Thanks go to: kat petryk psykkokat@hotmail.com, Barbara Miller bugeyedmonster2@yahoo.com, and moonshadow@gundamwing.net for their thoughtful help

Rated: PG, yaoi/slash refrences

Archive: sure.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this fic, and It was inspired by Kaylee! So not even the Idea for it is mine.

The Personals

By Youko Rayah

-Snake Talker

I'm sorry, okay! It's just a little hard to change my views over night! Come Home, I miss you.

-Snake Boy

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG!

Why are you so obsessed with making my life difficult?

-Captain Hairball

-Lost Boy in Neverland

I'm off on a training trip into the mountains. Come find me and we'll pick up were we left off last weekend!

-My Life is Insane

-Tall Pale and Spooky

Arrrrgh! You shot me! I can't believe you did that! You prick! Do you know how long it took me to get the blood stains out of my cloths? Next time I see you, you had better have chocolate or beer, or both!

-Caring a BIG gun

-Just A Guy

How was I supposed to know? It's not my fault they found out. Please come home!

-Boy Scout

-She of the Five Finger Discount

Why don't you join me for dinner? I Know a wonderful little French place.

-The Better Looking one

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

It's all your fault! You just haaaaaad to make that crack and get the two of them fighting!

-Lady Wisdom

-Riding Binki

Do I even want to know why you tore off from our place with 15 cans of different colored spray paint?

-Sword Boy

-Fangs

I cannot believe you kissed the Slayer. What in the nine HELLS were you thinking?!

-Nummy Treat

-Wields the frying pan

You didn't have to hit me so hard. I said I was sorry!

-He who Hunts Demons

-Blessed Protector

You're on the couch big guy. What you said was TOTALLY uncalled for.

-Shaman

-He of the Dragon

Come by my place this weekend! The Parents are off on a trip, and the brat is staying with friends

-Foxy Lover

-My Life is Insane

Sounds good to me! I'll bring the cream and the raspberries!

-Lost Boy in Neverland

-Caring a BIG gun

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you that bad! But I HAD to make it look good! Let me make it up to you?

-Tall Pale and Spooky

-Boy Scout

Oh come on, you're not that naïve! You knew there would be people Watching! No. I'm off to warmer weather, and a bit of peace and relaxation.

-Just A Guy

-Snake Boy

How could you say such a thing! I thought you were better than that! No You're not forgiven yet.

-Snake Talker

-Captain Hairball

You dinged my ride and scratched the paint. Original factory paint. On a 79 roadrunner. And then you didn't pay the repair bill. Suffer.

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

-The Better Looking one

Hmmm I think I could be convinced. Just where is this little place? And is shopping involved?

-She of the Five Finger Discount

-Nummy Treat

You can't believe I kissed her? I can't believe I kissed her!! That Red is a dangerous chit!

-Fangs

-He who Hunts Demons

You laughed. I'm not coming back until you are VERY sorry.

-Wields the frying pan

-Shaman

Uncalled for? You almost got your self KILLED! Stop pouting and come back.

-Blessed Protector

-Foxy Lover

Hn.

-He of the Dragon

-Sword Boy

Heh heh heh Mweheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee!

-Riding Binki

-Lady Wisdom

Oh come on, luv. He's just a stupid git! Our friend could do much better!

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

-He of the Dragon

Good, Swing by my place, and I'll have a surprise for you.

-Foxy Lover

-Blessed Protector

POUTING?! Listen here buddy-boy! That lunatic had you dead to rights, and I do mean DEAD. So no. I'm staying here until you make it up to me.

-Shaman

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

Now who's the git? Our friend DOESN'T WANT anyone else! They BELONG together! You are going to make it up to them, or else!

-Lady Wisdom

-Fangs

Don't need to tell ME that! Look, I'm ditching the Gang and heading out to LA for some Club Hopping. Come with me?

-Nummy Treat

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

all this, for a REPAIR BILL?! You have got to be kidding?!

-Captain Hairball

-Wields the frying pan

I am very sorry! To show you just HOW sorry I am, I got us a weekend at the Hot Springs resort in Osaka.

-He Who Hunts Demons

-She of the Five Finger Discount

But of coarse! I Know several shops you would love. Meet me at my place and we'll be off to a romantic weekend

-The Better looking one

-Tall Pale and Spooky

Bring chocolate and meet me in N. Denver, and I'll consider it.

-Caring a BIG gun

-Lost Boy in Neverland

mmmmmm. Raspberries. I've got chocolate! Meet me at the usual place, and we'll work up an appetite.

-My Life is Insane

-Snake Talker

Oh come on! I Don't feel that way about all of them! Just some.

-Snake Boy

-Just a Guy

I'm sorry! It's just, when I look into your eyes, and I see the shifting of Gold and Green, I forget about everything but what really matters, My love for you. The world goes away and all that remains is us. I love you, and I miss you, old man. Please come home, or let me find you.

