A/N: for Beth (Poet on the Run)! Because it was her birthday yesterday and I promised her a Dandy (Dana/Andy…which I already posted: "Fine & Dandy") and a Jess. So here's the Jess! HAPPY BIRHTDAY BETH!

Happy reading to all!

angellwings

Disappointment

By angellwings

You're always disappointing someone.

It was a fact of life, and something Tess had learned the hard way. No matter what she did someone ended up hurt and usually because of her. If she lost a jam her mom was disappointed. If she won the other side ended up disappointed. Camp Wars? She won and yet that win resulted in guilt and remorse. It wasn't a win she preferred to think about.

So, she'd come to the conclusion that you're always disappointing someone.

And she hated it.

She'd worked hard in the past to win jams. She'd been selfish and cruel because she thought that's what it took to win. And she'd thought winning would make her mother proud. And being proud of someone meant you weren't disappointed, right?

Wrong.

There was no point. Why did she even try?

"Tess?" A voice asked from a few feet behind her.

She tried to ignore it. He knew this was where she went when she wanted to be alone. This clearing was the one spot that was hers.

"Tess, did you hear me?"

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "What is it, Jason?"

"You looked upset," Jason said with a nervous gulp.

"So you decided to stalk me?" Tess asked in a flat tone.

"I thought you might like some company," Jason said sheepishly with a blush.

Tess smirked at that. "You're a bad liar, Gray. You know I come out here to be alone."

"You like to be alone a lot," Jason said sadly.

"Yeah, well, it's better that way," Tess told him.

Jason shook his head. "I don't think it is."

"Whatever, Jason," Tess said with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm serious," Jason told her. "I don't think its better that you spend so much time alone out here. You're pushing everyone away, and that's never good."

"I can't hurt anyone if I push them away," Tess said honestly. "So, it's better this way."

"What makes you think that?" Jason asked in surprise.

"I can't do anything right. Someone always ends up disappointed. I figure if I'm here, alone, I can't disappoint anyone."

"Who have you disappointed?"

"Well, in the past two summers alone I've managed to disappoint Brown, Ella, Peggy, Mitchie, You, your brothers, Axel Turner, Luke, …my mom. Everyone," Tess said as she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"What are you talking about? You haven't disappointed me," Jason told her with a furrowed brow.

"Oh, come on, Jase," Tess scoffed. "I didn't disappoint you when I left camp? Or when I performed with Camp Star and beat you?"

"No," Jason told her. "You were nice about it. Really, you weren't like Luke, who was trying to rub it in our faces as often as he could. You were very…sportsmanlike. Although, I'm not sure that term can apply to music competitions."

"That doesn't make sense," Tess said with a sigh.

"No, what doesn't make sense is the fact that you care about other people being disappointed in you. Honestly, as long as you're proud of yourself what does anyone else's opinion matter?" Jason asked as he scooted closer to where she sat. "I mean, are you proud of winning Camp Wars?"

Tess bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Yes."

"Is there any reason you shouldn't be proud? Did you, personally, cheat or lie to win?" Jason asked her.

She shook her head. "No."

"Okay, then great!" Jason said brightly. "Be proud of it. I won't mind. You really were amazing out on that stage. You're very talented, and no matter how any one else on your team acted…and once I got passed my own issues…I was very proud of you too. You deserve praise for your accomplishments Tess. No matter how big or small they are."

"Small?" Tess asked curiously. "What's a small accomplishment?"

"Coming back here after Camp Wars and asking Brown if you could come back permanently. That was a small but brave accomplishment. You admitted you were wrong about Camp Star. That's a big thing. It shows that you've grown, Tess," Jason said with a smile. "That's good. And you don't seem to mind being a counselor this summer. That's growth too! Think back on Tess from two summers ago…would she have agreed to teach other kids? Would she have had the patience for that?"

Tess smiled softly and shook her head. "No, definitely not."

"Right, so see? That's something to be proud of," Jason told her pleasantly. "Forget what anyone else thinks and just focus on being proud of yourself. Do what you think is right and good, and you'll make everyone around you proud. I promise."

Tess slid over and closed the last bit of distance between them until her should brushed up against Jason's. She smiled slowly and turned to look at him. "You really think so?"

He nodded confidently. "I know so."

"You're very sweet, Jason. Do you know that?" Tess asked as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

He chuckled and blushed. "I've been told."

"Well, it's true," Tess said quietly as she leaned toward him and placed a slow lingering kiss on his cheek. She pulled away and looped her arm through his. "Thank you, Jason. That was exactly what I needed to hear right now."

His blush deepened and he had to clear his throat before he could speak again. "You're welcome, Tess. I—I'm here to listen anytime."