Empty Spaces

Kensi and Deeks are lying in between the sheets of Kensi's queen size brown divan bed on a foggy Saturday night.

With a six day case filled with more than enough assault weapons, sleeping at the OPS center and take out every night (not a problem in Kensi's case and definitely a problem in Sam's case), both agents had called it for a night at Kensi's apartment. Deeks, who Kensi believes decided to stay at her house out of pure laziness, is snoring peacefully next to Kensi. The brunette agent is lying nearly perfectly still as she watches the ceiling fan blow sticky air around the room.

He smells like the ocean and sand…..and everything beautiful. As she watches the fan, the same silly thoughts run through her mind. A shaggy haired warm, perfect partner.

"I'm so hungry that I could die," Deeks mutters. Kensi raises her head and smirks at the supposedly sleeping Deeks. It's the third time since coming to Kensi's apartment and he's 0-3 in actually doing something about him.

My everything is lying next to me. Kensi can feel the faintest tear forming in her eyes. She chuckles softly and thinks back to Sidarov, Afghanistan and even the stray bullet that nearly hit Deeks during the firefight early that morning. I'm lying next to my everything and he doesn't even know it.

Deeks shifts suddenly and moves his arm over his face. It's at the moment when Kensi says breathlessly, " I love you."

And hears a clearly faked snore in response.

What? Five years of everything and anything- sunshine and gunpowder and love stories- were wrapped into those three little words and Deeks snores in response. Maybe he was just screwing with me-

There's suddenly a squeeze of her hand that nearly stops her heart. Deeks continues to lie with his arm over his face as if he were still faking sleeping, but now has his fingers enlaced with hers. His squeeze says so much more than she had expected- it gives his fears and reluctance to open the gates into who he truly is to her. Just like her, it's a high probability that no one has gotten as close as she has into his heart.

He's just like me. She sighs when she remembers her worries and her guards, but the selfishness she feels towards of not pushing to push past his. He wants to happily ever after, he uses his humor as a coping mechanism and he has an abusive past. Everything else about him is empty space that she realizes that she needs to fill before I love you can be said and meant.

So she changes her beat. Kensi takes his hand in here and kisses it gently. Still feigning sleep, Deeks' arms tense quickly when Kensi pulls his arm towards her and wraps it around her body. She rolls onto her side and brings his hand close to her.

"I love you, Marty Deeks, and all the empty spaces in your life that I don't know about. And I promise you this, I'll fill in those spaces, no matter how long it takes."

"You can't," she hears back in a sob. He opens his eyes and looks up to the ceiling. "There's too much- Kens, I'm…damaged."

"So am I." She smiles and nearly laughs aloud at how both of them will probably miss tonight's sleep. "Plus, I dare you to stop me."

Deeks suddenly shoots forward on the bed and rests his arms on his knees. He rubs his chin with two fingers and mutters, "Are you sure want to?"

Kensi pats the area on the bed behind him. "Lay down and talk to me," she says.

"So rude…." Deeks replies. He lays down onto his side and looks over at his beautiful partner. "So where should I begin?"

"I've always been a fan of starting from the beginning."

The End