Yugioh
Fairy Attack
By Katochi Sage
Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS. Except for McNugget.
Prologue
Morning...yay...
Yugi looked up at his bedroom window with disgust. It was another day that he had to deal with the scum of the EARTH! Well, not really. It was the day of the KC Tournament Finals.
"Yugi! Wakey wakey eggs and baccy!" Jumping out of bed Yugi runs/falls down the stairs. "Eggs? Bacon? Where?" Getting up and brushing himself off he meets his grandpa in the kitchen. "Hohoho! I have no such things! You know I don't make breakfast, I'm too much of a lazy person. Oh by the way, I have a dance class to go to, so I won't be seeing your battle today."
"Duel, grandpa, duel. We don't battle, that's Pokemon." Yugi says crossing his arms.
"Ugh, there all the same. Have fun playing your childrens card game!" he calls grabbing his pink duffle bag and hops on his motorcycle. "Oh yeah! This grandpa is awsome!" He says to himself.
Yugi face palms. Could this day be any worse?
Chapter One
How to Make Breakfast
After the tremendously cold shower, and his savage encounter with the toothpaste, Yugi gets dresed and heads down to the kitchen. "MOWUUW" his stomache protested. It was so loud it echoed through the whole house. "Man, I'm hungry." he said to himself. Looking in the fridge, he realizes that there is nothing to eat. Except for eggs, and bacon. "Great! This is going to be..."
"YUGI!" Jeoys voice calls from out of nowhere. Yugi slips and face plants into the year old pizza that his grandpa had in the fridge. "Yugi?" He calls again. He comes out from behind the door, his face dripping with a green cheesy mess. "Ye-" He busted out laughing. "What?" Joey asks insulted. "Whats so funny?" Yugi couldn't quit laughing. Joey had looked like he came out of a blender. His hair was rainbow colored, and different lengths. "Look in a mirror." Yugi smirks. "You look like Eddy Merphy's pet." Joey squeels and runs out. "I can't look this pretty!" Chuckling again, Yugi takes out the eggs and bacon from the fridge. Selecting two different pan looking things, he grabbed his laptop to look up how to make the combo.
Cookapedia
Eggs and Bacon for those who can't cook worth a shit, and does nothing but duel all their lives. Especially when you have blonde spikey hair.
Yugi stuck out his tongue.
Yami: Hahaha! That sounds just like you.
Yugi: Shut up! We look exactly alike.
Yami: Point, but I can cook.
Yugi: Oh can you now?
Yugi forces Yami to take over his body. Yami blinks at the laptop. "How the hell am I supposed to use this to give me answers?" Yugi walks out of the spirit realm. "Answer says me." Yami commands. Nothing. "Damn! Well, there's only one thing to do. Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, dressed in an apron. Yami flips an egg in midair. The sizzle of bacon fills the kitchen. "Man, all hail the Pharoah. I am awesome." Sitting at the table he digs into his breakfast fit for a king.
Yugi's spirit comes up to the table, wide eyed. "You actually figured it out? Can I have some?" Yami shakes his head. "No. You said that that stubborn mystical light in the box said I was stupid."
"Wha-what?! Come on! I put up with you all my life and this is what I get?!" Yugi wines.
"Would you like some cheese with that wine?"
Yugi nods. "Yes! Anything to fill my stomache."
"No! No soup for you!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaa!" he cries. "I'm telling mother."
"You don't have one remember?"
Yugi suddenly stops. "Oh yeah. Oh well. Wait. Why am I suddenly full?" he looks at Yami suspiciously.
"Maybe becuase we share the same body?" He raises his eyebrows. "Now, since I'm done, you can do the dishes." Yami says and switches places with Yugi, leaving a huge mess for him to clean up.
Chapter Two
School. Oh God. Ah! Slifer don't kill-!
After cleaning up the kitchen, Yugi grabs his bag and gets on his bike. His school was only a block away. He could walk, but it was faster so he could sleep in a few extra minutes. It was going to be a long day, especially with reproduction class, and math after that. "Damn, I hate math." he thought to himself. Yami interjected. "Did you study?" he says in that mother like voice. "No, but it's a peice of cake."
