We Wasted All Our Free Time Alone
Previously titled "Rin-chan"!
*Finished setting up a barricade against an army of angry readers* Hello, my brain finally decided I need twin blue fires to lit up the synapses instead of the beautiful orange flame on a certain brunet's forehead soooo I've returned to Rin-nee and broke the published five chapters into bits and rearranged them with new slips to improve the story will you forgive me *ashamed*
I just realized 'For Want of a Nail' means how a small thing can alter big events and am wondering if I should add this tag…
Disappointed by how it ends and the fact that I hated everyone but Rin at first, I wasn't planning on even writing an Ao no Exorcist fic. But some PMs, some ideas, some encouragements, led to my loving the fandom's potential, so thank you to WritersElemental, blackchaosaria2501, MidnightSinXOXOXO and animefangirltrash for making this story possible for me in the first place.
Disclaimer: Ao no Exorcist belongs to Kazue Katou.
Warnings/Tags: Rin may be the glaring exception of possibly everything. Lots of liberties taken as to how demons and exorcism function (Sometimes, there will be phrases from the bible prayers taken for the incantations! Please don't take offense from how I adjusted the sentences according to each situations. If you do not like reading about God and demons and basically the messy debate about existence – well…). Canon divergence (canon storyline is dumped in a bin somewhere). Have you read my attempt to write smut (a BTOOOM fiction)? I failed spectacularly. Have you read my attempts to write romance? I might as well tag them as non-cons *roll eyes* Please don't expect much romance here (though I'm a little deep in All/Tsunayoshi so there may be some elements of All/Rin. Probably). I've done a lot of world building of AoE in my notes so I don't hate the other characters anymore (liking Xanxus Vongola of Katekyo Hitman Reborn may sort of erased my initial hatred of Ryuji Suguro for unknown reasons lol). They are all probably very OOC, a near-inevitable thing in fanfictions. Rin is female, at first because I want to use her as a self-insert of sorts considering we share the same name and some personality traits and because at first I was tipping over the Rin/Yukio spectrum, now because I have a lot of concerns I really want to address regarding Gehenna's stance concerning the twins. Graphic violence and some gore, which should be expected, it's SATAN. Platonic Romance. Everyone Is Smart. Everyone Has Issues. Character Development. Bullying. Paranoia. Posessive Behavior. Near Death Experiences. Slight Madness, it's Mephisto. Slight actually no it's glorious GLORIOUS CHAOS.
Summary: When the Old Man talked to them about self-defense and fighting and weapons, Yukio cried. Rin's excitement must have been disturbing.
ARC I : Disappointment of a Lost Blue Bellflower
Part 1 : Impatient Balsamine
Fighting is wrong. You must not hurt other people. Fellow humans should get along. None of those crossed her mind as she punched the one who bleached his hair's jaw. Hmm. He only lost four teeth to remind him to never toe out of the line. Unfortunate.
"The fuck kind of hook do you have bitch?!"
Yes, Rin was very strong. No one could really explain why her lean muscles that points to a swimmer or a runner enabled her to lift a grown man easily by the time she was eleven but who really cares? They tagged her as a freak and left it at that.
"Feisty, this one! You wanna have fun that bad, eh?" He leered.
Rin smirked. She was often told her smile shows her unusually sharp, vampire-like fangs. "Am I being flirted by a lackey like you?"
"Like me, kitty cat?"
"Someone who needs to overcompensate with a giant metal stick."
The strike aimed at her ribs. It came from the side, so she lowered one arm to block the hit. Mindless of the pain she used his momentum to strike his exposed elbow. His fingers lose their grip on the baseball bat and he clutched his elbow to relieve the pain.
An overhand swing of a hammer from the one with the broken nose was avoided with her bending over backwards. She didn't stop there. She followed it up with a kick to his jaw that knocked him on the ground as she finished her summersault. Pulling her right hand in a fist – digging her elbow at the third goon's eye – she hit the last one standing and gave him an instant shiner.
