I own nothing except some original characters I sometimes bring in. Kelley Armstrong owns The Otherworld and all the wonderful information there.
*Scenes such as this have been briefly mentioned before in Kelley's books so I wanted to write something to show the tension between Nick and Tonio sometimes and explore the other side of their relationship as father and son. I think, as mentioned in the book, this is one of the major things they would fight about.
Finding a Place
"Nicky, get back here," I heard Antonio growl from down the hall. I glanced up from my math homework. Nick had gone in to talk to his dad about something. I got the sense it hadn't ended well.
"Fuck off Antonio," Nick growled. I started open mouthed at the door. First of all, Nick and Tonio hardly ever got into it. When they did it was usually very mild sending Nick into a pissy mood which he would counter with sex, clubs and alcohol and then he was fine the next day. Second of all, pack respect was paramount above all. Nick acting like this towards his father was both forbidden and not wise. Especially since Antonio used to be the pack enforcer, still continues to be one of the beta wolves, and could take Nick down in a second. He wouldn't but he could.
"Nicholas Antonio Emilio Sorrentino," Tonio bellowed. I caught an inflection of his Italian roots in his tone. I listened for more and then shook my head going back to my work. Sometimes they fought but it was never bad and they would be fine.
"No dad, I'm sick and fucking tired of this bullshit," Nick cried. I heard him coming my way. His heavy footsteps were hitting the floor in anger; the usual silent wolf was making enough noise to raise the dead. He had never demonstrated any necromantic powers that I saw but you never knew. I briefly considered scampering from the room to find a quiet place to hole up and hide but I was almost done. If I moved I might not finish this.
"And you don't think I'm not sick of it?" Antonio asked. His tone was no incredulously. I heard and sensed they were just beyond the kitchen door. I sighed lowly and reached for my headphones. Sure, I wanted to know what the argument was about but I really needed to pass this math test. I would be in about as much trouble with Jer and Tonio as Nick seemed to be in right now if I didn't.
"Oh sure you sick of it alright, you seem sick of it every damn fucking day," Nick yelled back. Nick swore a lot when he was angry or frustrated. I knew he was getting to a breaking point now.
"Nicholas if you have a problem with how I am running the businesses you should do something about it. I encourage you to do something about it. Don't just throw your weight around and disrupt everyone," Antonio said now. His tone was a bit calmer but his voice was still escalated with anger. I saw Nick suddenly pass into the light of the kitchen doorway. He turned towards his father now who I could see on the other side. They looked exactly like one another except Nick was taller and Tonio had more muscle. Tonio also looked a bit older but not by much.
I set aside my pencil and mentally sighed now. I did not want to draw attention to myself so I sat still and waiting, watching now. I saw Reese silently slid the back patio door open chugging a beer. He walked through and set the empty bottle on the counter.
I waved at him and nodded towards Nick and Tonio. He nodded sensing the situation and leaned against the counter crossing his arms and watching now too.
"Oh because that has worked before, every God Damned idea I have ever had has been turned down or needed too much work to get going. It doesn't matter how hard I try it will never be good enough for you," Nick growled. He now looked angry and hurt. I felt bad for him, he did try and he failed a lot more then he had succeeded. Everyone liked Nick for who he was though. No one cared about anything else.
"I never said you didn't try Nicky, you do try and I appreciate it. I just can't do whatever you want me to do whenever," Antonio said. His voice was a bit softer now. He reached to take Nick's arm but Nick swung out of the way angrily not letting his father touch him.
"Why don't you just try?" Nick yelled. He backed away a bit more now. Antonio stood his ground looking more frustrated then angry.
"I know exactly what will happen if I do try it so there's no point son," Antonio said. Nick flung up his hands in frustration, a truly lupin growl emitting from his throat.
"You haven't even tried it you arrogant bastard, just give me a fucking chance," Nick shouted. I gasped; Nick had never called his father names that I had known. I glanced at Reese who looked equally as surprised.
"So how's that homework going?" Reese asked now when the awkward silence hung in the air. Neither of us knew quite what to do with ourselves.
