Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. The monotonous sound of the pendulum clock droned on. Time was always ticking. Never stopped. Just as the snow always flittered from the sky every winter, and come spring it would melt as if it never graced this earth. Even if time never stopped, however, it seemed to slow, leaving time for me to writhe in eternal misery. I glanced out the window at that shimmering snow that laid on the frozen ground. Even though the sun gazed down at it with its light, it was not enough to melt it.
"What does it become when the snow melts?" My heart twisted in agony as the clouds masked the sun's rays, making the atmosphere dark and cold. Even when time brought spring, it was hardly believable it would melt this snow. Colors began to fade as the world turned cold. The melted ice began to freeze once again over time. Cracks remained in the areas that had thawed, leaving permanent scars that would be hidden with more ice in time. For now, the scars were only precious memories. Memories that were painful, but to never be forgotten.
Looking at her picture was difficult, knowing that the memories were only mine alone. Every day I hoped that she was well. That she was happy. That she was... Loved. Kana...
"Hatori, I'm so glad to have met you. I'm even happier to have fallen in love with you." The same person she said that to had failed her. He failed her. I failed her. She believed otherwise. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you. Forgive me." It wasn't her fault. It was mine. I fell in love as if it was inevitable. I was wrong to do that. So wrong.
"Kana and I wish to be married." It was wrong of me to think that it was allowed. For a zodiac member to be allowed such happiness. The next thing I had known, the painted vase was thrusted towards me and the pain came soon after.
"No! I won't allow it! I refuse to allow it!" My blood had formed a puddle on the floor, making me realize that I had been so wrong. I had awoken from my dream, realizing that all of that happiness was an illusion.
"Hatori, what's wrong? Hatori..." Akito had asked me with concern as I held my eye and felt the unbearable pain. He then turned to her with anger. He pointed his finger at her. "You did this! It's your fault! If Hatori loses his sight it's your fault! It's your fault!" I knew she was horrified. Terrified. Afraid. "Do you think you can live the Sohma curse? Do you?!"
I had been brought back to the reality of life. I wondered how I could have been so wrong. So selfish. Selfish to think that I had been saved. That I was free. That I was allowed to be happy. Kana was convinced it was her fault, however.
Countless times I had attempted to tell her that it was my own fault. To tell her that it was me that was wrong. But the damage had already been done. The guilt she felt consumed her. Began to destroy her. She became her worst enemy, and it was my fault. To watch her writhe in pain and slowly fade away was agonizing.
I was the one to have brought her suffering. I was also the sole person capable of saving her. It was her feelings for me that brought such grief. Her memories with me. It was difficult to accept the fact that it was the only way to save her- to erase her memory of me.
"It would have been better... Better if you and I had never met." It was the only thing I could do for her. My final act of love for her.
"Thank you, Kana. It'll be all right now. You won't have to be troubled over me any longer. I hope one day that you will meet someone who will make you happy." I held her hand with my own cold hand. "It is my dearest wish that you do."
"Hatori... I'm so sorry. I wasn't able to protect you." She cried for me. "Forgive me." I took her memories, knowing it was best. I didn't want to do it, but that would have been selfish of me. She needed someone else that would love her and never bring her any pain.
Kana was a lesson to remember to protect others. To protect them, it is best to never have gotten close to them. I'm the one to save any others that stumble across the Sohma curse before they feel the pain as Kana did.