-Boy Scout

-Riding Binki

Never mind, I don't want to know.

-Sword boy

-Snake boy

then who were you talking about? Herm's parents?

-Snake Talker

-My Life is Insane

I'll bring the... training tools. Be there in a few!

-Lost Boy in Neverland

-Caring a BIG gun

N. Denver it is! I've got Chocolate covered strawberries, plum wine, and lots of mint chocolate moose.

-Tall Pale and Spooky

-Boy Scout

Could you have used any more cliché's? sigh, all right. Come join me if you can find me. Here's a clue. Where is Boiling and Freezing at the same time in reverse. You have three days to find it.

-Just a Guy

-Captain Hairball

I never joke about my vehicles. You pay, or I get mean.

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

-The Better Looking one

Sounds wonderful, but you still haven't told me where this Wonderful little French place is.

-She of the Five Fingered Discount

-Lady Wisdom

How am I supposed to do that?

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

-Nummy Treat

Sure. Sounds fun, and I can torment Peaches! And I know just the place. Music, dancing, drinks, bit of violence and blood.

-Fangs

-Brat

Thank you for the Mural. It really is lovely.

-Scary Uber woman

-He Who Hunts Demons

That place is so exclusive, that you have to wait a month for an opening. How did YOU get us a reservation for this weekend?

-Wields the frying pan

-Shaman

Look, you're not a cop, and I don't want you putting yourself in danger like that. You're more important than I am. I don't want anything to happen to you!

-Blessed Protector

-Foxy Lover

Sweet Snow?

-He of the Dragons

-Blessed Protector

If you're going to have to do better than that if you're trying to apologize.

-Shaman

-He of the Dragons

among other things.

I'll leave the lights on and a window open for you

-Foxy Lover

-Wields the frying pan

Do you remember that time three months ago when I had to brake our date, and go to Work? Well, I had to deal with something UGLY out at that place. The owner was grateful.

-He who Hunts Demons

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

How much do I owe you?

-Captain Hairball

-Fangs

Play nice with Peaches, and No tormenting Glasses! I mean it! The guy has as much angst as I do! Other than that, it's a plan!

-Nummy Treat

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

Use your imagination. Treat them to dinner at a nice restaurant, a night at the movies, SOMETHING! And Apologize to them both!

-Lady Wisdom

-She of the Five Fingered Discount

In France of Course! We'll fly out in First class, have Dinner, spend a night on the town, and spend an absurd amount of money.

-The Better looking one

-Just a Guy

I know where that is, and if those who Watch ever find out you like that stuff, you'll never hear the end of it! I'll be there tomorrow

-Boy Scout

-Tall Pale and Spooky

mmmmmm sounds good. We'll see how well you do and you may be forgiven

-Caring a BIG gun

-Lost Boy in Neverland

Can't wait. See you soon, and Don't get sidetracked!

-My life is Insane

-Snake Talker

No. The creatures masquerading as human beings. The ones that "take care of you".

-Snake Boy

-All concerned Parties

Attn. all who may be thinking of interrupting the time of a certain pair training in the mountains. Bother them and PAY! This means YOU Lady Rose and Samurai. I am not playing around.

-She who Knows

-The Better looking one

Sounds Magnifec! I shall meet you at your place, say the third? and we shall fly away to Pari together!

-She of the Five Fingered Discount

-Gun and Spooky

Don't worry, I'll keep the darker (paler?) one busy so you two can have some down time

-He of the spiky hair

-Lady Wisdom

All right, all right. I'll do it. I'm heading over to see him and the Git right now.

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

-Captain Hairball

$1732.73 for the bumper, fender, and paint.

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

-Those who Watch

anyone who interrupts with a certain meeting between the two older gentlemen, will be barred so deep in the archives they'll never again see daylight. Understood?

-The Blues Man

-Nummy Treat

Right Meet you at the Pouf's place. Be safe.

-Fangs

-He who Hunts Demons

Mmmm sounds nice. I'll pack and meet you at your place. This weekend right?

-Wields the frying pan

-Shaman

How about a nice little camping trip? Just the two of us?

-Blessed Protector

-Snake Boy

... I'm inclined to agree with your opinion that started the argument than. I apologize. I'll be home tonight

-Snake Talker

-She who Knows

We wouldn't DREAM of bothering them, They deserve a bit of time together. Chef and Warrior Woman are off to the Home Land for a bit of training, and as for Samurai, I'm afraid he's a bit under the weather. No worries there.

-Lady Rose & Slight of Hand

-He of the Spiky Hair

Thanks! Much appreciated.

-Caring a BIG gun

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

FINE! I'll pay. I just want to know what you do on the job when things like this happen.

-Captain Hairball

-She of the Five Fingered Discount

I shall see you then most beautiful of Ladies. Until then

-The Better Looking one

-Snake talker

All right. But you're treating me to dinner.