Yami laughs. "That's what you said last week. Then you brought home an E on your test, and your grandpa grounded you from dueling." Yugi scowls. "Don't remind me."
During fourth hour Mr. Scrufficans points a stick at the board. "Whats two plus two? Yugi?"
Awaking from his hidden notes and blurts out, "You get a sperm cell that comes in contact with an egg cell and you have a kid nine months later." The class bursts out laughing. The teacher smiles. "No Yugi, that is reproduction. This is math. The answer is two." The class laughs harder. After the bell the teacher stops Yugi. "Yugi, good job today in class, I hope you do well on your reproduction test." Yugi moans. "Thanks."
In the hallway Yami speaks to him. "Great job hotshot, at least you'll have very good luck with Taya." Yugi almost threw up. "Your joking right?! She's like...like..."
Yami: "Hot and sexy."
Yugi: "NO!"
Yami: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Five minutes and thirty seconds later...
"Ok class, here is your final exam for this class. You fail, I get to see you next tri." Yugi shudders, this class was hard enough, especially with Taya and Tristan sitting right next to him. "Good louck man." Tristan promps. Taya: "Oh no! I didn't know that the exam was today! Oh well I'll do good."
Yugi: "Oh man...the test is 300 questions long...thats a lot of diagrams."
Yami: "Just around the corner." he sings.
Yugi: "Shut the hell up!"
Yami: "Never! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! OK I'm done. Bye bye! Good luck."
299 Questions later...
300: What is the color that-
Bell rings. Yugi jumps up. "Time to go, only missed one question, but Jesus, I don't wanna know what that last question said."
Leaving the test on the teachers desk he inwardly rejoiced. He didn't have to take this class again!
"Hey Yugi?" Tristan comes up to him.
"Why does number 300 ask about the color that represents a cat?" Yugi shrugs. "I don't know...but I could have answered that question." Tristan laughs, "You skipeed it didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Well, don't skip that."
"Splat!"
Chapter Three
Crush
Water soaked Yugi's face and shirt as he walks out of the school. "What happened to you?" Joey asked. "Well, to compare to you from this morning, I didn't put my head into a color changing blender." Joey snorted. "At least I didn't get rotten pizza in my face."
Yami: "Well at least my hair is sexier than all of yours." He interjected.
Yugi busted out laughing. "Your lucky they didn't hear that. Or else Joey would start acting like an ape."
Yami: "Too late."
(ON the sidelines Joey is literally acting like an ape)
"Give me a BANANA!"
"No." Yami says matter of factly.
"Screw you!" Joey runs away. Suddenly Yami forces a switch between bodies. "Oh...my god!" Yami says in somewhat of a girly way. "Look...over...there..." He points to an orange cart. He runs over and hands the guy some money. "Give me five please."
"I can't."
"Why not?!"
"Becuause we're all sold out."
"All sold out? This is pathetic! Lets play a childrens card game to settle this matter!"
"I-I don't duel..."
"Fine! I'll go to the store and buy some!"
(Three second scene where Yami is standing in line listening to cheesy elavator music. Then he comes to the school with a cooler full of orange crush)
"Don't worry, my gramps will pay for it, I put it on his tab." Yami points out. Taya comes to him. "Why?" Yami looks at her with a death glance. "Because it IS my favorite."
"May I have some?"
"NO!" Yami says hugging the cooler. "These are my jewels! The source of my power!"
Joey snorts. "I thought that was your Puzzle." Yami stares daggers at him. "NOOOooo, this IS my power. I just try to hide it. It is secret." Joey nods. "So this crush is your power!" Yami pounces on Joey. "Shut up! No one can know, or else they'll-"
"Clink! Shooop! Snap. Gulp gulp gulp."
Yami slowly looks back. A devistated look on his face. Tristan stood there, by his cooler, with a bottle of his Crush. His power. "What the hell are you thinking?! You stole the source of my mojo super special awsome dueling power!" He chases Triston around the park. "If you ever EVER steel my Crush again...I will throw you and Taya into a ice cube filled, crocodile, filled lake, with Marik in leather pants."
"Chill dude, I'm sorry."
