Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the story, WB owns them all (darn it). As for lyrics chosen as titles for the Chapters, credit goes to "The Fray" and their song "You Found Me."
This four chapter fiction was originally a 6,000 word oneshot for a livejournal challenge. As somethings are better of short and sweet, others are not. Personally, I think this is one of those situations where a condensed version doesn't flow as well as a flushed out story. The challenge was a song title, which some of the lyrics I chose to encorporate into the titles of each chapter. "You Found Me" by the Fray was the challenge theme that I had selected and served as the basic muse for the plot.
That being said, this is post SR however a slightly AU, wherease Richard White does in fact, exist but had not been engaged to Lois, simply and on again, off again boyfriend who thought he had fathered her son Jason. Although we all know differently! I would like to say a great big thank you to NiteAngel who's beta assistance and feedback really helped develop this fiction into a far better version than the original...if you doubt me, log on to LiveJournal and see for yourself. Anyway, on with the story, I really hope you enjoy, it was fun to write.
You Found Me
All Alone Smoking Her Last Cigarette
Clark's closed fist remained suspended over the unfamiliar paneled wooden door, hesitant to strike it. The neighborhood was familiar, the same actually, but the building was different; then again, they were different - himself and Lois, that is. Nothing had seemed to stay the same or last for that matter.
After a nervous exhale, the door in front of his eyes dissipated, only to reveal scattered crayons and papers with scribbles strewn across the living room carpet. The stillness in the apartment offered nothing further as to the identities of the occupants, with the sole exception of a child's shallow and slow respirations; asleep someplace inside.
He continued his search beyond the walls that separated the kitchen and living room, toward the balcony. The woman leaning against the rail was without a doubt, Lois.
Her back was turned with a glass and half finished cigarette in hand, and the other gripped an iron balcony railing. A gust of humid air wafted from the streets below, lifting errant wisps of her hair along the updraft. Her unmistakable profile came into view as she turned and sat on a patio chair; she seemed lost in thought.
Instantly an overwhelming sense of awkwardness proved difficult for Clark to knock on her door and intrude upon perhaps an inappropriate time. But he had to talk to her. Things had been so complicated since he came back; they were not how he had thought they would be.
Since he returned, Lois had barely acknowledged his presence. Considering he had left abruptly and without a memory of his identity, a cold shoulder and frosty reception to Superman's return was not exactly unexpected.
However, the complete indifference and blatant disregard of Clark Kent - her work colleague, her old friend, or best friend as he would have been so bold as to ascertain -well that was utterly perplexing.
It had seemed something of an anomaly at first, one he had immediately dismissed as an incredibly busy work week. After all, Superman had returned and once again, ironically, Lois had unintentionally landed herself directly in the midst of the splashy story. Without question she was bombarded with work and fending off the tabloid bottom feeders that flooded her telephone line.
But there was something more to it than that. There was a lack of warmth between the reporting team. It was as if they had never met before, that the many years they had worked together had meant absolutely nothing and at best, had merely been casual work acquaintances long ago.
Seemingly, Clark Kent had never existed to Lois Lane. He doubted his ability to erase her memory had delved that far backward. After he had kissed her, she knew he was her partner and had demonstrated no difficulty sending him to fetch her breakfast requests.
But he had been in the office nearly three weeks and nothing between the two journalists had changed. No friendly bickering or snide remarks with a sly lopsided grin ensued as the two returned to their journalistic pairing. None of it… merely a bare minimum of purely professional exchanges, and that was on a good day.
Mostly Lois had not bothered to involve her partner on leads, tips or new breaking information on stories that they shared. Clark had found it rather difficult and frustrating to piecemeal their joint article together when Lois had left him to complete their work before the deadline.
That was something the tenacious reporter never did, not once before he had left. Lois had always been adamant on scouring each line of text in a hawk-like fashion. If her name was attached to it, she refused to pass it along to Perry without a final consent… but not anymore.
"Got to run. School's not going to keep my son all night. Finish it up alright, Kent?" she shouted without failure to turn and directly address the open-mouthed man who sat at her desk.
Then there was Jason. A shock he never had expected. A child. His. That was something he had not even considered a possibility, yet his son existed. He was flesh and bone, had a name and currently fast asleep a few rooms away.
A pair of wide blue eyes looked up and something stirred inside the man as the child smiled. Lois brushed his hair back, bent over and kissed her son on the forehead. She spoke with a softness he had not heard before.
