A/N: Greetings. :D This oneshot was inspired by the song 'Howl' by Florence + the Machine, as you may have noticed in the title, and is my entry for the Zutara Week 2013 prompt, "Soothe". It's a bit abstract but I really enjoyed writing it – the Zuko description in the beginning made me blush a bit. :P I do hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Seriously, nothing copyrighted is mine. Cool?

The Beast Howls

Zutara Week 2013
Theme 6: Soothe

Katara would be a liar if she said that she did not like Zuko's body.

Not strictly in the sexual, naughty-conversations-with-friends-over-melon-juic e kind of way, although she did. No, her appreciation for his body had more depth, if she could call it that. Save for his scar, his skin was smooth, pale with hints of the Fire Nation sun shining in it, a refreshing contrast to her hazel complexion – a symbol of the breaking of barriers between the nations created by the War, the coming together of elements and their respective nations; they were diverse, they were special, they were fire and water, and this difference was never a hindrance or a cause for discomfort. However, where the majority of his body was the opposite of rough, his hands were calloused, providing a sinful friction whenever he ran them along her bare skin. His fingers were long and elegant and warm, never failing to make her smile when they interlaced with hers – ah, he was warm as a whole, giving her a sense of sureness and comfort simply by standing near. There were many obvious things she could call to mind – his dark hair falling in that perfect way, his sharp yet pleasing looks, his masculine form and the way he towered over her when they kissed. But it was those smaller, aforementioned things that she also liked about him, that were somehow more difficult to mention in normal conversation with Suki.

Yet he did not belong to her, even though she felt like she belonged to him.

She enjoyed their relationship, even when they fought. It was turbulent, it was passionate; they had the most interesting conversations even though they challenged each other at every turn. Given their similar yet clashing personalities, it was healthy. Or at least they thought it was. Outsiders would not understand. There were calmer times, when the churning sea would still and sweeten; when he would press his forehead to hers and fix her with a gaze that held a meaning only for her knowledge, or in the tender moments after they made love in which they would lie cocooned in each other's arms, fading into sleep with only the gentle sounds of their breathing. He never denied that they belonged to each other; that their complicated, intricate relationship was love; that they held a connection so deep that delicious physicality was not at all the foundation holding them together.

Of course he did not deny that. But it still did not chase away the bitter truth that he was engaged to someone else.

The arrangement had been in place since he and the girl were children, so that they had the freedom to court whomever they wished in the meantime – but would ultimately have to marry one another. Ever since meeting for the first time a month or so ago, the Fire Sages had grown eager and impatient to begin the marital process. And in turn since then, Katara had not been able to rest as well as she should have. It had been years since the War ended and peace had finally been restored to the world – Katara and Zuko had progressed from enemies, to reluctant allies, to willing allies, to friends, and ultimately to lovers. She was well aware that he was engaged to someone else, just as Mai had been during her and Zuko's short relationship; whereas Mai didn't care to fight for it anymore, Katara now did. Plus, he did not know the girl. He did not love her. He was adamant about ending the arrangement. That solid fact alone should have been a comfort to Katara.

But the time was growing nearer for the Fire Sages to set in motion the marital process, and the waterbender was beginning to feel more and more that he was slipping from her reach. It did not help that the Sages were stubborn, traditional, and firmly against ending an agreement that had been in place for so long. Zuko had tried on many occasions to discuss it with them but was met with disdain and refusal, always tossing at him the uproar it would cause within the nobility.

And all the while, Katara found herself dwindling every time they were apart. Before she had experienced a relationship, she would not have pegged herself as the jealous type – that is, until being smacked in the face by envy upon seeing Aang and his fan club. This time, though, it was so much different… She was afflicted with a jealousy so monstrous, so intense, that it took anything to set off her temper and force hot tears to her eyes. It was the darkest emotion she had ever felt – a surging blackness that could rival the emotions felt when she confronted the killer of her mother.

"I hardly blame you, Katara. You've been faced with the reality that you could lose the one you love. It isn't easy, and I'm surprised you're holding it together so well."

Suki, one of the few who knew about the relationship, had been partly right – sometimes, the reality was too much to bear. She could not lose him; she would not be able to manage it… When the waterbender was by herself, letting her mind drift onto that topic, that darkness swelled and crested within her like a wave. She would throw things. She would slam her fist into the wall, anything to get her mind off of it, transfer and channel the pain of the truth, only to end up erupting into messy tears and sobs and sinking to the carpeted floor of her bedroom. And this was also the reason why Suki was wrong: Katara was most certainly not holding it together easily. Perhaps, in masking the relationship from the rest of the world, she had mastered the art of acting…

It would never be easy.

This was not a matter of lust, this was not a simple childhood crush, this was not just some primal desire to establish ownership of somebody… This was a perversion of the purity and earnestness of their love – because the arranged engagement had now been solidified by the meeting of Zuko and the other girl, his relationship with Katara would be dubbed no more than an affair, a scandalous, adulterous tryst. Or if he were to be forced to marry the other girl, but kept a relationship with Katara, their equal footing would be demolished – she would be reduced to the Fire Lord's mistress, maybe even so far as to be called his concubine. It undermined all that they were. It destroyed all that they were; all of their traits put together – namely pride, stubbornness, and refusal to give up – did not allow them to let go of each other so easily. She would never just let that happen. She would never just go on with her life as if he meant nothing to her. She would never, never, never…

And so the emotions charged through her relentlessly, unbearably stronger when they were apart. It was then that she felt he was most out of her grasp, and the thought that he could be out there, interacting with this alien girl, possibly developing a friendship with her and therefore growing more reluctant to maim her by cutting off the agreement to which she had probably faithfully devoted herself… It made Katara feel ill. It was not a phenomenon she had ever experienced. It was as if she had morphed into a monster, a bloodthirsty thing that could not be appeased. When she was not with him, she knew it was foolish but she felt like she could not be sure, like he truly was not hers. She was scared but angry – a howling, raging beast that could not be soothed… Except there was one thing, one time, whereby the beast was tamed and she was soothed and reassured: When Zuko was with her.

