Regina centric (Regina/Emma): And never believe i do this for you, and never believe I won't turn on you
A/N: For my Beta and her amazingness. She makes magic everytime she touches my writing.
Disclaimer: Not my sandbox.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me?"
All faces around the table looked sombre. It was a funny thing, regret. It was ugly and awkward, lodging itself in your chest with nowhere to escape. It was sickening.
Emma felt like laughing, because it was all so gloriously fucked up. Her eyes landed on Archie again. Poor sweet Archie, whose mind was probably lost. The Blue Fairy and Dr Whale had talked at depth, but all she heard were passages. Damage too extensive. Endured for too long. Months of recovery, if at all.
But there had been one thing, if only that. Archie in his mutterings. One word that had sent a dark chill around the room. Everyone freezing immediately.
Cora.
He'd repeated it over and over and over.
At that point, it was all fairly obvious. Pieces clicked into place and she wondered how they had all been so blind. But it was so easy for these people to fall back into old habits, and so convenient to blame the Evil Queen. She couldn't believe she'd let herself get sucked into it, when everything in this world could be so blatantly manipulated. Her throat tightened, and she didn't possibly know how to undo this. She probably couldn't. Words had been said, ruthless, unapologetic words, which had done untold damage.
For all they knew, Regina was shacked up with Cora now, after they had all but pushed her there.
"Dammit!" Emma growled, slamming her fists down on the table.
The Mayor Mansion looked all out of sorts. Its towering sleek lines at odds with the forest around it. But somehow it felt like it was growing into its new location. Tree branches and vines reaching out to it, wrapping around pillars and welcoming this new foreign addition with open arms.
Emma remembered the day someone had come running into the diner, shouting about the Mansion being gone. Just a big empty square block where it once stood, and she remembered being so relieved. Thinking well hell, maybe Regina had finally given up. Maybe she had finally gotten the message that she wasn't welcome and had gotten the hell out of dodge.
God, that had been months ago. Months for Regina to sit in her self imposed exile and do what exactly? She wondered about the possibility that Cora would be lurking around; wouldn't this be something that Cora would feed off, Regina beat down and broken?
It was a risk, she thought, pushing open the door. A huge risk. But she needed to fix this somehow. Needed to mend it. When she remembered the look on Henry's face at her words, his whispered 'we didn't believe her', it had broke her heart. She had promised Henry she would look out for Regina, and she'd failed. Failed grievously.
"Regina?" She called out, her name echoing off the walls. Emma waited, listening for any sound of movement. Nothing. The silence lay dead around the house. She stepped forward warily, her ears straining for sound. For anything.
And then she felt it. It vibrated through her, made her fingertips tingle. Magic. It was here, it was in the house. It drew her in, pulled her forward like a moth to a flame. She moved through the house with no destination in mind, just the draw of an invisible trail. It pushed her to the back of the house, a soft glow coming from the bottom of one of the closed doors.
Regina.
The magic felt thick in the air, it pulsed through the walls and made her body tense, fingers flexing automatically. She pushed the door open. The glow of light came from the fireplace. Fire dancing brightly, bouncing shadows off the walls. It was the only light in the room, but it was enough to spot Regina.
Fuck. It was worse than she possibly thought. She suddenly she felt so out of her depth.
The older woman was sitting off to the side of the fireplace. The large chair she was seated in almost swallowed her, and Emma couldn't remember anything like that in the Mansion before. Regina sat poised as ever, a glass in one hand and the other resting on the arm of the chair, her fingertips dangling over the edge.
Magic was everywhere.
The purple haze was twisting through her fingertips and crawling along her arms. Emma watched, half fascinated, half terrified. Regina was quite literately radiated magic. It slipped over her and surrounded her, hovering like some sort of dark entity.
She looked like every story she'd ever heard. Undoubtedly more 'The Evil Queen' than she had ever seen. But there was something... off. Through the purple clouds she could see green sparks, like miniature lightening strikes bursting from Regina's fingers at random moments. It was almost beautiful, the way the colours merged together, flickering and floating as one.
"Miss Swan. This is an unexpected surprise."
Emma flinched, her eyes snapping onto Regina's profile. She couldn't see the woman properly from here and even though every instinct in her told her to run, she moved further into the room.
"Yeah, well. You never left your new forwarding address. Kinda tricky to find you." The words rolled off her tongue. Sarcasm was easy. It was reflex when it came to Regina and she hoped Regina would find comfort in the familiarity of the words. In the banter. It was what they did, it was what they had been doing ever since Emma had turned up in Storybrooke.
"Ahh," Regina clicked her tongue, "I didn't think that anyone would want to find me."
