Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Everything belongs to USA Network and Jeff Eastin.
Author's Note: Thanks to the story line this is M-rated because of …..oh come do I really need to explain it, when Neal has to pose as stripper?
This story is written by two authors so don't wonder when the writing style differs. We started it back in February so some things may appear different than it is in the show. We took the freedom to be creative here and there. It starts of around after episode 4x11.
And Sara shippers be warned. We don't like her and since she and Neal never really became a couple for sure we put her out of it. So if you like Sara you better move on or give it a try.
1.
Neal was sure he was in trouble even if it wasn't his fault he would be late this morning. He still asked himself how Mozzie could get a hold of two crates of the whiskey they forged for a case a while back. Unfortunately Mozzie knew Neal good enough to know he would only talk about his father when he was drunk and his curiosity was worse than his paranoia. So the number of questions about Neal's father increased with the level of blood alcohol. And now Neal overslept, had a serious hangover and was on his way to work without any drop of coffee. Peter already called him a couple of times and the last thing Neal needed now was a lecture about drinking too much whiskey. He hid his fatigue behind sun glasses and grabbed the next cab.
Like he had foreseen the whole team was already gathered in the conference room. He tried to slip in without attracting attention but didn't miss the evil glare Peter shot him.
"A pleasure to have you finally around, Neal."
"An honor as always. Do we have a new case?"
"Yes, it's about Francesco Basile. He is our prime suspect of running a Ponzi Scheme and owning stolen art from World War 2nd. The organized crime unit also suspects him to have some connections to the N'drangheta . A photo of him is in your file."
"He looks like a sleazy owner of a night club," Neal said with a disdainfully tone, "Really bad style."
"That's his cover. He owns a night club in Soho."
"So prostitution too?" Jones asked.
"Not the we know of."
"Like it's not abasing for women to rub their breasts on metal bars," Diana threw in.
"That's too profane for Mr Basile. He owns a good running men's strip club."
"Did someone already take a look at it?" Diana asked suddenly interested.
"Like this isn't abasing or exploitation to put money into nearly naked and complete strangers pants."
"Neal, women want their fun too and this is just equal rights for everybody."
"We haven't found a way to get to him so we need to send someone undercover. The problem is Basile only employs Italian or Italian-American guys for his business transactions," Peter explained.
"Is he in need of an investor or a business partner?"
"Unfortunately not but we found something really interesting on his website," Jones replied with a big grin.
"An employment ad."
"They are looking for new "dancers". We just need someone to send in."
Neal needed a moment till he realized everybody was looking at him.
"You have to be kidding me."
"Why not?"
"Why don't you apply for it, Jones?"
"My recent girlfriend would kill me. This body is all hers."
"You know I am up for everything crazy, weird, strange and dangerous to get access to a suspect but that's too much."
"What's the problem, Neal? Feeling inferior?"
"No but that's just not my way to work."
"Not? You take every chance to flirt with a woman within a radius of half a mile."
"Peter, yes, I flirt, I am charming but I don't strip. I was taught to be a gentleman and you need to let me go of my leash for a very long time."
"We did this already a couple of times and you never ran away. Ok except for your unplanned Caribbean holiday."
"I just don't want to do it. Don't you have a probie fresh out of Quantico who can do it?"
"We need someone with experience and no clueless probie."
"And they really want a dancer and no barkeeper?"
"No, they need a dancer who voluntarily puts himself up to sexual exploitation and gets money put into his pants by hysterical screaming and drunk women."
"Diana, for someone who was against it just ten minutes ago you are all in it now."
"Oh come on, Neal, it's easy. You don't even need to con someone. You simply need to use your body."
"Did you even think about the possibility I can't dance?"
"With all the talents the great Neal Caffrey calls his own it should lack of dancing skills?"
"Peter, I know I was late and I am utterly sorry for this but isn't this a harsh penalty?"
"We don't have anyone else who can do it."
"Can I think about it? Give me the case file and if I find a way to get another kind of access to Basile the whole stripper idea is gone with the wind."
"Okay."
Neal took the case file and went to his desk. Peter was fine with him taking it home and so it didn't take long till Mozzie appeared at his doorstep.
"I kept my ears and eyes open but this guy really only accepts Italian employees. Why is it so important?"
"We need to find a way in and the only way at the moment is impossible."
"Why?"
"The club is looking for new dancers and the team wants me to go undercover as one."
Mozzie was about to pour himself a glass of wine and almost spilled it over the ground because he started laughing.
"That's fantastique. Are they serious?"
"Yes,", Neal said pretty contrite.
"So explain me why are we searching for another way in?"
"Moz, I am not going to strip."
"Why? The clubs profit will increase like crazy. Basile will have a new cash cow."
"That's not my style."
"Take it as a challenge," Mozzie chuckled.
"Easy to say. You are not the one who has to undress."
"Neal, it's just a cover."
"Which makes me literally loose my pants, no thanks. I may sound stupid but even with all the cons and heists I kept being a gentleman or at least tried it."
"What are you going to lose if you pose like a stripper?"
"It makes me feel weird."
"There is more about it, mon frère."
"Oh please stop, Moz. I won't answer anymore private questions and I am not up to drink more whiskey. I was already late today and I need to take a serious look into the files."
Neal turned to the papers.
"It's because of Ellen, isn't it?"
Sometimes he hated it Mozzie knew him so well.
"She watched with me these old movies where men behave respectful and decent towards women. She taught me these virtues and I still feel responsible for her death... it's like I betray her and everything she taught me and how she raised me."
"But she knew how important working with the feds is for you and that you have this talent to make people believe whatever you want them to. And I am sure the fact you might need to undress in front of a bunch of crazy hormonally driven women won't change your personality or the man she taught you to be."
"How...?"
"I have to admit I visited her after we saw her that one day. I was curious what she could tell about you as a child."
"Behind my back...?"
"Neal, your life and past is a bigger secret than mine and I think Ellen was happy she could talk to someone and tell for whom she became a surrogate mother."
Neal sighed.
"I wish I could spend more time with her but after I run away it was difficult with her staying in Witsec and me being on the run."
"But it didn't keep her from speaking highly of you. She was proud of you."
"But there is another problem."
"That would be?"
"I can't dance."
"You could tell that the feds but not me."
"How do you want to know I am lying?"
"Your first date with Maya back in the Caribbean."
"You followed us?"
"Yes and what I saw in that little bar is far away from "I can't dance" the way you danced salsa."
"You watched us?"
"Neal, we were on the run and you know, good looking women always meant trouble in your life. Especially when they make you fall for them head over heels."
"Moz, if you tell that Peter..."
"The suit knows you well enough to know you can dance."
Neal looked at his friend and shook his head.
"We need to find another way."
"What ever you want...but I bet a lot of women would love to see you strip for them and would pay a lot of money for it."
"It's the last option. Only if there is no other way."