(Takes place just after Rosalie's call to Edward in New Moon. Disclaimer on my profile.)
Life was unbearable. One thing after another keeps going wrong. No matter what I did I couldn't protect the reason for my existence.
I had known her for only a few weeks when I fell in love with her. She was the most beautiful creature on earth, so warm and fragile. I fell in love with her silky mahogany hair, her rich chocolate eyes, and the tantalizing blush that stained her cheeks. Isabella Swan was the center of my universe, as soon as I realized that she was my soul mate, I knew that I could never live in a world in which Bella didn't exist.
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"Edward?"
"I don't understand what you are saying, Rosalie."
A long pause, the length of a few human heartbeats.
"She's dead, Edward."
A longer pause.
"I'm… sorry. You have a right to know, though, I think. Bella… threw herself off a cliff two days ago.
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Those word uttered by my sister Rosalie just a few minutes ago had turned my world upside down and ripped it to shreds. I couldn't believe what she had said, I wouldn't. I would prove her wrong, and when I got my hands on her I would slowly wring her neck, before tearing her head off.
I picked up my phone again and turned it back on. I decided to call the one number I had sworn never to call again. Rosalie was just playing a cruel joke on me, I told my self, desperately hoping that I was right.
"Swan residence," answered a voice I'd never heard before. A man's husky voice, deep, but still youthful.
I didn't pause to think about the implications of that.
"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen," I said, perfectly imitating my father's voice. "May I please speak to Charlie?"
"He's not here," the voice responded, and I was dimly surprised by the anger in it. The words were almost a snarl. But that didn't matter.
"Well, where is he then?" I demanded, getting impatient.
There was a short pause, as if the stranger wanted to withhold the information from me.
"He's at the funeral,"
I immediately snapped the phone shut again. Impossible, Rosalie was right. What had I done? Bella, my sweet innocent Bella was dead? Why? Rosalie had said that Bella killed herself? It is all my fault. How could I be such a fool? She was mine and I let her go; I forced her into a choice that she didn't want, and now she's dead.
You must have been in a place so dark, you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Bella had always been so sweet and loving. She didn't deserve to be in pain no matter for how long; and I had put her through pain for the last several months. Alice had warned me that Bella wouldn't take my family leaving well. However, I convinced myself that her pain would be fleeting and that she would get over me. I was wrong; Bella was in pain the whole time. My love had eventually decided that she couldn't take it anymore and had chosen the fastest way out of her pain.
As I sat in the attic space, I started to daydream about the times that Bella and I would joke and play around in our meadow. There in our secret sanctuary, the two of us could be ourselves without anyone disturbing us. I could be alone in my mind since I could never hear her thoughts. Although I longed to know what she was thinking, the silence was a peaceful retreat. Not to mention the fact that Bella didn't want me to hear her.
Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
And, was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' a troubled soul
Oh, god only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
I imagined what it would be like to go back to her funeral. Obviously, I would not be able to actually show my face. Without a doubt, Charlie and Renée know that I am the reason that Bella killed herself. I will not put them through the pain of having to see me there.
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear
A mockingbird sings
This old world really ain't that bad a place
But could I handle just standing there watching as they lower my reason for living down into the ground. I don't think that I could. What I wanted was to join my love in eternity, I had to. It was in that moment that I chose my own path. And now there would only be a short time before my own pain would go up in flames. The phone I was still holding immediately was thrown into a garbage bin. I didn't want to talk to anyone anymore. The next person that I planned to talk to was the one that could put me out of my misery. Aro. Don't worry Bella, I'm coming love.
Oh, why? 'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song Your beautiful song
There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question:
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong
They lied
And now you're gone
And we cry
Your absolutely beautiful song
I set off for my destination, running at full speed. It would all be over soon. I made my way into the walled city of Volterra, and into the building where I could find my end. Soon I would be at peace with the one I love…