By Sonic Angel
Disclaimer: Don't own EVA. All I own is Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida
"Tokyo, Japan. The kind of town where many evil lurks in the darkness, the kind of evil that you don't want to meet in a dark alley. My name is Shinji Ikari. I'm a detective. I run a detective agency for hire with my friends Touji Suzuhara, Kensuke Aida, and Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida. This is our story."
It was a normal, definitely boring, absolutely no-case business day for our detective agency. The sky was blue, a few clouds were hanging around, and we could as well have closed shop and hung out, played video games on the arcade and gone home. But then again, we're not normal young kids. We happen to be detectives. The top detectives in the private sector, and we're all just teens to boot. Normal, in Tokyo, the eastern version of San Francisco, home of anime, Japanimation, Japanese animation, right? Normal, heh, what is your definition of normal when one friend is a loudmouth, the other is a military know-it-all and the final one was once a secret agent for MI-6 and served in the UN without you knowing it and saved your life, then, vanished without a trace?
Touji yelled, "I WANT MONEY! I WANT A CASE, ALREADY!"
Kensuke sighed, "It's been a few days since we last had a case."
I replied, "Touji, be quiet. As for you Kensuke, you're right. Halo, what is your opinion on this?"
Our mysterious confidant smiled, "I hear that NERV is having some problems with those Angels punks."
Touji yelled, "WHAT? DAISUKE, DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAD JUST SUGESSTED? ARE YOU SUGESSTING THAT WE TAKE A CASE FROM A TOP-SECRET BIOTECH COMPANY THAT DOES EXPERIMENTS WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT? DAISUKE, ARE YOU INSANE?"
Then, a voice calmly called out, "We are not entirely top-secret, Touji Suzuhara."
Three young women walked in to our office. Three of the most beautiful, important looking, (Touji: Did I mention hot?) women we had ever laid our eyes upon. And they were all sporting NERV badges, because the worked for NERV (Daisuke: DUH!). Touji was gaping romantically and naughtily at the black haired woman. Kensuke and me could only widen our eyes in amazement. Daisuke was the only one who talked. He said, "Whoa."
The black-haired woman was Misato, one of NERV's top biotech executives.
The red-haired one happened to be Asuka Langely, one of the top scientists working on NERV's latest covert EVA project.
The blue-haired young lady was none other than her mysterious, secretive, yet beautiful associate, who happens to have lack of feelings, Rei Ayanmi.
Touji whistled, while looking very naughtily at Misato, (Daisuke: Did I forget to mention Touji has a mountain load of hentai magazines at his room?) "Hello, Nurse." And that's when Daisuke threw a banana cream pie at him.
Touji cleared his face and pouted, "Very funny, Ishida."
Misato asked, "So I take it that you three are the four famed Ikari detectives for hire?"
I nervously stammered, "Uh… Yes… Yes we are…"
Daisuke took over by smiling, "Yes, we are. We are the four detectives that make up the Ikari Detective Agency, we take on any case as long as it's legitimate and doesn't break any laws."
Misato smiled, "I can assure you gentlemen, that this case is legitimate."
Touji sighed, "A promise by a biotech company that does experiments half the world doesn't know about, and we get to take a case by them. Whoop-de-doo. Hooray for us."
Daisuke grinned, "Well, Touji you did ask for a case, did you not?"
Touji's cheeks began to turn 5 shades of red, and then, he smiled, "Well, of course, I did. God must be smiling on us, gentlemen!"
Kensuke sighed, "He only gets that when there's beautiful girls around. Sheesh, Daisuke, if Touji was not interested in Pokémon, I swear, he's the real live version of Brock."
Touji screamed, "I AM NOT BROCK!"
Asuka asked, "Does he always yell?"
Daisuke answered, "Unfortunately, yes."
I regained my composure and asked, "What is this case about?"
Asuka explained, "We need your help. The Angels gang has declared its war on all of humankind and we need you to help us stop it."
