DISCLAIMER: Trigun and its characters belong to Yasuhiro Nightow.
It Takes Two
Milly was headed downstairs for some tea when she saw Wolfwood outside Meryl's room. "What are you doing, Mr. Wolfwood?"
Wolfwood shushed her and waved her over, his ear pressed to Meryl's door. Milly came over and heard a crash inside the room.
"Oh, no, I'd better go see if Meryl's hurt!" she exclaimed.
Wolfwood laid a hand on her, snickering. "Just take a listen. I don't think those are sounds of pain."
Milly put her ear up to the wood to hear what Wolfwood was talking about.
"Damnit, Vash, I told you, not that way. Do it this way!"
"I am!" Vash hollered back. "Just the way you showed me!"
Sounds of grunting followed, and then Meryl screamed, "OW! Not like that, you moron! It doesn't fit that way! I thought you said you had experience with this."
"I do have experience, it's just been a while. Not since – actually, I can't remember the last time."
Wolfwood clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from guffawing.
"Never mind," Meryl said. "Here, we'll try it this way. You get over here, and I'll get right here – no, get your hand away from there! Put it over there – right, and – crap, push that back in, will you? Ok, and – go!"
More grunting and impolite language followed.
"Damnit!" Vash swore. "Look, maybe if you just get on top and let me do all the work –"
WHAP! "Who the hell do you think is in charge here? My room, my bed, we're doing this my way!"
"Ooh," chuckled Wolfwood. "That sounded like it hurt."
"What are they doing in there?" Milly wondered.
Wolfwood couldn't help snickering again. "I think I've got an idea or two."
Another crash sounded, along with breaking glass, followed by Meryl's angry voice. "I told you before to quit kicking the dresser. Now you've broken my mirror!"
"It's not my fault," Vash protested. "If you would do it the way I wanted to in the first place –"
WHAP!
"You just finished saying you can't remember the last time you've done this. Clearly, I'm much more experienced than you, so just shut up and do as I tell you!"
"But maybe if we switched and you just got on the other end –"
"Doing it that way hurts my butt, you broom-head!"
Milly looked worried; Wolfwood actually had to bite his shirt sleeve to keep from laughing.
"Here, try this," Vash said. "I think if we do this, it'll fit."
"Crap, you're right! Finally, you're good for something. Now, push!"
Vash grunted. "Jeez, this could throw my back out."
"Don't stop now!" Meryl screamed at him. "You just got started! Harder, damnit!"
"I'm going as hard as I can, for crying out loud! I'm only one man!"
Meryl's voice grew more excited. "I think – yeah, that's it – you've almost got it – a little more, don't stop – RIGHT THERE! YES!"
A squeal of ecstatic joy sounded, followed by the sound of furniture collapsing.
"Vash, you idiot! You just broke my bed! Now what good is having it by the window going to do me?"
The door opened, and Vash came running out, bowling Wolfwood out of the way, yelling in terror.
Meryl was hot on his heels, throwing every object at him that wasn't nailed down.
"This is the last time I ask you to help rearrange my furniture, Vash the Stampede!"