"He's a little fragile, but someday he'll grow up big and strong, like his Daddy."
He swallowed, pushed up the glasses on his nose and with firm resolve, soundly struck his knuckles across the door.
As he blinked, the image of Lois re-entering the apartment from the balcony dissolved into a fog, with only the mahogany directly in front of him. Her footsteps fell quickly but lightly across the carpet, to the door. As Clark's hands dug into his pockets, the door flew open.
"Oh. It's just…well, you."
"Gee, I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, Lois."
"Slow news night tonight I presume? Glad you could pencil me in." She spun on her heel and returned to the kitchen.
"Well, I guess sometimes I strike out when Perry wants me to cover anything that breaks overnight. But that's not why I'm here actually..."
Lois busied herself with rinsing the remaining dishes from dinner and loaded them into the dishwasher.
"Our article on the environmental lobbyists is done. I turned it in to Perry when you decided to pull a fast disappearing act this afternoon. You're welcome, by the way."
The towel that had been wiping down the wet countertop was forcibly slung onto its hanger as Lois briefly looked up to fire a warning glare.
She continued.
"Well, since we don't have another assignment I'm aware of that requires our collaboration and it's somewhat late in the evening, I'm tired and I'm getting ready for bed. I'm in no mood to entertain tonight. Consider it a raincheck."
"Lois, I need to talk to you." His voice was calm but urgent.
Lois held up a hand as he opened his mouth to proceed.
"You want to talk? Fine. But we're going to take this outside, Jason's asleep and I'd rather not wake him. He's a light sleeper."
Something about the remark and the undertones it carried gave Clark the impression there was a subtle jab. It set him on edge.
As she sat in a patio chair, Lois turned her attention briefly to the city view from the balcony and then to Clark.
The hard expression she bore did not fail to hit its intended target; the instant weight pressed heavily upon his chest. The strong ache caused the man to long for when they met, nearly ten years ago. In the beginning, when it was so black and white, when things were so simple.
Navigating Metropolis's maze of city streets and the majority of the globe was almost instinctual from above, yet Clark found himself nearly unable to find the Daily Planet building on foot. The task of locating Perry White's office was almost as daunting. How ironic.
The towering figure of the bright-eyed reporter inwardly chuckled in amusement at his entertaining predicament and consequently, drew attention of a few hardened journalists and accountants that accompanied him in the crowded elevator.
"Nice morning, isn't it?"
It was painfully obvious Clark was not only a novice reporter but city dweller as well. Far too cheerful for the early morning.
The roar of the seemingly uncontrolled chaos flooded the man's sensitive ears as others jostled him to the front of the elevator onto the 35th floor of the Daily Planet building.
People directly in front of him somehow miraculously avoided a full collision as most were buried in the pages in front of them. Traffic on the bullpen floor flowed without incident as individuals remained generally oblivious to their surroundings.
"Hey, watch where you're going!" a gruff man looked up briefly from his copy to yell. He stood nearly two inches from the tall reporter, visibly offended at the obstruction in his normal route to the editor's desk.
"Exc-cuse me s-sir, can you tell me…"
The man disappeared as abruptly as he materialized. Clark nervously pushed the thick glasses up his nose. How on earth was he going to find his new employer's office?
"Back office, editor in chief," he muttered to himself.
"Excuse me? You, tall guy! Out of my way if you're going to just stand there," a woman barked as her shoulder hit his elbow. She paused, threw an angry glance in his direction and rubbed her shoulder.
"I'm looking for a P-Perry White's office."
Papers rustled in her hands as she waved him toward her.
"With me. Hurry up. I don't have all day. Some of us have work and deadlines to get to," she huffed as her heels weaved expertly through the isles of cubicles, copiers and other staff.
The beautiful yet impatient woman tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear and stopped briefly in exasperation.
"Are you coming or not? I'm on my way to his office. Get a move on."
"Thanks, Miss…"
"Lois Lane." The door swung open into a cluttered and impressive office. "And you are?"
"Clark Kent."
"Lois! I see that you found our newest reporter Clark Kent. Thanks, kid. I was worried your partner wouldn't find it. Big change from the wheat fields of Kansas, isn't it?"
Clark motioned to reply but the woman who was visibly displeased with the idea of a partnership interjected.
"Partner!" Lois's hazel eyes narrowed in displeasure. She glared at the unassuming new man.
"Yes, Lois, your partner."
