Seriously, guys, who named my 'ship? It's ridiculous. But it inspired a cute little fluffycrack!fic. Is there such a thing as a fluffycrack!fic? Well, I just invented it. So there. :D
"I still fail to see how such a thing would serve any purpose." He held it in his hand distastefully, his pristine Vulcan features wrinkled slightly in disgust. Kirk couldn't help but smirk momentarily at his first officer's expression before quickly resuming a semblance of the utmost seriousness.
"You see, it saves time, Mr. Spock. Resources. Surely that's logical? You need a fork, you need a spoon, and here you have both of them without the need to manufacture them separately." Kirk took it from him, inspecting it himself as he spoke.
"And yet, Captain, it serves neither purpose well. The inefficiency of such a device clearly outweighs any so-called benefits of reducing mass production. If one wishes to use it to eat soup, the prongs prevent one from collecting any appreciable amount of liquid. If one wishes to spear a piece of meat or vegetable, these same prongs are not substantial enough to provide any purchase. It would be much simpler to just provide the crew with reusable utensils of a more traditional type." Spock steepled his fingers thoughtfully in the way that meant that if Kirk couldn't throw him off soon he'd take his argument and run with it. Far, far away. It wasn't that he disagreed with Spock- he was just debating for debate's sake. But it was never as much fun when Mr. Spock dominated.
"Mr. Spock, it's for the safety of the crew. If a crewmember has gone space-crazy or has some sort of malicious intent, he can't make a weapon out of this without attracting considerable attention. And-" Kirk raised a quelling finger to cut off Spock's counterargument even though he wasn't really sure what else he could say, "- and, Mr. Spock, it's not about efficiency. You must remember that humans are driven by emotion- greed, Mr. Spock. Materialism. The manufacturers want to make as much as possible. Starfleet wants to spend as little as possible. Whether or not the things are particularly efficient isn't an issue." He let Spock see his smirk this time as he handed the thing back to him, although it was really more of a giddy grin. Spock seemed genuinely confused by his defeat, and Kirk had to force back a chuckle. No need to add insult to injury.
"I... see your point, Captain. I'm not sure why I didn't think of it." Which meant that if he had, he would have taken the side with the clear advantage and left Kirk to fight a losing battle. Kirk still grinned. That Vulcan bastard.
"It's quite alright, Mr. Spock. I wouldn't expect a logical being such as yourself to account for the emotional motivations of humans. How about a game of chess?" But he had won, and they both knew it. The captain's smirk lasted all the way up until Spock had checkmated him twice and he decided he ought to really play.