"Not so good," I murmured. Antonio and Nick both glanced into the kitchen now as if seeing us for the first time. I bit my lip hoping we were not in trouble for sticking around. It was our house now too though.
"You know what, I'm done Antonio find yourself another Sorrentino to do business with. Better yet hire Reese. He's got some awesome ideas I'm sure you would love to implement right away." Nick growled. I glanced at Reese and saw him wince. This was getting out of hand.
"Don't you dare put that on the boys Nicholas, this is your problem don't make them feel like shit." Antonio warned. He gave his son a warning look. The wolf in his eyes barley controlled by his human master.
"Nah, its ok Tonio. I'm cool," Reese said. I glanced at him again to see his eyes had gone hard. Reese was a pretty open person; except about his past, but when he was insulted or upset he tended to hide behind a steel version of himself. It was impossible for anyone to get through to him then. I saw that look in his eyes now. Frowning I turned towards Nick and Tonio again.
"No, you're right, at least about the boys, I'm sorry Reese," Nick said. He looked at Reese who nodded now accepting his apology. While Reese could shut down in an instant he could also forgive in an instant as well.
"What are you guys fighting about anyway?" I asked. The silence had started to draw on again while neither man knew what to say or do.
"Noah," Reese groaned. He gave me a look that said stay out of it. I tired but this was unbearable. I hated tense silences.
"Don't ask my friend, don't ever ask," he said sighing. I smiled slightly and turned back to Tonio and Nick. I got a good sense of what this was about but didn't know for sure.
"Nicholas believes he isn't good enough for me or this family," Antonio said quietly. Hurt seeped through his voice now. Tonio had never sounded that hurt before. It chilled me to the core.
"I think your cool Nick," I said grinning at him. Nick was practically my idol. I wanted to be able to fight as well as him, drink and carouse as well as him and live his playboy lazy lifestyle, though lately he had been stepping in and doing a lot more work. He glanced at me but didn't acknowledge my presence. I had tried to lighten the mood with humour but it didn't seem to work well so I shut up.
"Nicky how many times do I have to tell you you're my son and I will love you no matter what?" Antonio said. He came forward again but Nick backed off from him. Tonio hands went to his sides now desperate to reach out to his son but not willing to risk the rejection a third time.
"Words dad, just words, I see the look in your eyes every time you look at Kate and Logan and wish to have grandkids, every time I fail at helping the business, every time I come home drunk or am out being the 'play boy'," he said. He made quotation marks in the air as he did.
"I don't care...," Tonio started to say. Nick held up a hand to silence him which was also probably not a wise idea. I gritted my teeth and looked at Tonio for his reaction.
"I'm done, I'm going out and I don't know if or when I'll be back," he informed. His voice was a bit softer now. Swiftly he turned and walked away leaving Antonio looking after him with a hard and hurt expression. I heard the front door slam. We all stood in silence wondering what the hell just happened.
"I'm sorry about this boys," Tonio whispered. He still stared after his son. He turned slowly and walked back towards his study shutting the door softly now. Antonio was not a man to lose his temper easily. When he did he usually yelled and raged like Nick but him shutting his door quietly like he did scared me even more than him raising his voice.
"What do we do?" I asked Reese. He stared at the spot Antonio and Nick had been standing a few moments before.
"I don't know," he answered. He turned as well striding across the kitchen and grabbing another beer before leaving out the backdoor again. Tonio and Nick only let him keep a few things of food and drinks in the guest house so he didn't become a hermit.
Well, doing my math work was impossible now. I had a really bad feeling in my gut that this was going to turn out badly and it worried me. The Sorrentino's were the only family I had. If Nick and Tonio couldn't along what would happen with them and with the pack and us? It might have been a selfish thought but I loved having stability. I thrived in it and if I didn't have that anymore I might go back to my previous lifestyle which I was trying so hard to escape.
After I had given up on my homework a few hours later, resolving to do it before class, I dug my history test from my bag and walked towards Tonio's study. He had been in there for a few hours. I didn't want to bother him but I needed the test signed plus it was the best grade I had gotten so far. I kind of wanted him to be proud of me. I know it was stupid to feel like this but I did. I understood myself well enough to know my earlier life had driven me to look for a parental and father figure where I had hardly ever had one before. Antonio and Nick was the closest thing I would ever get to this. I wasn't ashamed about my feelings.