She left them writhing on the ground and picked up the bat, ignoring the way they kept calling her a demon. People caught onto her viciousness quickly, how quick she was to fight, to disagree and knock them down, to be so separated from the rest like a single entity. And they nicknamed her 'Akuma-Rin', demon Rin. Sometimes 'Oni-Rin' because of her naturally navy blue hair and unnaturally shiny blue eyes. But mostly demon.
Names don't mean much. She could give herself a new name and she would still be her. It doesn't matter if that nickname was so widespread strangers recognize her. Even her adoptive father uses it. Well, once. Or twice. In the heat of moments, admittedly so it shouldn't really matter it's not like—
What the cuss am I thinking? She swung the smooth part of the nail-embedded bat to her shoulder. She could keep it, but she doubted she'd ever use it.
"H-hey."
She lazily glanced at him, almost yawning as her adrenaline receded. His two friends were leaving the alley behind. He wore a simple white vest which was covered in dirt and doesn't cover the bruises that vaguely resembled her jabs and fists.
"Give me that bat."
"Hah? Why should I?"
"Just give it to me."
"What, no 'please'? You're not really in the position to demand things."
His fist balled and he looked at her angrily, mouth opening and closing as he failed to mutter a simple 'onegai'. "T-That bat's my dad's."
"Ah." She knelt down at the birds lying dead on the ground. Bruises on their bodies and some of their faces smashed. "These birds don't belong to anyone, so you and your friends thought it was okay to throw rocks and kick their heads in?"
He flinched, feet indecisive and face scrunched up. He had conscious, it seems. She can get it. Peer pressure. She can even imagine it. One decided to joke about killing stupid birds and the others laughing and agreeing with him. One probably nailed a bird to impress the others and the whole joke turns into a vindictive game.
She stood up and took a deliberate step closer to him. He tried to seize her up with his eyes but Rin wasn't known as a demon by the residents of Namikura for nothing. He backed away two steps. Pinning him with her deadliest stare, the boy looked at his feet not more than two seconds later.
"If I catch any of you imbeciles abusing innocent animals again, I will beat you unconscious, and you will wake up with their carcasses shoved into your throats. Understand me?"
He nodded fervently.
"Turn around," she ordered. "Tuck your tail and run." She didn't bother paying him further attention that the poor avians deserved more. She dug her sneakers on the ground, kicking the dirt away to make some holes. One by one, she picked up the pigeons by their fragile neck and buried them. It was a grave, ones that were lacking of a stone monument, flowers, incense, water and ash chamber. She crouched, pitying the creatures that ended up with painful and frightening deaths to serve a pointless game made by clueless humans.
She did a very short, quick prayer hoping their baby birds will survive, because Old Man's "May God be with you and bless you His protection and on and on" doesn't really… fit. He said animals don't go to Heaven or Hell because they don't have humans' rational mind. She never got any meaning behind his long winded answer when she asked about animals who are as smart as humans or humans who lost their rational thinking.
He summed up the entire discussion with 'animals are animals'.
Clearly the old fart doesn't know everything. Her twin brother is way more reliable for answers.
. o . 0 . o .
Ignoring the coal tar demons flying around the room, Yukio sighed instead of frowning in disappointment. Dangerous words stirred in his chest. Words that could not be taken back later. His twin sister could act like a brute and a hothead 24/7 but she was very sensitive and hung up over the little things. "This is going to hurt even more, Rin-nee. Your bandages from last week got stuck with all this blood."
The male twin grimaced at the deep gash marring his twin's arm. Something sharp had stabbed the skin and messed up with the bandages he had applied to her after her fight seven days ago. And he had his suspicion pointing to the nails embedded on the wooden baseball bat she put at the corner of her room along with her other 'fighting trophies'. "Why didn't you say you were bleeding?"
Yukio tore his gaze away from the med-kit to see a few tiny airborne demons circling his sister's head, and tried his best to keep his eyes onto her own instead of the round creatures agitating her – playing with her hair without her noticing.
He opened the medical kit his Headmaster gave him. He does this so often for his sister he could probably do it in his sleep. Clean the wound, clean up the blood, ooze anything that's stuck in the wound so it can be healed without risking infection. Once it's cleared knit the skin back together. Then it depends on how long the wound has been there, whether it heals without scarring or not.