Suddenly he had found himself in between two snarling egos and made an attempt to diffuse the situation.
"Golly, Miss Lane. You found me! If you hadn't, I never would have made it." He grinned.
"Yup," she grumbled. "Just great."
Clark made every effort to dismiss the hair that prickled along his hairline and the strong sense of foreboding that with this woman who apparently was his partner, that things were not going to be simple or easy. He smiled and adjusted his tie.
The hollow clink of the ice cubes against a glass that shifted resonated across the otherwise silent patio. The incredibly blue pair of eyes behind the thick horn rimmed glasses waited.
"Well?"
An eyebrow rose in curiosity at the simple and accusatory statement. The skepticism that was thick in her statement was unable to mask the longing in Lois' eyes.
An evening summer breeze stirred and gently rustled the jet black hair along his forehead. The glass of what was most assuredly Bombay Sapphire Gin was empty with the exception of the ice cubes that slowly melted.
Lois continued, "What can I do for you? I don't recall giving you my address, you found me. "
"Yes, I found you," he commented, pushing his glasses up his nose and continued, "You didn't give it to me. I found it in the Planet's directory. In fact, that is what's been bothering me and the reason I came to talk to you." The patio chair creaked as Clark's weight shifted.
The ice cubes swirled coolly in Lois's glass.
"Oh? What bothers you? The fact that paper directories have become obsolete during the time span that you disappeared from the face of the Earth? Or that you didn't know where I lived?"
The rapid questions that succeeded his own were somewhat irritating and intentional. Lois knew damn well it was an obscenely infuriating trait she possessed that drove him mad. Pure and simple.
"Both." A steady yet uncertain hand pushed back the dark hair that flopped in front of his eyes. "Lois, we've worked together for a long time…."
"We did work together a long time. A long time ago." The deliberately emphasized past tense hurt. Clark chose to disregard the snide remark.
"You never told me you moved…"
Her hand waved indifference as she glanced over the balcony and the towering skyscrapers. "I forgot. Things have changed since you left. I didn't think you'd really notice, or care for that matter."
He may have been a bit rusty reading Lois but akin to flying and riding a bicycle, some behaviors of his partner were not forgotten; as plain as ink on a page. She was furious. At what exactly, proved a mystery and Clark was finished with guessing.
"Is this what everything's been about?"
Lois blinked, feigned innocence. "What's what about? Honestly, Clark, sometimes you don't make any sense." Coolly, his partner tipped her head back, reclined in the chair that opposed him and tilted back the nearly empty tumbler.
"You know what I mean. You've been avoiding me since I came back."
Lois swallowed abruptly at his blatant comment. She snorted indignantly and sat upright in disbelief at the accusation. "I have not."
"You've barely said a word to me in three weeks."
"I've been busy. It's only been two and a half weeks, Clark. Don't give yourself too much credit," she replied callously. "I think I've said plenty."
"We were friends."
Lois set the glass on the concrete and looked expectantly at her partner. The calm exterior only masked the racing heart that pounded, the shallow respirations, the crimson flush that burned the tips of her ears.
"We were more than that. You know better, Clark." It was really happening. They were actually having the conversation. She was going to play her hand.
"Lois, I don't exactly…"
"Oh yes you do. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Her eyes looked across the patio through the sliding glass door into the toy-littered living room. "Did you really think that you could kiss me, disappear without a word of explanation a few days later and I wouldn't have a slight problem with that?"
Lois leaned forward as she often did when a prey during an interview was about to succumb… when she went in for the kill.
"Where were you, Clark? When everything started falling apart?"
An immense wave of guilt rolled through him as her eyes grew glassy in the darkness. Despite the incredibly tough exterior that Lois displayed when he had disappeared, she was devastated.
"I've asked you before, but once more, I'm asking you again. How could you leave us like that?"
Her heart pounded so loudly, it drowned out the noise of taxis and city traffic below. Finally, after nearly three weeks, she was able to muster the courage to tell him everything that had been pent up for five long years.
"Clark, you need to be honest with me, and don't give me a load of bullshit. I can sniff out a pile of manure a mile away and I sure as hell won't buy a safari in Africa as an excuse because I haven't forgotten one… damn… thing. You may have a lot of amazing abilities." She laughed bitterly. "But come on, erasing memories isn't one of them."
The sarcasm that attempted to mask her injured gaze dissected through Clark's façade.
Her face fell as he remained quiet. "It was a joke, Clark."