"Antonio," I called. I knocked on the door. There was silence for a few moments before he answered.
"Come in Noah," he said softly. I opened the door and stuck my head in looking at him questioningly. I was gauging his mood just in case I felt I shouldn't be here.
"I'm sorry but I need something signed. You're going to work early tomorrow and...there's no one else," I said. I stopping short of saying Nick was gone. I didn't want to remind him of the fight but honestly he probably couldn't get it out of his head.
"No problem," he said. He gave me a small smile holding out his hand. It wasn't his usual smile though. I sincerely wished Nick would come back and make this alright.
"We'll be leaving before you go to school so just take whatever vehicle you want," Antonio told me. I nodded as he took the test and looked it over before signing it. As a business man and a father he knows not to sign anything before at least skimming it.
"This is very good, good job. I'm proud of you," he said. He looked up and gave me a real smile now. It made me feel a lot better about the fight and about our relationship. It had been growing stronger ever since I had moved in.
"I worked pretty hard," I smiled. He nodded chuckling now as some of the light came back into his eyes. He started to become himself again.
"I see that," he said. He grabbed a pen and putting his signature on it he handed it back. I looked down at his perfect hand writing before looking back at him.
"Um, are you and Nick going to be ok?" I asked. He looked at me and then nodded slightly looking sad but determined.
"Yes, eventually. This has happened before so it's nothing new," he said. I nodded. That emission made me feel a bit better about it at least.
"Ok thanks, good night Tonio," I said. He nodded slightly acknowledging me before I left his study. One quick look back told me Antonio might be alright sometime but not any time soon.
I heard muffled voices in my dreams that just seemed to keep getting louder. I groaned and turned over when I realized they were coming from the downstairs area. I sighed and yawned laying there listening. Nick was back and they were arguing again by the sounds of it.
I groaned and rolled from bed leaving the room to explore in my boxers. I walked down the hall way rubbing my tired eyes to see Antonio was standing half way down the stairs in only pyjama bottoms. Nick was at the bottom looking drunk and angry as hell. What surprised me was that Elena and Clay were there. What the hell was going on? Did Nick call them for support or did Antonio call them for damage control?
"God Antonio," Nick growled. His words slurred a little. Elena laid a hand on his shoulder to calm him and to stop him from saying things he might regret.
"What the fuck is going on, I can hear you from the guest house," Reese's tired and angry voice asked. He was further down the first floor hallway. I turned towards him thankful someone had the guts to ask.
"They're going at it again," I told him. The group looked from him to me just registering we were there. II shuffled my feet a little embarrassed about being caught. This was getting way out of hand though.
"Go back to bed guys," Elena ordered. She used her alpha voice. She seemed to be just as frustrated as everyone else. I assumed now that Nick had called his best friends in; it didn't seem like something Antonio would do unless it was absolutely crucial.
"Don't know how to hell we're supposed to sleep," Reese complained. He received a warning look from Clay and Elena both. He threw up his arms and turned leaving again without a word and looking frustrated. The bad mood had spread.
"I've got a math test in the morning," I reminded them. I hoped they would at least try and keep it down.
"Bed," Clay growled. I sighed and turned to go down the hallway still hearing the argument in the background. I finally got to sleep again after stuffing pillows in my ears. Then I put my headphones on and fell asleep with music pounding in my head and in my dreams all night.
I yawned tired and groggy as I stepped into the kitchen the next morning grumpy and irritated. I was already starting to forget everything I had studied due to my lack of sleep. To my surprise everyone was there, even Tonio and Reese who were supposed to be leaving early.
"Noah, you've got 20 minutes to eat and leave," Nick reminded. I nodded yawning and reaching for the coffee pot. I needed caffeine if I was expected to make it through the day.
"Can I still take whatever vehicle I want?" I asked. I turned towards Antonio and poured milk and sugar into my mug. I loved the effects of coffee but I didn't like the taste too much.