Emma stopped then, just on the edge of the purple mist. She moved around to her left and took up the seat across from Regina. The magic crawled across the floor towards her and she wondered for a moment if it had a mind of its own, or subconsciously it was Regina reaching out to her.
Emma studied the woman carefully. As usual the dark haired woman gave nothing away; her eyes were locked on the flickering flames and in the darkness of the room, Regina's eyes almost looked black. She lifted the glass to her lips, and Emma followed the line of her forearm, taking in the dark fabric covering it. Her eyes drifted over her body then, the dress she was wearing completely foreign to her, and instantly she knew it wasn't from this world. The collar sat high against the brunette's throat, then dipped into a low plunging neckline that Emma wasn't used to seeing on the former Queen. It automatically drew her eyes downward and for the first time she understood how completely seductive Regina could be, without even trying.
"What's with the get up?" She asked drawing her eyes back up, nodding towards the dress.
Regina still didn't look at her, and her free hand lifted to run across the material clinging to her frame. The cloud of purple seemed to shift with her movements before settling against the brunette again. The smile that curled on her lips was dangerous and comforting at the same time.
"I wanted to feel more comfortable," She paused, "But enough of that. Come to get me for my execution?"
Emma watched her carefully, Regina's tone holding a sense of finality. Like that's what she'd been waiting for this whole time. The regret swirled in her gut again. Sharp and twisted, and she couldn't help but sigh Regina's name.
That got the dark haired woman's attention, her eyes finally falling on Emma and her lips curled into a knowing smile, snarling slightly at the younger woman and then she laughed. Cackled like the evil witch everyone remembered her being, and Emma's eyes where once again drawn to the green flicker at Regina's fingertips.
"So you finally discovered Storybrookes not so recent arrival." Regina spoke, her tone gleefully dark.
It made the hackles stand up on the back of Emma's neck and instantly made her defensive and tense.
"So why aren't you out there running around with Team Cora?" She snapped.
All humour disappeared from Regina's eyes, and they glinted dangerously.
"What makes you think I'm not?" She retorted, and for the first time it really hit Emma who she was sitting in the dark talking too. The Evil Queen suddenly seemed looming and the magic around her stirred restlessly. But there was something else there too. Something Emma refused to turn from again.
Goodness.
It was there, she could feel it. Everything here and now was an act. Regina was like a wounded animal and they'd backed her into a corner. Threatened her into reaction. How the hell had they expected her to act? Of course she was always going to come out swinging. Because Regina never backed down from a fight. Emma briefly wondered if she even knew how. But now...With all the threat it projected, it felt empty. Like Regina was just giving the blonde the show she thought Emma expected. Going through the motions.
"I can feel it." Emma said back quietly.
For an instant Regina's face softened, and something like relief passed over her features. Like she couldn't dare to believe. But then it was gone and she turned back to the fire, looking disgusted by the words.
"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my Mother, Miss Swan. " Her voice was hard and unwavering, "Whatever you're up to, I want no part in it. So get the hell out."
Emma's eyebrows lifted in surprise, and for the first time since she'd entered the house she felt a sense of hope. If Regina had turned Cora away, maybe there was a chance she hadn't completely fallen off the band wagon after all. The hope spread through her chest like wildfire and got the better of her. The words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them, running wild with the possibilities.
"Regina, you turned Cora away? Come back with me. We can fix this. Henry would want-"
"No!" Regina snarled loudly. The glass in her hand slammed down against the armrest of her chair, exploding; cracking and splitting in Regina's hand as her fingertips sparked brightly. The green streaks skipped across the broken glass erratically. The sound was so jarring and unexpected in the quiet room that Emma jumped. "You do not mention his name." Regina finished in a low threatening growl that Emma had no trouble in believing.
Henry.
It would always come back to Henry. Emma had taken the one thing keeping her grounded to this world and if Emma had learnt anything while facing Cora in Fairy Tale Land, it was that Regina was the complete opposite of her mother. Cora wanted power, and that would always be the centre of her wickedness. Regina had obtained hers through unhinged emotion. All her actions had been driven through raw emotion that she just hadn't been able to control. Although it wasn't an excuse for her evilness and everything she'd done, it was proof enough for Emma to believe Regina could still find salvation.
And Henry was the key to it all.
She just had to get a way to make Regina see that, without the brunette tearing apart the house. It was fast becoming apparent to the blonde how unstable Regina was, and she itched to know why the other woman hadn't already gone screaming through Storybrooke bringing the wrath of God with her. So she decided to try another approach.
"Regina, what's going on with you and the light show?"
The unexpected question drew the older woman's eyes down to her own fingertips. The green glinted so dazzlingly in the dark and Regina seemed to take a moment to collect herself. Her eyes closed on an extended blink and she seemed to force herself into slow measured breaths. The sparks slowly died and then faded completely, like her outburst had never happened.