"It wasn't funny."
"It's called sarcasm, Clark, or would you prefer me to call you by some other name..." she trailed.
He remained solemn, characteristically folded his arms has Superman often did despite the grey suit and glasses he currently wore.
"Lois…" he warned.
A knot formed in her stomach and it tightened. Perhaps she had gone too far. He had apologized profusely and they shared a child. She needed to be an adult about their situation. Pettiness was difficult to shelf but necessary in certain circumstances in life.
"You didn't really kiss me and thought you had some type of ability to wipe away a piece of my memory…did you?"
"There are theories based upon scientific fact my father had left me from Krypton that had given every indication that it was within the realm of possibilities."
"What? You've got to be kidding… I can't believe this." She stood and began to pace. "I hope you're damn comfortable in that chair," she pointed in Clark's direction, "because I've got a lot of questions for you. Unless the President himself asks for your help, buddy, tonight your ass stays planted in that chair. Got it?"
"You can ask me anything, Lois, you know that." Game over. They both knew it.
Lois looked away, unable to maintain the air of indifference as her cheeks burned. It was pointless.
The stillness and silence that hung between Lois and Clark only seemed to drive a larger wedge between the couple. It was the calm before the storm that was brewing.
Lois was beyond words. She was completely and utterly baffled, not to mention furious that he had attempted such a theory left by his Kryptonian father. It was insulting.
"So," she began curtly, "is that what I meant to you? A roll in the hay and then wipe the mind clean of a simple human for your covenience? Because we're just so inferior to your highly advanced and intelligent race…"
"It's not like…"
"No Clark," she harshly interjected. "You are going to let me have my say, and I know I deserve at least that much. To think I had been eaten alive with worry for years…years Clark, after you had left."
The cheeks on Lois's face began to burn as the fire blazed in her eyes. Her voice stayed low, yet the menacing nature was more intimidating then when she raised it.
"Five years Clark, Superman, Kal El whatever the hell your name is…five years is a long time to have been abandoned without an answer."
"I didn't abandon you."
"Yes, yes you did. You left without a word of explanation. How else would you put it?"
Clark swallowed. She was right. He did abandon her, no matter how many attempts he had made to rationalize his choice in the past, it was a grievous error in judgment. One he wished he could recant.
Lois paced as she continued.
"Do you even know what it was like here after you left?" Her injured stare dissected to Clark's core. "I suppose you don't. After all, you were gone. Did you know that just about every leader of the free world inundated me with questions about where you were? Asking Lois Lane, Superman's press agent, knew where he had gone? Have you ever heard desperation in the voice of the President of the United States? Have you ever heard Great Brittan's Prime Minister beg? Because Clark, I can tell you, there are thousands of people who would still be alive had you stayed."
"I've read the papers my mother saved for me if I ever made it back from Krypton. I know what happened when I was gone. I know damn well those people would not have died if I was here. Do you think I'm completely void of any emotion Lois?"
"I don't know, are you? You're not human. How the hell am I supposed to know if you actually feel anything? Do you have even the faintest idea how scared I was when I found out I was pregnant with your child? How alone I felt? Screw what the world wanted and needed Clark…I needed you."
"And you thought that hadn't occurred to me? I had no idea you were pregnant."
"What…you didn't check? Give me a once over?"
"No, I wanted to respect your privacy."
"Ah. I see. But attempting to steal a memory from me was not as invasive. I get it. Attempting to take the memory of how our son was created was just fine. Completely acceptable. How silly of me to get the two confused."
"We were both younger than we are now, I'm not a perfect person Lois. I openly admit I have made choices in my life that have effected others that I am not proud of. I did what I thought was best at the time. I'm sorry."
"If you had known I was pregnant, would things have been different?"
"I would never have left."
"I guess it was better that you didn't know then, because the last thing I'd ever want in my life is to have someone stick around who didn't want to be there simply out of obligation."
It was Clark's turn to bleed his emotions, the things he had mulled over and over again but had never spoken of to anyone.
"Every time I see our son, it hurts. I wasn't there when he was born, when he took his first step, or started to talk. I missed all of it and there is a part of me that is incredibly envious of Richard White. He was the one who's finger Jason's tiny hand grasped when he was a baby. Not mine. It's an emptiness I can't fill."
He stood, walked to the balcony, looked down to the streets below and briefly paused to listen in the night air for any cries of help. He turned to Lois, and directly addressed her.