"We'll drive you," he answered. He didn't look up at as he said this. I sighed now frustrated at my lack of freedom on top of everything else. I had planned to take the car and go to the mall after school to meet some friends. Once again my plans were foiled.
"You said...,"I began. I stopped when Elena gave me a warning look. I sighed again and got breakfast out bumping around and digging out my book to try and do some crash studying beforehand. I ate and ignored the people around me for now.
"Saving that for the last minute again," Nick asked grumpily. He was taking his anger out on me and it was totally unfair.
"No," I snapped. I slammed my text book shut and glaring at the man. Daring to not respect him like I should have but I was tired of this bullshit.
"I actually tried to study last night but you guys were arguing, keeping me from studying and sleeping. Now I'll probably fail the fucking thing so thanks," I growled. I finally had a chance to let my own frustrations and anger seep out.
"Noah," Antonio said in a warning tone. He pinched the bridge of his nose looking tired and upset. He just didn't want to deal with the world today, well neither did I honestly.
"What you guys can get upset but when one of us gets mad we can't speak just because we're not a Danvers or a Sorrentino, real fair system," I growled glaring at Tonio now. I almost instantly changed my look with the look he turned my way that said back off or regret it. I lowered my eyes frustrated, hierarchy was all important in the werewolf world but we were humans to and the human side of this found it beyond frustrating.
"Leave me out of this," Reese said. He shook his head at my stupidity and turned back towards the newspaper he was perusing.
"Alright, let's go," Elena said. She grabbed my book and my shoulder and steered me from the room. I grabbed my blazer from the back of the chair. I walked down the hallway to the inside garage door with her. Neither of us spoke as we walked through the garage and got into the vehicle. I set my side bag on my lap and shoved my math book in glaring down at the fabric. I crossed my arms angrily.
"Noah, you're upset and tired I know but you will apologize for talking like that to your elders," Elena ordered. She looked at me when we were both in the vehicle and settled. Everything inside me told me to concede to her as the future alpha but the human in me said this was totally unfair and I should resist.
"Elena...," I protested. She held up a hand as she started the vehicle and backed out of the garage not letting me protest like I wanted to. I growled and settled myself against the seat glaring at the passing Sorrentino property.
"Noah, if we talk we do it while your calm," she told me. I sighed shutting my mouth. I waited for the appropriate amount of time to pass before speaking again even if I wasn't calm yet.
"I have been having a lot of trouble with this subject and despite what Nick said I did study before hand. I was doing ok until they started fighting and now I'm tired, I probably won't pass and I really angry about it. Plus it's not even my fault and guess who Jeremy's going to blame if I fail," I told her. My voice was calmer now. She nodded at this hearing my side.
"I understand Noah; you have every right to be upset. I know how hard it is for you and how hard you work but there is no reason, no matter how angry or upset you are, to speak to anyone that way especially an older pack member," she told me calmly. My mouth gaped open. This was totally unfair to me why didn't she see this?
"Why are Nick and Tonio allowed to fight and call each other names swearing and disrespecting one another but when I do it I am out of line, that's totally unfair," I protested. I tried to stay calm as I said this even though my insides felt like they were on fire with my rage.
"I understand that it seems unfair but Nick will be getting a good going over for speaking to Antonio that way, believe me he will," she told me. It didn't make me feel better. Even if she did talk to Nick about it they were still best friends and she wouldn't be too hard on him.
"It's because I'm a Stillwell or an Albright or whatever right?" I asked. I finally voiced the opinion I had been thinking for months now. She glanced at me oddly when we got to a red light. I met her gaze not looking away but not issuing any challenge either.
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked. I went on but felt I might want to try and wriggle out of this before getting into more trouble.
"Your all either Danvers or Sorrentino's the two main families, you can get away with more but me, I just used to be a mutt. The kid of a guy who betrayed the pack, I can't get away with as much because in the pack I'm not as important as everyone else right," I said. She sighed and gave me a 'we should talk' look. She abruptly pulled into a coffee shop down the block.
"Let's get some caffeine," she said next. I nodded my stomach knotting up as we exited the vehicle and went in getting coffee and donuts. I had just eaten but as a werewolf I could eat every second of the day and not have it affect me too much. I waited for her to speak as we sat and I fidgeted with my coffee cup.