Regina slowly turned to look back at her, that all knowing smirk plastered across her face.
"You didn't really think there wouldn't be consequences from removing the magic from the well when you and Snow came through it, did you?" Regina's voice was sickly sweet, and slightly condescending. Reminding Emma once again that she barely knew anything about their world and the magic that came from it.
"It would seem," Regina continued conversationally, "That I'm still having a slight reaction to all that fairy dust."
In that moment it hit Emma how badly she had failed Regina. She hadn't even thought to ask about how Regina how saved their lives coming back through that portal. She had Henry in her arms and they were back and she'd escaped with her heart intact. So she didn't ask, the how's and the why's of it all because it hadn't matter to her in that moment.
"Jesus Christ Regina, why didn't you say anything?" She asked, her voice desperate and panicky. She felt sick with guilt. Regina had saved their lives, absorbed enough magic to power a small country, and what? They'd just sent her off, shunned her and taken her child. Fuck. What made it worse was that Henry had been adamant that Regina wasn't using magic at the time, had gone cold turkey to prove her love to her boy. Emma wondered if to Regina, it had felt like overdosing.
Regina stayed silent, and the blonde watched her fingers flex and shift.
"We could have helped you." She added softly.
The brunette scoffed at her, laughing to herself like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.
"I would have." Emma confessed, because she liked to think she would have, and deep down in her, deep down somewhere inside of her where she doesn't like to look, she was a little hurt that Regina didn't think she couldn't come to her and ask for help. But she understood. Understood with every fibre of her being why Regina didn't ask for help.
The brunette looked back over at her then and she can see it in her eyes, the affect her words were having on the older woman. Her face was still contorted in a scowl, but her eyes - Regina's eyes that held the secrets of the world if you dared to look- were conflicted. They were hopeful; simmering with the will to believe that Emma's words were truthful. But all Regina had even known was pain. She had no reason to believe.
Without thought, Emma reached across the space between them, and grasped Regina's fingers in her own. She didn't let herself ponder the strange tingling that encompassed her hand, because she wanted to hammer home her point while she had Regina's full attention.
"Henry and I would have."
Instantly she realises it was the wrong thing to say.
Regina erupted from her chair, fingers slipping from Emma's grip. The magic around the brunette reacting violently to the sudden change in her demeanour. Before Emma can even begin to panic she's pushed from her chair and sent flying backwards into the far wall. She hits it so hard the breath is knocked from her lungs and she gasps at the contact. Emma's not surprised when she doesn't hit the ground. She just hovers, suspended against the wall, her arms pinned at her side. It's not painful, or suffocating. She's just being held there firmly as Regina advances on her.
Regina is a flurry of magic and anger, fairy dust igniting from her finger tips and Emma realises then in such clarity how easily Regina could kill her. How easily she could have killed everyone since she got her powers back. No prophecy or sword was going to save her against this. The Saviour bullshit meant fuck all now, and once again it was a stinging reminder of how hard this woman had clearly been trying to change.
"You just don't know how to quit, do you Miss Swan?" Regina all but hissed.
Emma doesn't have time to think up a witty retort, because Regina is on her and against her, the former Queen's hand slamming alongside the space next to her head. Bright sparks explode and in any other situation Emma might even call it pretty, but right now all she can feel is dread and panic. Regina is unhinged and so very close to her, so close she can feel the magic, the fury, it rolls off the dark haired woman in waves. When Regina moves her hand back she can see the cracks in the plaster and black scorch marks. Fuck, what the hell was in that fairy dust? Emma had to wonder how much Regina is holding back, because she is yet to take a face full of the stuff. Yet.
But she doesn't have time to ask that question, because Regina's eyes are focused solely on one thing.
Emma's chest.
"Regina." Emma began to beg. But Regina isn't listening; her eyes are fixated in an almost trance-like way.
"It will be so easy." She whispered gently, her voice alight with wonder. So, wow, the blonde thinks, this is actually happening. Regina is about to pull her heart out of her fucking chest and there isn't a damn thing she can do about it. She hopes beyond hope that whatever kept her heart in her chest when Cora tried it in Fairy Tale Land kicks in again.
Regina doesn't rush, like she's taking extra delight in this, savouring and drawing the moment out. The brunette's body pressed flush along Emma's side as she slowly pushes her fingers into Emma's chest. Emma expects pain. Cold searing pain, exactly like the first time Cora had done this to her.