Taya: "Why me?!"
Yami to Taya: "Cuz I can!"
Yami stalks off to the duel dome with his cooler of Crush. Yugi appears. "Can I have one?"
"NO!"
Chapter Four
The Duel
Standing on the stadium floor holding a Crush in one hand, and awaiting for Kaiba to appear. It had been exactly five minutes since the duel was supposed to be starting.
HOUR LATER
Finally, after the last bottle of Crush, Kaiba comes out of his side of the feild. "Shit!" Yami thought. "I gotta go." "Are you ready to lose Yugi? Beucase your are going to be used as dragon meat."
"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. Can I go to the bathroom please?"
Kaiba laughs. "No! It was your fault for drinking all that pop."
"Soda."
"What?" Kaiba asks.
"I'ts pronounced Soda."
"Pop."
"Gosh damn it! It's soda!"
Kaiba sighs and draws his hand, followed by a very, very, disturbed look on his face. "Can I go change my deck?"
Yami shakes his head. "No. I no pee, you no deck."
"Ugh fine. I lay two face down cards."
(After several turns of nothing but Kiba laying all face down cards)
Yami plays Dark Magician onto the feild, along with the other four monsters on the feild. "Why aren't you using any monsters Kaiba? I thought I was going to lose." Kiba smiles. "I'm setting up a huge plan for your demise Yugi!" Yami laughs. This was going to be a demise alright.
Smiling at his new drawn card. "Now for the card that you will hate most! I play the magical power of Swords of Revealing Light! Revealing all your face down monsters and making it so you can't attack for three turns."
Kaiba: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A waterpon, Injection Fairy Lilly, Pagasis is sexy,...
"Wait? WTF?!"
Kaiba shrieks. "THIS IS NOT MY DECK!"
Yami: "Riiiiiight, and your hair isn't brown, and 2pac is alive. You are the most worse liar ever."
Kaiba: "I give! You win!" He runs off crying like a baby. "Someone was going to pay!"
Meanwhile a little kid five feet tall with brown hair and eyes laughs in a corner. His plan had worked. Now Kaiba was humiliated!
Chapter Five
Celebration!
"Good job on your big win today Yugi!" Grandpa says as he emerges from the kitchen that same night. "My dance class was pretty cool, but I stopped that and started up something else!" Yugi looks at him with a questioning look. "What now?"
"I can't tell you." As he shoves a costume looking thing in the closet. "Well, grandpa, I'm happy for you. But seriously, can I ask a question?"
"Yes?"
"Can you please get off your keister and buy some grocercies?"
He sighs. "Why don't you have that Pharoh boyfriend of yours do that?"
"What?!"
(Pharoah is in the background doing the Cabbage Patch dance.)
Yami: "Oh yeah, uhuh, I won, its my birthday, oh yeah."
Yugi looks at his grandpa. "Your hopeless. He's not my boyfriend. Just cuz he shares the same body with me doesn't mean we are in a relationship."
"Fine fine. I'm going to bed. Goodnight Yugi."
Yugi nods and goes to his room to go to sleep as well. Getting dressed into PJ's He lies down. "Goodnight Pharoah."
Yami: "Goodnight Yugi."
Yugi: "Yami?"
Yami: "Yes?"
Yugi: "When you go shopping tomorrow can you get some Pizza Rolls?"
Yami: "Wait? What? Since when-?"
"Thanks." Within seconds, Yugi was asleep. Yami shakes his head, pouts and looks out the window. In the rain, he sees a hooded figure under a street light. Another person approached him. The first person took off his hood.
Yami: "Oh my Ra! I MUST be dreaming." He pinches himself. "Nope. Well, I have a new mission! I SHOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE THE SEXIEST HAIR EVER! This...means...war..." he says while holding up a fist.
Suddenly a stuffed My Little Pony is thrown at him. "Shut up and go to bed Yami. I have chores to do tomorrow."
Grandpa's voice comes from downstairs. "YUGI?! Whay is my tab bill $200?"
Yugi moans. "Make that double chores tomorrow."
THE END
NOT REALLY! HAH! :d
Section 2 will be out soon!
PS: Please review :)