"Noah, you're just as important as everyone else in the pack except Jeremy of course, no one is as important as the alpha, but everyone else is equal in Jeremy's pack," she assured me. I regarded her not quite agreeing with this statement.
"Doesn't feel that way," I admitted. She nodded now giving me a sympathetic look. It seemed as if maybe she understood a little bit.
"I know, but you haven't been with us long. Give it some time," she assured. She set a hand on my arm in support.
"I don't think time is the issue Elena it feels more like...," I began to say but bit my lip. I should not be saying this to the future alpha. I wasn't sure she wouldn't understand me.
"Go on," she encouraged. I sipped coffee letting myself wake up more and think about what I wanted to say carefully.
"It feels more like I'm an outside and I always will be. There's no real place for me here. I want to belong so badly but even if I am part of the pack I might not belong to it," I emphasized. She nodded understanding totally lighting her eyes.
"I understand exactly how you feel Noah" she said. I raised my eyebrows in a 'yeah right' gesture. She chuckled at the gesture and sat back crossing her arms before she explained.
"Noah, I was a human once. Clay bit me and brought me into this world as the only female werewolf. It took me years to find and keep my place in the pack. Before that I was raised in foster care. I know exactly what it is like to want to belong, to have a family and to feel like an outsider," she told me gently. I nodded now remembering that Elena had had as traumatic a past as I had.
"So it's going to take years before I feel like I belong here?" I questioned. She shook her head. I wrapped my hands around my mug trying to find some warmth.
"No, now that I know how you feel it will easier for me to pave the way for you. I have learned from my mistakes and I will use the knowledge to figure out the best way to help you," she promised. I nodded accepting the idea but not quite trusting it. She must have sensed this because her next words went straight to the core of my werewolf self.
"Trust your alpha and trust me Noah, being part of the pack means we will look after you so you don't need to worry," she reminded me. I nodded again. Having not grown up pack it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I was supposed to let my alpha make decisions and worry so I didn't have to. When I realized this I felt a little bit more stable and a bit calmer about the whole situation.
"Better," she asked. I nodded now tipping my cup and taking the last dregs of caffeine to fortify myself for the school day ahead and for facing Tonio and Nick tonight.
"Let's get you to school before your absence means a failure," she said. I looked at my watch. I had missed my first class but I would be in time for the test. I walked out to the SUV feeling considerable better about myself and my place in the pack.
"Tell you what call me when your test is done and one of us will come and get you," she said. She was giving me permission to take the day off which eased my nerves a bit. It also meant I would have to face the pack sooner than I expected.
I waited with my test in my hand looking grim as I saw the SUV pull up to the curb. I glanced up and saw Antonio had come to pick me up. I sighed and stood opening the door and getting in quickly. Tonio didn't say a word as we pulled from the curb. I clutched my test paper nervously.
"Antonio," I began to say. He held up a hand to silence me but didn't say a word. I sat back tense now. He had never acted like this with me before and now he seemed uber angry. Maybe at the situation or maybe with me, I had no idea.
We drove in silence until we came into a forested strip of land a mile from the Sorrentino manor. Tonio abruptly stopped the SUV pulling to the side of the road. After a few seconds of staring into the woods he turned to face me with a dead serious expression.
"Noah," he began. I tensed. I felt like a 10 year old about to be scolded for pulling a prank at school.
"I don't appreciate your attitude or your tone towards me or Nick; you will not speak to a pack member or me like that ever again. Are we clear?" he told me. I nodded hearing the warning tone in his voice and if I was honest with myself fearing his anger.
"I'm sorry Tonio, your right I was out of line to talk to you and Nick like that but so was Nick," I pushed. I hoped I hadn't overstepped again. Antonio gave me a hard look and then nodded when I didn't look away from his gaze.
"Yes, he was out of line. We know how hard you work especially at school and how hard you're working to change your lifestyle but that's no reason to talk to one of the pack members like that. You'll apologize to Nick once we get home and he'll be the one to punish you," he told me. I nodded accepting this. I was still angry that Nick had said that to me but I knew Antonio was right. I had stepped out of line and if I hadn't gone so far I wouldn't have been punished for it.
