trigger warning for death (especially children's), in later chapters.

. . .

"Good morning, this is the Drug Information Services. Malcolm speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hey, Malcolm!"

"Oh, it's you, Jackson. Let me get Annabeth."

"That's Doctor Jackson to you, Pace. I thought you guys were supposed to be polite and professional?"

"And I thought you graduated from med school, which meant that you had some basic knowledge about pharmacology. Yet, you call us everyday."

"Wow, that's kinda harsh, Wise Girl. Besides, pharmacology was hard!"

"I'm a pharmacist, Seaweed Brain. And so is everyone in this room. Do you think we don't know that?"

"Yeah. But it's kinda your thing though. Being drug experts and all."

"Percy. Why did you call in the first place?"

"Oh, yeah. RIPE or RIPES for primary complex?"

"Is it the susceptible strain?"

"Lab tests indicate so."

"Use RIPE. Streptomycin is now a second-line agent anyway."

"Awesome. Thanks, Annabeth. And hey -"

"No."

"Aww. But you haven't even heard of it yet."

"If it's another one of those horrible pick up lines you and Leo make up during your free time -"

"What free time? There's a primary complex outbreak right now because some asshole of a teacher decided to go to school with TB -"

"- Then I don't want to hear it. Besides, it's probably crude and immature anyway."

"...Huh. So it is. Anyway, thanks again!"

. . .

"Good afternoon, this is the Drug Information Services. Malcolm speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hey-"

"Wait a moment."

"What? Malcolm?"

"Not Malcolm. Annabeth here."

"Hey Annabeth. Where did Malcolm go?"

"He's right here. Do you need him for anything?"

"Uh, I just want to ask what else is contraindicated with doxycycline other than milk and antacids?"

"Add iron supplements to the list. I'll call you back in a few minutes to check for more contraindications. What other medicines are you giving the patient?"

"None. ...Wait. You don't know?"

"What don't I know?"

"You don't know all the contraindications of doxycycline!"

"Well, of course I don't! I'm not a walking drug reference!"

"Except for the part that you kinda are. But seriously, usually you'd tell me the answers in five minutes or less."

"Because that's the protocol here. Simple questions should be answered in five minutes or less. Harder questions should be answered before the end of our shift."

"How do you classify simple questions?"

"You know, common ones like route of administration, common adverse reactions, drugs of choice or current therapies, you know, the usual things."

"And harder ones are?"

"Sometimes computations, but not often. Interactions and contraindications usually take a lot of time."

"Huh, I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, thanks!"

"I'll call you in a bit."

"Sure, I'll be waiting in the pedia ward for your call!"

. . .

"Hi! This is the Drug Information Services and Silena speaking!"

"Hi Silena, is -"

"Annabeth! Your boyfriend is on the phone!"

"Boyfriend? When did I become your boyfriend?"

"Either boyfriend or boytoy. Pick your poison."

"I'd rather pick you."

"...Seaweed Brain. This is why they think we're dating. You should stop using your horrible pick up lines on me."

"Who else would I use them on? My mom? My baby sister?"

"Your fanclub?"

"But I don't want them to get the wrong idea!"

"And you think I wouldn't get the wrong idea when you use your cheesy lines on me?"

"You're Annabeth Chase! You'd never get the wrong idea!"

"You can stop laughing now. Besides, why did you call anyway?"

"Uh...insulin? IM or IV?

"For?"

"...Diabetes?"

"Perseus Jackson."

"...I heard that you were having a bad day and I just wanted to check up on you."

"By making up a stupid question?"

"Uh, was I that obvious?"

"Yes."

"Oops."

"You don't sound very sorry."

"Well, you don't so sad anymore. So I'm not sorry."

"Percy..."

"Hey, I have a patient to attend to, so have a nice day, okay?"

"Yeah. You too."

. . .

"This is the Drug Information Services. Katie speaking, how may I help you?"

"Katie? What are you doing there? I thought you're stationed in the CENICU?"

"I needed to get something from the main pharmacy, and since the DIS was along the way, I might as well double check something. By the way, is this Doc Percy?"

"It is. How did you know?"

"Doc, everyone knows you call here everyday. You want me to get Annabeth for you?"

"Anyone from the DIS is fine. Just need to double check something."

"Wait, I'll the give the phone to Annabeth."

"...Wise Girl? I just - is that squealing I hear?"

