2 - You do that!
Sara - Wasn't it cool when Jack kicked Oogie's bug filled ass? Woo hoo!!
Jo^2 - It was kick ass awesome!!!
Frida stands up and points to them both.
Frida - How dare you side with the tall and boney one!! Oogie Boogie will rise again!! I promise you!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Frida sprints out the door and into the night.
Sara - Ok! That's odd. I know who's graduating next year!
Jo^2 - Yeah. YAWN Yeah.
Frida sticks her head in the doorway.
Frida - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...
Jo^2 and Sara in unison - Oogies' comin back. We know. We know.
Frida finally leaves, again and our heroines are left alone in a room full of sleeping dead beets.
Sara - Jo^2, my mentally challenged friend, I propose we go home and fall into a deep and peaceful slumber.
Jo^2 - Sleep YAWN good!
Tired and heads filled with Halloween fantasies, our heroines make their way out the door and along the roads to get home.
Jo^2 - (singing Sally's hit song) What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us, then?
Sara - Jo^2, it's bad enough you're singing and giving me a total head ache, but you have the nerve to sing the song of my arch nemesis. Sally. The evil stealer of Jack.
Jo^2 - Oh Sara! Why can't you just get over it? Jack and Sally are in love.
Sara - I still think Sally brainwashed him!!!
Jo^2 - Build yourself a bridge and get over it!!
Sara - Harumph!!
As our heroines argue, they fail to notice the truck speeding towards them with a blaring horn and the maniac Frida in the driver seat.
Frida - I'll show you who's ass is gonna get kicked!!
Sara and Jo^2 - (finally notice truck) Oh shit!
The truck collides with our heroes and spreads their internal organs all over the road with blood and flesh and gore and ...
Jo^2 and Sara - (Lifts head up) They get the picture!! (Lay back down)
Fine!! Anyway, Frida was also knocked out. Where will this lead our heroines? Are they really ... GULP ... gone? .................... Oh wait they're right over there.
Well, kiddies, until next week. This has been a Person Person Personia Production with People. If you would like to contact me and ask questions or give comments, please leave a review. It is greatly appreciated. Well, I must be going now. I've gotta scrape dead Jo^2 and Sara parts off of the road. Eeeeeeew. Stupid pick up your own story trash law. Curse them! CURSE THEM!!!!
Bye bye!!