"How did you do on the test?" he asked. I glancing at the paper, his anger seemed to have dissipated a little. I sighed and handed him the page. I turned to look out the front window now so I wouldn't have to see his disappointment.
"I tried," I said lowly. I looking back and saw him nod from the corner of my eye as he studied it.
"I know," he said gently. He gave the paper back to me again. I accepted it as he started the SUV and we continued onto the manor. We drove past the front gates and up the drive. I saw Reese was raking leaves, he waved and I waved back as we pulled into the garage.
"Nick's in the kitchen," Antonio told me. I nodded and got out setting my bag down inside the doorway. I walked towards the room slowly. Nick was sitting at the counter. Clay and Elena sat across from him. They were talking lowly.
They stopped speaking when I entered. I stood there looking at them. All three of them looked towards me. Elena nodded giving me an encouraging smile. I began trying to get this mess over with.
"Nick, I'm sorry I spoke to you so disrespectfully this morning, it won't happen again," I said. He nodded now accepting my words instantly.
"Thank you Noah. I was out of line when I accused you of not studying. I know you work hard so I'm sorry too," he said. This instantly eased the tension for me. I nodded and smiled slightly walking forward and setting my test on the counter.
"I did try, I just...," I trailed off. My hand went behind my neck as I nervously watched them.
"You would have done much better if we hadn't been distracting you. We'll let this one go," Nick said. I nodded grateful for the moment.
"Does Jeremy still have to know?" I asked. I hoped for just this once he didn't need to know one of my grades.
"Jeremy always has to know," Clay said. I nodded to this disappointed. I hated disappointed the people around me especially my alpha and my father figure Antonio.
"You can tell him this weekend when you guys come up to Stonehaven," Elena said. I nodded again not looking forward to that particular conversation. Sometimes with the pack I felt like I was where I belonged but sometimes I felt like I was smashing into a brick wall and they were unrelentingly stubborn never giving me a break. I knew this wasn't true though.
"Are you and Tonio ok now?" I asked. Nick nodded smiling a little, not his usual smile but it was better than nothing.
"Yeah, we talked and we're not 100% yet but we're going to be fine," he assured. I smiled in relief at this. I wasn't sure how much more fighting I could take.
"As for your punishment," Nick started. I stiffened and turned towards him biting my lip.
"Go change out of your uniform and into some casual clothes. Help Reese with the raking and you're grounded for a week," he informed me. I could accept this and was instantly thankful it wasn't a bigger punishment
I sat nervously as Jeremy went over my test papers and recent report cards studying them. As alpha he considered every pack member's education important. He looked at all of our grades every few months to make sure we were on track. He even looked at Kate and Logan's preschool grades.
"Was this D from the last math test?" he asked. I nodded to this. He looked at me and then back down at the test. The rest of the tests, essays and one report card were littered with B's and B+ and one or two C's so all and all it wasn't so bad.
"I have already talked about this with Tonio so we don't need to speak about it, all and all your grades have stayed the same and improved slightly in some areas so I'm happy with them," he praised. I grinned. Getting compliments from the alpha was always a bonus.
"We do need to talk about another matter though," he began. I stiffened as he set the papers down and folded his hands regarding me. I crossed my arms around myself protectively.
"Noah what do you think being a pack member means?" he began. I lay back against the cushions slightly as I thought.
"It means protection and friends I guess," I shrugged. He continued to regard me with that inscrutable alpha expression.
"Being in the pack means I look after you and everyone else, I worry for you and everyone else and I take care of you and everyone else. Being in my pack means that no matter where you come from and no matter what skills and abilities you possess you will treated like every other member not matter if you are a Sorrentino or a Stillwell-Albright. You are an important member of this pack, my pack," he told me. I looked at him thinking about what I should say and finally I just nodded.
"Thanks Jeremy" I told the man. I saw his lip twitch in a smile and I smiled back. Finding a place in the pack had been a struggle for me because I always wanted to belong but never thought I could. Hearing Jeremy's words made me feel as if I really was starting to find my place.