"No. It. Is. Not. Shut up."

"Uh, I'm not saying anything?"

"Not you, Seaweed Brain. Anyway, your question?"

"The newest newsletter says that tobramycin is used for bacterial conjunctivitis. Why not use broad spectrum antibiotics?"

"Recent epidemiological studies show that it's usually the gram-negative strain that cause bacterial conjunctivitis. It's all in the newsletter. Did you not read the newsletter?"

"Haven't had time to read it between the MRSA outbreak and the hysterical mother who thinks her son's gonna die from sore eyes."

"You're joking. ...You're not joking, I can hear her hysterics over the screaming in here."

"Yeah... She's a new mother and her son hasn't stopped crying."

"I see."

"Anyway, thanks for the info. Gotta go, Wise Girl!"

. . .

"Uh, good morning...? This is the Drug Information Services?"

"Good morning to you, too. By the way, you forgot to introduce yourself and offer your help."

"Oh, sorry. I, um, I'm Lacy. How may I help you?"

"Better! But you need to be more confident, Lacy! People call you guys in the DIS because they need help. If you don't sound sure about what you're saying, how can they be sure that you're saying the right thing? And in our line of business, we always have to sound sure and confident, even if we are not."

"Doesn't that mean that we're lying to them?"

"No. I would never condone lying to the patient or their families, nor offering false reassurances. But sounding confident means that you're offering strength in their time of weakness. No matter what you feel, you have to put the patients' comfort first."

"Do patients call here too?"

"They do. But usually it's doctors and nurses and other health professionals who need verification about drugs."

"Eep. But I'm just an intern. Why would people look to me for answers?"

"Because you're a pharmacist intern, which makes you an expert on drugs. That's why we ask you guys."

"...our? Wait. You mean you're a doctor? Omigosh. Are you Doctor Jackson? I, uh, wait a moment."

"Lacy? What's wrong?"

"That's what I was supposed to ask you. What did you do to my intern, Seaweed Brain?"

"Nothing! I was just talking to her, telling her to sound more confident because she's the one we look for information and it sounds kinda dubious if she sounds unsure of what she's saying."

"Percy, why are you lecturing my intern on how to answer calls?"

"I wasn't lecturing her. Just giving her advice. Why did she give the phone to you?"

"I have no idea. Give me a moment. ...Well, apparently Silena and Malcolm told her that if you're on the phone, she should pass the phone to me."

"Really? It's a policy in the DIS now?"

"No. Because I say so."

"Sure, Supreme Overlord. Hey, Wise Girl, can you give the phone back to Lacy?"

"Why?"

"Is that jealousy I hear?"

"No, what you hear is distrust because I do not trust you not to corrupt my intern, Jackson."

"Relax, I'm just going to ask her a simple question. To build up her confidence."

"What's your question?"

"What?"

"What's your question so that I know how to help her when she searches for answers."

"I think I'm gonna ask her about the pedia dose for tetracycline."

"Okay, sounds fairly simple enough. Age?"

"Seven."

"Percy."

"I know tetracylcine is not for kids, Wise Girl. Cut me some slack. I'm not gonna give it to anyone, just wanna practice her answering skills."

"Okay then."

"Hey, Wise Girl?"

"What, Seaweed Brain?"

"You must not be an apple."

"What?"

"Because you're not keeping me away."

"I thought you and Leo were too busy to with the outbreak to think up of stupid pick up lines."

"I'm never too busy to think of lines that make you laugh, Wise Girl."

. . .

random self-indulgent fic for fandom bingo by cwyscross. some explanations for medical jargon below. review/message if you want more explanations. :3

- dis = drug information services, where people can call to ask questions about drugs.
- primary complex - tuberculosis/tb in kids that's not infectious.
- ripe/ripes = standard tb treatment. means rifampicin, isoniazid, pyrazinamide, ethambutol. s=streptomycin, which is a second line agent according to some sources (which basically means internet and professors. i trust my profs about these kinds of things.)
- insulin can be given via im (intramuscularly) or iv (intravenously) but only in the hospital under the supervision of health professionals.
- cenicu = central intensive care unit. if the hospital is big enough, it has several icu, like nicu (neonatal) and such.
- mrsa = methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, a bacterial infection that is resistant to a lot of antibiotics.

thanks for dropping by.

also, talk to me on tumblr: cole-lection