Kensuke offered, "We have 4 detectives for hire. Our so-called 'leader', the shy one of our group, his name's Shinji Ikari. There's also our resident 'Lady-killer' loudmouth Touji. My name's Kensuke Aida, I'm the resident military fanatic, and finally, the mysterious one, his name's Daisuke 'Halo' Ishida, a former MI-6 secret agent and Japan's UN Ambassador who knows nothing about his past, and has a personal score with the Angels."
Misato quipped, "Shinji, Touji, Daisuke, you're coming with us."
Kensuke smiled, "I will keep this agency as our Central Command. I'll take care of this place. I will not let you down, sir!"
Daisuke laughed, "If it weren't for the fact that you're short and have no military experience, as well as for not having being bulked up, Kensuke, you would've been a great soldier or general in the army."
Kensuke smiled, "Thank you, sir! I shall defend this agency with my life, sir!"
Misato laughed, "What enthusiasm!"
"We'll do whatever we can, ma'am. And I'll do anything for you, Misato." That, of course, was Touji. Other than the fact that Touji is a complete and total loudmouth, he lives mostly in a fantasy world where he fancies himself as a lady-killer and a ladies' man! Daisuke grabbed something from his desk and pulled it out. He calls this, his 'Reality Mallet.' Carries with him 24/7, 365 days a year. In case Touji begins or is already in his fantasy world.
Daisuke grinned evilly, "Time to get you back in reality, Touji." He then whacked Touji and he cried, "Please, Daisuke, just a few more hours! Please!"
Daisuke smiled, "Hello! Earth to Touji! We are in a place called reality, here! Not in some fantasy realm where you always get the ladies, man!"
I grinned, "You're right, as always, Daisuke."
Misato sighed, "Does he always do that?"
Daisuke laughed, "What, fantasizes being a ladies man, a lady-killer, a 'player'? Yeah, Misato, he does. That's why I carry my 'Reality Mallet', and an almost endless supply of banana cream pie 24/7, 365."
Asuka asked, while having the beginnings of an evil grin, "Are all four of you single?"
Touji sighed, "Yes, we are."
To my surprise, Daisuke agreed. "Despite our reputation of being the top detectives in the private sector, we have not have a girlfriend. And, despite Shinji's and my reputation as gentlemen champion crime busters, not to mention, being really shy and all, we have not have had a really successful date."
Misato and Asuka were both grinning evilly, while Rei was emotionless, like she had been for the last five minutes.
Touji wondered, "What the heck are they grinning about?"
Daisuke smiled, "It probably has to do something with Shinji and us."
Touji smiled, "Player time."
I heard Daisuke sigh, "Oy vei…"
For the first time, Rei spoke. She said, "What is wrong, Daisuke?"
Daisuke pointed at Touji, while rolling his eyes, he said, "Him."
Misato smiled, "Don't worry, Daisuke, he's fine!"
Daisuke grinned, "What's your definition of fine, Misato chan? Always fantasizing about getting ladies and having to sleep with them?"
Asuka laughed, "There's nothing wrong with that!"
Daisuke smiled, "I know that's normal for being guys and all, but imagining your 'conquests' 24/7, 365? That is not normal. Touji does not live in a place Shinji, Kensuke, and me like to call 'Reality'. So it's my job to bring him back."
Rei quipped, "So I see."
Daisuke smiled, "So I see indeed."
We exited the building and we went into a NERV van. Misato was driving Touji, Daisuke, along with Asuka and Rei and me to NERV HQ. Problem was, we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into.
Sonic Angel: Didn't know what these
guys are getting into is right! Why are the Angels declaring war
on humanity? What is Project EVA? And why did Asuka and Misato
grin evilly when our intrepid detectives mention that they were single?
Next time… "Shinji's First Battle! Fight On, Third Child!"
Who knows? Maybe next time, you might get some 'fan service'…
^_^