Smash and Grab: An Avengers Initiative Tale, Part 1
Wet smoke rises into the dry Texas sky. Hot haze obscures the woman behind the hot grill on her ranch home's patio. Victoria Star flips the burgers and smiles, inhaling their aroma. She feels the breeze through her T-shirt and upon her bare legs. Her flip-flops dance upon the raspy grey concrete, and she hums happily while barbequing. Nearby, a picnic table is ready for the feast. Upon it are buns, hot sauce, onions, apple pie, and—soon—beans. Some distance away, a little creepy man beholds her. His wide eyes stare and spy.
Through the sliding screen, the creepy man sees Drew Daniels in the kitchen stirring a pot of beans. He is adding secret ingredients to the mix, and a spy watches him do this. Drew yells a joke to his love Vicki outside. She laughs and flashes a pretty smile. Vicki and Drew are Shooting Star and Texas Twister of the Rangers of the Avengers Initiative.
Mutant Peepers cannot hear the joke. He does not have super-hearing. But, his enhanced sight sees clearly through the solid oaks before him and over the one thousand feet of prairie to the Rangers' house.
"The two are having a grill-out," he tells his two companions in a jeep.
"I can see the smoke. I can even sort of smell the cooking like a dog would," Buzz Baxter snarls in the driver's seat of the parked vehicle. In plain clothes, the super-villain Mad-Dog glares through the branches of the thicket at his prey and quarry. His pack and he hide at the moment.
"My x-ray and telescopic vision show them completely relaxed for now," Peepers mumbles anxiously. He wipes sweat from his misshapen bald brow. Peepers is very cautious about confronting superheroes. USAgent once nearly killed him, and he has had speech and physical disabilities ever since. After USAgent, mutant-haters tried to kill him. Little Peter "Peepers" Quinn was only saved by the intervention of fellow mutant Outlaw. After Outlaw's intervention, Peepers took refuge with the X-Men at their mansion. He should have his odd little head examined for agreeing to help two old criminal friends. Peepers is retired from Mutant Force. He should have remembered that before coming here.
"Don't sweat too heavily, Pete," friend Byron "Burner" Calley advises from the passenger seat, "You'll stain the upholstery in this nice vehicle that we degenerates stole."
"It sure is hot as hell in Commerce, TX!" Mad-Dog swipes away sweat with both hands.
"Why don't you just pant, Mad-Dog," Burner bothers Buzz, "The heat doesn't bother me."
Abruptly, Baxter backhands Byron lightly across the cheek, "Ha, ha, ha. The heat doesn't bother the mutant Burner. You're freakin' funny."
Burner smirks and rubs his stung cheek, "Some of us are more of a man than others, Buzz-boy. Besides, you picked your target. You picked the Texas Rangers. We could be striking other members of the Avengers Initiative in other states. For example, why aren't we in Alaska? You could smack your ex-wife Hellcat around."
Unmasked, Mad-Dog's face has a once-bitten look. He grumbles, "Wife Patsy has proven a troublesome and capable foe at times. Plus, I have been out of the game for awhile, and I want my first mission back to be a success. I'm working up to going up to Alaska to face Hellcat."
"Are you going through every state between Texas and Alaska on the way?" Burner laughs at his team leader, "Does the cat have the dog scared? Is that it?" Burner laughs some more.
Mad-Dog raises a claw before Burner's face. Then, he withdraws it. It wipes away more heavy, thick sweat, "I thought about hitting Mr. Immortal in Wisconsin. The weather would be cooler. We could have fun torturing and killing an Avenger again and again. But then, the Great Lakes Avengers are his buddies and team, and they would come to Immortal's aid. The Great Lakes Avengers can be jokes. Or, they can be ass-kickers capable of opposing Batroc's Brigade. I need my first mission back in the game to be a success."
"What about Captain Ultra in Nebraska? I could have really messed with him," Burner mentions the infamous pyrophobe.
Captain Buzz Baxter shakes his head, "Captain Ultra is like the Great Lakes Avengers. Sometimes, he's a joke. Sometimes, he is like Hyperion or Sentry: faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and more powerful than the three of us."
"We could have hit Diamondback in Delaware. She is a soft target," Peepers pipes from the peanut gallery.
Mad-Dog sighs in the unholy heat, "Yeah, yeah, you got me there. But, we are here now." Burner gives his old buddy a smile in the backseat.
Byron addresses Buzz, "Buzz, since we are here now, what is the plan? You contacted me about robbing the Avengers, and you asked me to assemble Mutant Force for the job. I contacted Peepers in New York and convinced him to come. Mutant Force's other three members—Lifter, Shocker, and Slither—are all de-powered now thanks to M-Day. They are unavailable. Now, what is the brilliant plan?"
From the floor, Buzz Baxter produces a bottle of whiskey. The old alcoholic opens and drinks deep. He replies, "Smash and grab."