"Sorry for gritting my teeth and bearing it," Rin hissed, muttering 'ow!' as Yukio poured peroxide on the open wound. She had apparently blocked a hit instead of dodging and the nails had dug and dragged across her skin so Yukio had to stitch them up before wrapping a roll of clean bandages around it. It was a stupid move. Why does she keep—
Yukio exhaled and let go of the brief tension he built up. The coal tars were aware he can see them, and while the fairly harmless type only floats around his twin for her warmth that she was thankfully unaware of, the more sinister ones with slanted violet eyes were trying to make him give into negative emotions.
Coal tars are at the bottom of the Demon food chain, yet they also far outnumber any other species. It's rather unfortunate they don't eat the normal, annoying creatures like mosquitoes and act like any other demons, trying to make humans more selfish than they already are.
Yukio looked up when it got too quiet, and saw his sister eyeing his box stacks in sadness. He curbed the urge to flinch when she nearly breath in a coal tar – at least looked like it. Only humans who can see them can breathe coal tars in and their adoptive father has done his best to keep her from being aware of them. Instead of the Paladin he truly is, she stuck to the conclusion that he was a glorified guidance counselor. While insulting, it meant she was safe. Breathing coal tars in can cause one's lungs to rot. God knows how often Yukio has to hold his breath every time Astaroth's little demons fly a little too close to his nose.
"We know it was going to happen eventually."
"You know I always thought we'd leave together instead of separating. Why can't I go with you or something?" Rin asked. Her questions were often like that, voiced without her fully understanding the consequences.
Yukio snorted in amusement. He, more than anyone, knew how often she fantasizes about leaving the church to some kind of magical place. Sometimes it was a remote kingdom, sometimes it was a pocket dimension inside a secret star, most of the time it was to the future where Pokemon exists.
Yukio often dream about them with her together. Their little world, where he doesn't have to worry about dangerous people or scary places because his big sister would protect. At least—at least until she revoked that protection and pushed him to be able to defend himself. Then things happened – things that made him see, and he had to keep so, so many secrets from her who tells him nearly everything.
Yukio gulped, and casually adjusted his glasses by the frame, discreetly swiping at a malicious coal tar that hovered near his ear.
"How would I even begin to explain to the Head of Rectorate that I'm bringing my sister to a medical school?" He joked.
"Hmph! You could sneak me in and there would be no need to explain!" She grumbled. "You sure this isn't some kind of secret military program? What kind of med boarding school keeps their location a secret anyway?"
"The kind that doesn't want their clingy family members to sneak inside the school structure," he joked, careful to not breathe the floating demons around them.
No one warned him that being able to see demons would be such a stressful life.
"It's so weird to see your room so empty," Rin spoke, standing up to stretch and poke the half-empty shelves and cabinets. Yukio's room was identical to Rin's; it has three doors, one to get outside, one to the bathroom, and one that connected their rooms. They lived in a two-story house on the side of the small church. Living in Japan, there weren't many Christians here anyways.
"It'll be yours to take care of soon," Yukio said. He picked up the bottle of peroxide and bandage roll to put them inside the med-kit. A coal tar had slipped inside a gap and he picked it up by its tail and swatted it away like a fly. Coal tars are the most harmless of all demons, as long they don't band together and merge into a giant snake-like gestalt entity that would be capable of overrunning a city. But that happens very rarely, only when they managed to turn a sensible crowd into an angry, very aggressive mob. "I'm more worried whether you can take care of yourself."
"Aww, you're not going to lecture me, are you? Old man already did that!"
"You got fired again, Rin-nee. Your CV would have been impressive if only you manage to keep them for more than a week. At this rate, no one in Namikura would hire you," the boy's voice is flat. There is – maybe - something amused in the corners of his eyes.
"No one wanted to hire Akuma-Rin in the first place." Those words were whispered so quietly, but Yukio heard them just fine.
His mouth moved on itself. "That's not true."