"To see you every day, an arm's length away and I can't have you. Lois, I miss you so much it aches."
Lois buried her face in her hands, exhaled in frustration and looked at Clark in question.
"Where do we go from here?"
"I don't know," he confessed. They remained distanced from each other.
"But Superman has all the answers…right?"
"Lois," he spoke softly "You and I both know that I don't," he spoke softly.
She sighed. "I know. I just wish at least one of us did."
Her mind raced back to the beginning; longing for simpler times, when they collided and sparks flew. How were they to know this is how things would be? There were still fresh wounds, when he left without a word; when she was left with nothing.
Lois's right shoulder throbbed, intense pain seared through the rotator cuff into the ribcage. Her shoulder girdle felt as if it were ready to rip directly from the bones in her chest as the rest of her body hung perilously above the streets of Metropolis. It was the last day of her life.
The sweat that continued to grow in her palm and it made the ability to grip the seatbelt increasingly difficult.
I am going to die. This can't be happening.
It was pointless to scream for help in a helpless situation. No one from the roof could reach her and anyone fifty floors below would be unable able to catch her soon to be plummeting body. Despite the ridiculousness of it all, her lungs and throat burned as she hoarsely screamed for anyone to rescue her.
"Help! Come on! Someone! Please!"
Her hands slipped further down the seatbelt to the buckle as the metal fasteners groaned from her weight. In a surreal haze, she looked down at the crowd and well lit streets below.
RIP!
Suddenly the belt gave way as she clung to it. Her stomach rose to her throat as a guttural scream came from the falling reporter. Instinctually her arms flailed and clawed at the air that rushed past as Lois plummeted.
Her eyes began to tear, obscuring her vision as the rapid pace of the wind stung and bit at her face. The ground below that grew closer was blurred. Lois took what was most assuredly to be her last breath. At least she wouldn't feel a thing.
Her body instantly jerked to a halt and an eerie quiet replaced the wind that flooded her eardrums only seconds before. She was still alive. It couldn't be. There had to be a logical explanation.
Lois's eyes in complete disbelief opened and below, darkened windows of The Planet began to fall away as she began to ascend.
I must have died. I've gone to heaven. This must be an angel come to take me to St. Peter himself. Again, the stunned woman blinked and rapidly gained her bearings.
Lois looked up, and directly into a pair of blue eyes that belonged to a man who had caught her. A heck of a catch, considering they were far from the ground. One of the Planet's photographers had better have gotten that shot.
The greatest insult to injury would have been another paper scooping her front-page worthy situation. After all, if it was necessary to experience a near death situation with nearly losing control of her bladder in the process, her picture had damn well better be on the front page of the paper that employed her.
After a swallow to push down the intense surge of vertigo, she searched above for the cable cord and the rescue crew who had most likely lowered the man down to snag her.
Where the hell was the cable? Wherever it was, it had better not snap. Rushing at the speed of gravity to the ground twice in less than five minutes was not exactly a life experience Lois wished to pursue.
"Easy, Miss, I've got you."
Lois stunned, blinked and searched the dark sky overhead. There appeared to be no rescue line. Ridiculous, Lane. Get a grip. Lois struggled to breathe. Despite all common sense that would immediately dismiss the absurd notion, she began to heavily doubt that such a cable existed. It had to be impossible.
"Y-you've got me." She had found her voice as the pair began to ascend. "Who's got you?" And I don't even care that you look like a circus performer in those tights right now. Just don't drop me.
When her feet touched solid ground again and stood inches from this strange man, Lois found her voice again as he seemingly waited for her to speak. "Who, who are…you?" Lois found herself admiring the stranger's incredible physique. Damn you're cute. Alright, maybe you can actually pull off wearing tights, considering you don't seem to have an ounce of fat on you.
"A friend."
He smiled with assurance, and then suddenly soared into the air above the city. Lois's heart raced as her eyes tracked his every move in complete disbelief.
A man who flew. No one would believe her. Great, Lane. Riveting question. Way to use your fantastic reporter interview skills. Chief will probably want a nose dive off another building to score a real interview. Like hell I'd do that again….hmm, well maybe that's not so bad. Right place, right time…
Lois Lane made a silent vow to wear something far more flattering than the hard lined suits if she went on another rooftop in the near future.
I hope you found this Chapter entertaining, please review and let me know how I did! Thanks. Constructive criticism welcome, nasty snippy comments I can do without.