Burner has yet another chuckle, "Smash and grab? Are you kidding me? We're are just going to charge two Avengers and rob them? And, let me point-out that one of them is much more powerful than any of us. Texas Twister can take-down you, I, or especially Peepers. Hell, Shooting Star can probably handle Peepers. His eyes can fire beams back at her guns, but he is no Cyclops."
Peepers knows that he is no Cyclops. But, he is still a little sore. He gives Burner the eye. Beside Calley, Baxter sucks in some scotch.
Burner continues questioning Mad-Dog, "Why are you consuming booze, Buzz? That stuff will only slow you down. Alcohol is not a performance-enhancing drug. Unlike the nicotine that I stole when we stole this jeep from a convenience store lot." The mutant places a fat cigar in his hand, and his powers light it without a match. He sucks on the pungent smoke.
"We could all smoke crack before the action," Peepers suggests wide-eyed.
"You two idiots could have bought some in Dallas when you flew in. You two could be destroying your brains right now," Mad-Dog guzzles brain-eating liquor.
"Currently, Shooting Star and Texas Twister are sitting down to eat. They look very relaxed. They do not look like they suspect that super-villains are sinisterly watching them," Peepers interjects. He gazes through the woods and over the fields.
"Good, they are the perfect targets for a smash and grab then. We can hit them before they know what hits them," Mad-Dog raises a pre-triumphant fist, "I have executed a smash and grab once before. It was very successful. A group of losers and I did it to SHIELD. We took the lawmen by surprise, and they had no time to summon help. Even the Super-Agents of SHIELD did not successfully stop us that day [see Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD # 35]. We stole computers containing all kinds of information. Certain groups will reward people like us for such daring raids. For example, today, we offer the Avengers Initiative information to the Secret Empire, our past mutual employer."
Peepers reminisces, "Those were happy days. The Secret Empire and we frustrated the Defenders again and again. We even took down the New Mutants for good measure [see Defenders #125-130]."
Burner blows some smoke, "You two idiots are forgetting something though. Let us say that we successfully ravage the Rangers and pillage their home. Even if we sack them, Tony Stark's SHIELD will scuttle the stolen Initiative computer once it is taken. The codes will no longer work. The stored information will self-destruct. And, the device's GPS will lead Iron Man and the gang right to us. Typically, any country's intelligence community—including the United States'—protects its hardware this way. An ex-airman, such as you Baxter, should know all of this."
The dog bares his teeth, "I don't care. My source says the computer is still valuable to the Secret Empire under any conditions. I bet th-th-that the organization h-a-a-a-a-as people to re-constitute the d-d-data even if SHIELD f-f-fudges the computer." Vexed Mad-Dog stutters apoplectically.
"Is this source the same one who told you that the Rangers have a secret vacation home in Commerce?" Burner investigates this source.
"Yes, he had inside info on all of the Initiative," Mad-Dog composes slightly, "For example, he knew that Vicki and Drew reside sometimes in this abode just west of town. He knew that Commerce is a friendly place for the Initiative. SHIELD operates at the town's university. They recruit and train there."
"Wait, are you saying that we could have a million SHIELD agents up our asses if those two heroes sound the alarm?" a suddenly-agitated Peepers whines.
Mad-Dog bites into his own lip. He wipes stinging, angry perspiration, and exhales raggedly. He explains, "Like I said, the Rangers will not sound the alarm if we strike quickly. And, we will pounce upon them quickly. This plan will work. It will be my path back into future glory days with the Secret Empire. You two could use some future glory days yourselves." Mad-Dog juts a deadly-sharp finger into Burner's vision.
Burner solemnly concedes, "Like you, Mutant Force has not seen success for a long time. After Professor Power's Secret Empire, we lost Slither to the Serpent Society. Then, scumbag Red Skull exploited the remaining four of us as the Resistants. Then, more recently, the New Warriors totally kicked our hineys [see New Warriors v.2 #6]. Then, Scarlet Witch brutally depowered Lifter and Shocker. Man, just to think. We used to work for Magneto." Burner borrows the whiskey and takes a swig.
Buzz "Mad-Dog" Baxter has a moment with his super-hoodlum acquaintances, "Scumbag leaders can be a problem. They have been my problem too again and again. In my last outings, Dr. Doom, AIM, and Taskmaster have all simply used me. And, bungling team-mates can be a problem. Against the Fantastic Four, Thunderball accidentally knocked me out [see Fantastic Four #335]. Against Alpha Flight, Firebug accidentally took me down [see Alpha Flight #111]. Sometimes, I feel cursed! For crying out loud, the last person to beat me up was some nobody named Siren [see Siren: Infinity #1]! Have you ever even heard of her?"
"Do you mean Siryn with a y? She's a buddy," Peepers softly asks.
"No! Siren who's a nobody!" Mad-Dog barks. Peepers looks at the floor.
"We won't be bungling team-mates," Byron pats Buzz upon the shoulder, "By the way, I finished your whiskey. So, sorry about that."
"Maybe, the two do-gooders have tequila or beer in the house," Mad-Dog dons his mask, "We'll know once we raid them."