The Names I Secretly Shared

In Yama, Fai was forced to be in close proximity with Kurogane. Well, maybe forced wasn't the exact word to use. That made it sound like he didn't like the ninja. But he did. He just didn't like Kurogane's searching eyes, that looked at him, and knew what he was.

A liar.

He didn't know Fai's secrets, but he knew he wasn't who he said he was. He couldn't make one false move, say one untrue word, without Kurogane knowing it to be so.

Except for one thing.

When he'd introduced himself as Fai, Kurogane hadn't known he was lying. After all, why would you lie about your name to total strangers? Well, there were many reasons, really, but they couldn't have known to suspect that at the time. Kurogane hadn't known him then, didn't know how to read him, and couldn't yet distinguish what was lie and what was truth.

Then, when Fai said, "I'm Fai," Kurogane believed him. They all did. They called him by that name, every day, with such belief and sureness that he almost started to believe it himself. But then, he'd always remember his brother, the real Fai, and feel guilty for believing it for even a second.

In Yama, Fai was almost relieved. Kurogane didn't understand a single word he was saying, and as such, couldn't tell what Fai was talking about, and had no idea when he was lying. Well, maybe he could have, from body language or whatever it was Kurogane was using to tell, but the truth of the matter was, because they couldn't understand each other, it wasn't like Kurogane was asking him questions, and thusly, Fai had no reasons to lie.

Sure, it was stressful to be obviously separated from the kids, without any clue where they might be, but this was Fai's silver lining.

But it wasn't like Fai didn't talk. Not around the other soldiers, who believed him to be mute, but when he and Kurogane were alone, it was just as hard to get him to shut up. He rattled on about all sorts of things. How the day had gone, how the night would probably go, how it did go, how Yasha was good looking, how Ashura was also good looking, why he didn't like today's food. Anything that popped to mind, really.

And Kurogane, same as always, tried to make him shut up.

He would say something to Fai, even though Fai couldn't understand him, (thought he began to learn, of course, as one only could after being in a country for six months) and Fai always knew that it basically amounted to, "Shut the hell up."

But it actually felt nice to talk to Kurogane, now that Kurogane couldn't judge what he was saying. Sometimes, when he felt lonely, or particularly sad and down, he would even tell Kurogane a couple things about his real life. Nothing big, but it was a big stress reliever.

"The castle was really big." he said once, referring to the castle he had lived in with Ashura. "And I thought for sure I'd get lost, in those first few days. Luckily, Ashura-oh stayed by my side, and showed me around."

During conversations like these, when his voice was soft, and his eyes were heavy, Kurogane would not tell him to shut up. The mage knew he didn't understand what he was saying, but he could tell from his body language (so that was how he was doing it) that Fai was saying something different from his usual stuff. The ninja would stay quiet, and listen, and when Fai was done talking, usually after only a minute or two, it would remain quiet for a second, while they'd lock eyes. That was when Fai would go back to smiling, and rambling, and within seconds, Kurogane would be telling him to shut up.

But these small tidbits of information just didn't feel like enough. He wanted to tell Kurogane something. Something big. Something that mattered.

The first thing that popped into his head...

He had shared Ashura's, knowing Kurogane would assume he was speaking of the other Ashura. (At least, he was hoping)

He had shared Chi's, knowing that Kurogane would just think it a strange, unimportant word.

Something that he was reminded of every time they spoke to him...

He decided to say it.

He had to tell somebody.

And Kurogane was all he had.

The opportunity came quicker than he thought it would, scaring him a little. Was he really going to do this? It came when he and the ninja were walking down the hall together, alone, and Fai was speaking, on and on, about nothing important.

"Shut up, Fai." Kurogane said. For some odd reason, the ninja had started referring to him by name, every now and again. He figured it was because Kurogane assumed Fai still didn't understand him, even after almost six months of this place. And even if Fai didn't understand, he would sure still recognize his name. His name didn't change. Maybe it was Kurogane's way of thanking him for being honest with him, even though he couldn't understand the blonde. Fai had a feeling it would stop immediately once they found the children again. (Or if they ever did)

Behind him, Fai stopped walking, and his heart pounded in his chest. He looked at the ground, trying to hold back the already building tears as he spoke, and said something he never had before.

"My name is Yui."

The words came out as a mixture between very soft and moderately loud, because he had been trying to sound normal when he said it, but his heart and body hadn't let him. This was enough to confuse Kurogane, and make him turn around, sure to be trying to figure out if Fai was saying something important or not.

By the time he had turned, Fai was smiling, like nothing had been said. Kurogane's eyes stayed on him, and Fai knew that he knew that he had said something very important. He could see it in his eyes, and his fake, fake smile. But he couldn't tell what Fai had said. He had no idea what had just been shared with him.

Fai walked past him, smiling still, and looked over his shoulder, indicating that Kurogane should hurry along. Kurogane stared after him a few more seconds, before he was forced to follow.

It would be a long time before Kurogane heard that word again, and finally understood what had been shared with him on that day.

Did I steal this from somebody? I feel like a while back, I read a fanfiction like this...

Well, if so, and you're that author, or you know who I'm ripping off, please do let me know.