Rin scowled at him. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not cussing sad—" every time she cussed, Shiro kept scolding her to stop cussing so she just replaced every curse word with cuss so he can't complain against the 'censoring' "—I'm just saying it's what everyone thinks."
"You can't lump people like that, Rin-nee," Yukio wanted to get outside and take a fresh air in the demon-free church, but he doesn't walk out of the demon-filled house. "And you also can't blame them. Your answers in face of problems are often violence and threats, Rin-nee." He didn't often think about it, but sometimes he feared Rin's aggressiveness is going to get her into—into something more dangerous than her regular "disciplinary actions", like organized crime. They were getting older, and Rin wasn't dealing well with the pressure and expectation to build a decent life in decent house with a decent job. Honestly, Yukio blamed two things: Rin's proclivity towards violence to nearly every issues and Father's insistence on emphasizing the word 'alone' every time he lectured Rin about it.
She was laid back and kind of mean, hiding her delicate feelings with explosive temper and cold threats, but she never liked being alone.
…And here he is, leaving her behind.
"People don't listen."
"Some people don't listen. It won't cost you anything to talk first."
"This isn't like in shounen manga, people don't really take advices to heart. We were never really serious in our self-defense lessons until we got beat up."
That was true, and what could he say to that? Yukio had asked others but none have come up with a sufficient answer. Rin have it in her head that people will live in a bubble and be weak unless they were introduced to pain, so to make sure they won't cause another's pain, they must be minded of said pain to prevent further foolishness.
And there are so many things she can point as evidence to that 'answer'. A child would not truly appreciate their parents until they nearly lost them in an accident or until their deaths. She had seen so many cases of those during funerals; how several schoolmates of hers who often complain and curse about their parents' unfairness turn around to wax poetic about them and how much they miss them when they're gone. A girl would never thought of bringing a weapon or avoiding a stranger until they are sexually assaulted. Their Dad would not sign them up for self-defense lessons had he not known children can be cruel for silly reasons; like Yukio being a timid glasses-wearing kid, or Rin being a tomboy-ish girl that wanted to play basketball instead of dolls.
Yukio might have stayed as a shy and spineless child, content in his own world knowing his more capable big sister will do her best to protect him, had Rin never failed in that endeavor.
That's… that's right. His sister didn't push him because she doesn't love him. She had failed. And rather than failing that badly again, she made sure he could be strong too.
Yukio smiled softly in response to her scowl. Amongst the monotony of goals it was easy to forget why he was doing this in the first place.
He's not permanently leaving her. He's only going away for a while to further his training. To be stronger. That's what his sister always encouraged him to do because she refused to protect and coddle him. One day, when the time is right, Yukio will confess the truth and there will be no more secrets and she'll understand why he's leaving her for a while.
"Maybe," a change of subject would be nice, "try a more… gentle job?" He nearly said girlish, and avoided a potentially lethal kick. "You keep failing delivery jobs because you're always distracted to take care of delinquents." Like a very vigilant police who is kiiind of a delinquent herself. "We could try to find one where you won't have to be run around outside."
His twin looked like she wanted to snap at him but turned her back to poke a cabinet again, making some kind of tune to the music in her head. Completely oblivious to the harmless, oval-shaped green eyed coal tars dancing on her fingers. "Like what?"
"Perhaps babysitting."
"Babies smell like shampoo and baby powder, occasionally poop and half-masticated food."
"O-Okay," Yukio held in a laugh. He was trying to improve her mood, not to piss her off, but she could be so funny. "S-so not babysitting. Erm, we're 16 now. There must be a part-time job for a booth in the mall. You're pretty. You could grab an easy one, like, one of those make-up booths."
"Makeovers? You mean where stuck up girls make snooty faces at us while they pluck our eyebrows until we scream and then they tell us 'You'd be pretty if you took care of your skin'?" She faked a high-pitched voice at the end. "Pass."
"You do know that complaining too much gives you bad karma, don't you?"