But in reality she feels warmth. Her chest tingles, and she feels Regina's fingers touch her beating heart. They slide around the organ, and the sensation of the fairy dust sparking from Regina's fingers is the most bizarre thing she's ever felt. It feels good, like maybe she should be literally glowing. Her chest tickles, and itches and she has to look down at Regina's arm to see if this is actually happening, because it feels like so much more than death.
Regina suddenly sucks in a deep breath, pulling Emma's attention back to her face. Her eyes are closed, a deep look of concentration on the brunettes face as she touches Emma's heart. She doesn't grab though. When Cora had done this, the woman had instantly wrapped her fingers around her heart and pulled. But Regina, it feels like she's looking for something. Her fingers touching, and tracing, cradling Emma's heart in her hand.
Then she pulls back abruptly.
Regina stumbles, looking absolutely stunned. Holding her hand out in front of her body as if she'd just caught some kind of disease from Emma, like that maybe if she looked hard enough she'd see it.
Emma wants to mutter an indifferent, 'well hey, you put your hand in there.' But it doesn't make it past her lips because Regina is staring at her, so intensely that Emma thinks Regina's going to come back at her for round two. Except she doesn't, she just stands there staring, until her eyes fall back to her hand. That's when Emma notices it. Regina's fingers, they're still. No sparks. No green glow. No fairy dust. Regina wiggles her fingers. Staring. And that's when Emma gets it. She's waiting for something to happen.
Seconds tick by and nothing does.
Suddenly Emma feels the hold on her vanish and she drops to the ground with barely enough time to put her hands out to stop the fall. When she feels steady on her feet, she pushes herself up.
"What the fuck, Regina?" She exclaimed, eyes wide and breathless. Because what the fuck was that?
Regina opened her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She just gapes at Emma for a moment before closing her mouth. The former Queen frowns and doesn't even hide her confusion that this hadn't gone exactly as she had planned. But there is something else. Regina looks unsure and that's a whole range of emotion Emma isn't used to seeing on the older woman's face. Through everything that had happened Regina had always looked confident. Like she knew what was happening and how it was happening and that she was damn sure she always had a plan B.
But now?
The brunette looks as much out of her element as Emma feels, and that scares Emma.
So Emma steps towards her, and Jesus she has no idea why, because hasn't she had enough hands in her chest to last a lifetime. Apparently not, because she does it anyway. Though that seems to be enough to snap Regina from her funk, because she steps back, turning away from Emma and all her magic slinks back with her.
"Regina?" She asked again, but isn't quite sure what she's even asking.
"Go home, Miss Swan." Regina's voice cuts through the quiet, and it sounds… tired. Less her. Somehow not the all encompassing that she's used to. "I've nothing left in this fight."
Emma wants to tell her she's wrong, that she's got everything to fight for, but she knows Regina won't believe her. Because she's broken, because so many people that were supposed to love her and look after had caused her so much pain. Emma wants to tell her that she wants Regina to fight with her, to stand beside her because Emma doesn't think she can do it without the other woman, as strange as that sounds.
Except she can't, because it's all too much. Everything about this night has been too much.
So instead she turns away from the brunette and walks to the door. But as she places her hand on the doorknob she thinks, 'you know what, fuck it.' Regina's been dealing with her lack of tact and brashness ever since she turned up in Storybrooke.
"Regina." She starts as she turns, but no one is there. Only faint wisps of purple smoke lingering in the air.
She sighs, the faint hum against her body from the magic fading, but yet... Emma wonders. "If you ever change your mind," she speaks into the empty air, knowing somehow that Regina can still hear her, "You know where I'll be."
Emma isn't sure, but as she leaves the mansion, she's pretty sure she can hear Regina sighing into the silence.
"So?" Snow asked brightly, and Emma isn't used to that. Snow asking about Regina with such hope, such optimism. Emma thinks maybe finally Snow must understand how important Regina is to this fight.
"Cora got what she wanted," Emma starts, and for some reason she feels tears prick her eyes, "Regina's broken."
For a second Emma thinks Snow's going to protest; to not accept it and demand Emma take her to Regina so she can knock some sense into the former Stepmother. But instead Snow pauses to look at Emma, and the younger woman thinks maybe Snow can read the finality in her face. Her mother nods sadly, and Emma knows that Snow understands. Maybe better than anyone else. Because she knows what it's like to lose your True Love, what it feels like to have your child taken from you. The difference, Emma muses, is that in the end Snow got it all back.
Regina won't get anything back.
Emma doesn't tell Snow about the magic they made together. How Regina held her heart in her hand and Emma's pretty sure it helped the other woman. That Emma felt something other than fear when she did it and that she knows Regina felt it too. She doesn't tell Snow any of that.
Emma looks away from her mother, resting her head in her hands.
"Dammit Regina," She whispers to herself.
fin