Katara would be a liar if she said that she did not like Zuko's body, for his very physical presence chased away all the darkness and negativity. The feeling of being enveloped in his arms as he pressed his scarred cheek to her smooth hair, with her head resting against his steady, familiar heartbeat… She was no longer wild and untamed and broken – she felt whole when he was there, as if there was a light shining beneath her skin. It was ironic, she thought, that someone with the power of fire could soothe her – but that was his very essence, and perhaps that explained the innate feeling of sunshine throughout her being when they were together. Everything felt right. She did not wallow, fret, doubt or cry, because she knew that it would all come together.

But she also did not remember when she had become so dependent on him for her sanity. Yes, the beast was subdued when they were together, but it was still present, hiding away in the recesses of her mind, hungrily lapping up and drinking in all that he had to offer – momentarily occupied enough to allow gladness to pervade her. Thus when he was gone, the darkness returned and the beast howled once more, starved and furious and on the prowl. There was an immense strain on her life, something she could not obliterate as long as Zuko was promised to someone else.

"I can't believe it's taking this long to sort out. Frankly, Sweetness, you put up with too much. It's time you were selfish for a change and fought even harder for him."

Katara decided that it was time she heeded Toph's blunt but wise advice. She could not live with the beast tormenting her, pushing her farther to the limits of her sanity. Those she held in affection were already worrying about her, having sensed the change in her, and she did not want to hurt them, either. They needed to end this, once and for all.

"Katara, there's something -"

She faced him, arms stiff at her sides, fists clenched. "Wait. Before you go on, I need to make something clear. Zuko… I've been patient, and I've been patient for a long time. I mean it when I say that I can't go on living like this as long as you're getting married to someone else, and I can't rest knowing that it can't be broken off. For the entire War, I've been selfless. I've given up a lot and I've put my own happiness on the line for the greater good. But I won't do that now. I deserve to be selfish and I deserve to fight for my happiness – and you are my happiness. If the Fire Sages deny us again, I will march up to them myself and challenge them, even if I could get myself killed or imprisoned or…"

"Katara…"

Unable to help them, burning tears bloomed in her eyes, and she continued quietly. "Or if you don't want to break it off… If you don't feel like it anymore or you're just giving up… then how can I make you realise that no one can make you happy but me?"

Suddenly his hands gripped her wrists, pulling her to him, giving her a glimmer of familiarity in connection with a faraway past wherein he had offered to save her from pirates. "Katara, stop. If you seriously think I'd let you go this easily, you're insane – or you don't know me as well as I thought. You make me feel more than happy, and there will never be anyone like you. And if you wish to, I'd like you to accompany me tomorrow to inform the Sages of our own engagement."

The softness of his tone, coupled with his weak smile, would have melted her – if it were not for the implications of his words freezing her in place.

"…What?"

A chuckle, followed by a sombre yet nervous look. "That was my surprise for you. Before, I thought I could handle this on my own, but I finally decided to talk to them with my uncle and the girl herself. It's taken a lot of time and convincing and insisting, but it was worth it, because… Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, I'm free, and that means I want to marry you. So… uh… do you want to marry me?"

"I… Zuko… yes." The word left her on a breath as she flung her arms over his shoulders, luxuriating in his warmth as his arms tightened around her waist and he buried his face in her hair.

His lips were at her ear, voice quiet and serious and thoughtful when he spoke. "I owe you an apology. I-I don't know how to express how sorry I am… For taking this long to end it and thinking it would be easy when it came down to it, for making you suffer… everything. I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you. I'm marrying you, aren't I?" She pressed a tender kiss to his scarred cheek and felt him hold her tighter. She angled her head so she could murmur in his ear. "I love you."

Zuko smiled faintly, glad that her tears had become those of elation. "I love you too."

Then the waterbender realised something, much later, when he had departed to his own chambers. She lay in disbelief beneath her sheets as the moon waxed in the night sky, a slender hand fingering the ice blue gem attached to rich, scarlet Fire Nation silk resting above her heart – a marital necklace Zuko had carved for her in the tradition of the Water Tribe. It had been a while since he left her presence, after promising such precious and relieving things – but even though they were apart, the beast within her no longer hungered for him as it used to.

In fact, the beast no longer existed. The warmth and light usually shining through her only when he was securely in her presence now remained even when he was not. The beast had been sated – and destroyed. Now he was promised to her; now she could continue to be his and he could truly, safely be hers. A person whose power dictated passion and fierceness and fire had managed to heal her like nothing else ever could, bringing her a sense of peace even greater than the conclusion of the War had. Where before his presence only provided her with momentary relief, his promise was enough to chase away the fear, doubt and misery. Her soul, her entire being, had been soothed…

Thus… the beast howled no more.

A/N:

Thank you very much for reading! :D I hope you enjoyed this weird little piece and didn't find it too dreadful/confusing/etc. :P Let me know what you think?

Not really sure what else to say… Yay for Zutara fluff moments! So… yup.

Until next time!

~SuperSonic Violet