She blushed in embarrassment. "Shut up, Ki-nii—Ah, Hey!" Rin exclaimed in surprise. Yukio caught sight of a mouse scurrying down the cabinet. She ignored it, but Yukio felt malicious energy rolling off of it, somewhat familiar with the tiny fear coal tars are able to induce upon humans who can see them. Rin would only see a normal mouse startled to find an escape. Yukio noticed its unnaturally shiny red eyes, and knew that it was possessed by a demon.
"I'm going to get rid of it," Yukio announced casually, picking up a broom and following the possessed mouse outside the room. When he was certain Rin didn't follow him, he cleared his mind, and focused on his intent. "God, Who for the salvation of the human race, in your kindness pour down the power of your blessing." The mouse stopped in its path. "Let no pestilent spirit, no corrupting atmosphere, remain in the homes and buildings of the faithful." It turned around to show him an ugly grin stretching its cheeks. The spell was able to bind its movement and Yukio continued as he fished out a small holy water container he always kept in his pocket. "Through the Lord, Amen."
The sanctified water spilled onto the mouse, making it squeak in pain. It writhed, and then two things happened: the mouse shook its head, blinking its black beady eyes, while a small, round demon with stubby hind legs and thick forelegs was 'kicked' out of the mouse's body. The goblin spasmed in pain, its skin and eyes burning from the holy water until it dissolved. With its anchor to the human dimension forcefully ripped apart, it returned to the demons' dimension.
The mouse sniffed. When Yukio's hand moved to put the container back in his pocket, it caught sight of the broom and scurried away.
Yukio turned back into his room and saw his twin still idly tapping out a tune. Still oblivious, still unaware of the transparent warmth that swam so close to her outline. There were no coal tars floating near the door, only lingering at the other side of the room, all of them slightly driven away by Yukio's light exorcism.
He thought about what to talk about.
'Maybe you're so violent because of the fire you inherited from our true father', he wanted to say.
'I want to tell you my secrets but if I do I would lose you', came a close second.
Instead, he said, "Let's go to your room. We can watch the last episodes of SAO."
Rin brightened immediately. "Okay!"
Rin hoped her twin doesn't notice the mouse bite. She didn't want to disappoint Yukio that she got her newly bandaged fingers bleeding again. She'll fix it herself later.
. o . 0 . o .
Balsamine (Impatiens) is commonly referred as Touch-me-not, jewelweed, and balsam. Some are annual plants from early summer until the first frost, while perennial species' are found in milder climates and can flower all year. Regardless of their lifespan, they can grow up to 2 meters (7 feet) tall and their leaves are entire and shiny, has a thick water-repellent cuticula that gives them a greasy feel, and its flowers are horn-shaped spur for the most part, with at least the upper petals insignificant by comparison. They're somewhat similar to those of violets (Viola), an unrelated genus.
The perfect flower to represent how you should not let a demon touch you.
'Yasha' originally means a bad god in Buddhism, now it's an old-fashioned term for literature. 'Oni' is the most familiar imaginary creature in Japanese old tales, often looking like humans with horns and believed to live in remote mountains or islands. 'Youkai' are various types (more than 100) of imaginary creatures that are said to live near us and tricks humans. 'Akuma', on the contrary, doesn't stem from the Japanese tradition. It's the translation of Demon or Devil in the western culture.
About Rin calling Yukio "Ki-nii": Biologically, she's older, like I'm older than my little brother. Emotionally, he's more mature, like I'm more childish than my little brother. Despite being the 'little' brother, he's taller than Rin (than I am). So they're (we're) each others' older siblings.
About Yukio's response to Shiro's talk of self-defense: My little sister who was ten years old at the time isn't a crybaby, but her response when I talked to her about carrying a weapon to defend herself she cried, saying she's scared to attack someone. Not particularly 'hurt someone', but the notion of 'attacking'. I was very surprised. The last thing I expected was for tears to appear in her eyes.
Please tell me your opinions by reviews or PMs! The seventh chapter is currently 689 words officially TnT There are some dialogues and lines that seemed like they are 'clogging' the next chapter that I'm at a lost as to what to replace or improve them with, but I hope I'll be able to update next week or so. I don't want to rush and give you a chapter you're hyped about but then get disappointed when you barely laugh or don't say oh my gosh wow.