Revelation
"Personal space heater?!" I was taken aback by what I was hearing. "Scoot over Bella." Jake said as he began to unzip my sleeping bag. Jacob and I would be snuggled up together in a few short seconds. I stole a peak at Edward to gauge his reaction. It seemed fairly calm, but I was sure it was a good façade. "N-n-n-n-o" was all I could stammer out between my chattering teeth. "Don't be stupid," Jake snapped, "don't you like having all ten toes?"
I was so cold that any hint of warmth I welcomed with open arms. (If I could pry my arms apart at this point.) When Jacob climbed in the sleeping bag beside me I felt myself begin to melt. My personal sun was doing what he always has, he warmed me. I felt the heat creep up my entire body. Starting at the tips of my toes and slowly making it's way up. Thawing my limbs as it climbed.
Ahhh…finally I was able to breathe normally. The convulsions that racked my freezing body came to a halt. When my brain began to function, I realized Jacob and Edward were exchanging verbal blows. " Those are the breaks, at least you know she wishes it was you." Jake muttered. "True." Edward happily agreed.
After more words passed between us I drifted off into my own mind. While ducking my head into the base of Jake's neck, I took in his scent. An earthy fragrance filled my nostrils. Jacob smelled of nature to me, of life and existence. His smell took me back to the times we walked on the beach hand in hand. The times we spent in his garage doing nothing but enjoying each others company. I remembered the bonfire where I listened to the elders tell their stories. When we were just friends. When I began to live again.
In those few seconds my mind shifted. Everything around me silenced as I made this revelation. I am exactly where I wanted to be. As I lay here in Jacob's arms I understood that this is how it was suppose to be. The warmth of his body, the tenderness of his embrace, and the liveliness that I felt inside shook me to my core. It sent shivers throughout my entire body. This is what I've been missing. Jake squeezed tighter thinking it was the cold to blame. Edward released a low growl.
Since Edward and I have gotten back together I noticed things weren't quite right. I loved him, no doubt about it. However something has been gnawing at my insides since our incident in Italy. We weren't who we used to be. Was it the fact that he had left me crushed and broken on that damp forest floor? Possibly. He promised never to do it again…unless I wanted him to leave. It could have also been Jacob himself that brought this on. He was there for me at my lowest time. He's the one who mended me and put life back in to me.
Wait! What?" I asked myself. Where was all of this coming from? Now I was second guessing the relationship I had with Edward? Edward was all I ever wanted. Hmm, my mind began to spin. Maybe he was everything I thought I wanted. I have to admit, Edward came back into my life as suddenly as he had taken himself out of it. There has been a whirlwind of emotions consume me for the past few months. Maybe I wasn't able to discover these feelings because of all the mayhem going on.
I don't know how or why, but my world has just stopped revolving around Edward Cullen. Jacob's arms were my safe haven. Jake always made me feel safe and warm and loved. Loved. Oh how I loved laying here with Jacob. My body fitting into all the contours of his. Our legs intertwined, his breath flowing across my face, his hand on the small of my back, it all felt so...right.
I was finally able to fall asleep thanks to my Jacob. The last thought lingering in my head before drifting off into dream land was, "How am I going to tell Edward?"