-Snake Boy

-#6 of 7 collect the whole set

That's better, I honestly wonder about you some times. You may come home now.

-Lady Wisdom

-Fangs

My bags are packed and I'm off like a herd of turtles. Ever notice how you can never make a fast getaway in this town?

-Nummy Treat

-Wields the frying pan

Yep. And I told my boss that if he tried to call me in during our trip, I'd quit.

-He who Hunts Demons

-Blessed Protector

only if I get to choose where we go.

-Shaman

-The Purple Fiend

Are you on crack? What the hell possessed you to slip bleach/pink die into my brother's shampoo?

-Oh my GOD, It's him again

-Captain Hairball

I don't drive my vintage cars on runs. And projected repair fees are included in my pricing. I wasn't working when you decided to trade paint with me, so I had to pay out of pocket.

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

-She who Knows

I have a slight situation. I was hoping you would be available to advise me.

-The Noodle Lady

-Shaman

All right, but try not to get too carried away? Love you

-Blessed Protector

-Oh my GOD, It's HIM again

I didn't do it, no one SAW me do it, can't prove a thing

-I tot I taw a puddy tat

-He who Hunts Demons

Good. I'll see you then

-Wields the frying pan

-Nummy and Fangs

have fun you too, I'll keep the Gang from bothering you two, and I am sorry for the mess with the kiss!

-Wicked Witch of Cyber Space

-Snake Boy

Hope you like Italian

-Snake Talker

-Here kitty kitty kitty

You're dead, just thought I'd tell you. Super Genius is beyond pissed.

-Swan Princess

-The guy with the long unpronounceable name

Swing by soon, and the boss is all yours. I think he'll need the distraction

-Bald is Beautiful

-The Noodle Lady

I could be convinced, IF it doesn't involve the guys.

-She Who Knows

-BullySAMA

looking forward to seeing you. I should be able to help that boy of yours.

-Happy

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

the check is in the mail.

-Captain Hairball

-Bald is Beautiful

You're sure about this?

-The guy with the long unpronounceable name

-Purple People Eater

make you're peace with the Universe, kitty cat. I am going to shish-ka-bob you.

-Whily E Cyote, Suuuuuper genius

-She who Knows

Not in the way you think. I want to extend my family through adoption. Do you think he could be convinced?

-The Noodle Lady

-Happy

I don't see any trouble with training, so long as we wait until AFTER the coming weekend. And so long as you don't touch or bother his girl

-BullySAMA

-The guy with the long unpronounceable name

oh yeah. Jr. Came up and the boss is STRESSED. Take him out, and loosen him up. We'll handle any disasters.

-Bald is Beautiful

-Captain Hairball

Nice doing business with you, Sexy. See you around.

-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

-The Noodle Lady

It's possible. Just as long as you don't try to separate them or force him into something he doesn't want.

-She Who Knows

-Whily E Cyote, Suuuuuper genius

Not afraid of you. Besides, you can't find me, nener nener neeeeener!

-Former Queen of the Green People

-Bald is Beautiful

Thank you for the heads up! We had a wooooooooooonderful time, once I got a few drinks into him and loosened him up. Did you know he has excellent taste in movies?

-The guy with the long unpronounceable name

-Oh my GOD, It's HIM again

Tell me again WHY I put up with that Lipstick wearing freak?

-Whily E Cyote, Suuuuuper genius

-She who Knows

Than I shall approach the matter soon. Would you be available to mediate?

-The Noodle Lady

-BullySAMA

you would deny an old man his pleasures?

-Happy

-Whily E Cyote, Suuuuuper genius

Because I'm dating that Lipstick wearing freak.

-Oh my GOD, It's HIM again

-The Noodle Lady

for the usual fee of course.

-She who Knows

-Happy

please keep in mind he killed a God, has died and come back from the dead twice, and is part demon. Don't piss him off

-BullySAMA

Authors Notes:

Harry Potter

Harry- Snake Talker

Draco- Snake boy

They're arguing about a snide comment Draco made about Muggles.

I rather like this pairing! Several wonderful fics featuring these two can be found at: http://www.angelfire.com/art/illustratedhp/artwork.html

Hermione- Lady Wisdom

Ron- #6 of 7. Collect the whole set

These two are fighting because Ron caused the argument between Harry and Draco.

Gatchaman/G-Force/Eagle Riders/Battle of the Planets

Joe the Condor- Oh my God, It's him again

Berg Katze- Former Queen of the Green People, -Purple People Eater, -Here kitty kitty kitty, ect.

A wonderful pair, found at the below link in the wonderful work of Ennien Ashbrook.

Ken the Eagle-Whily E Cyote, Suuuuuper genius

Jun the Swan- Swan Princess

Katze acting juvenilia. And Ken plotting to kill Katze

Fics featuring these ppl can be found at: http://www.gatchfanfic.com/

Ranma 1/2

Ranma- My life is Insane

Ryouga- Lost Boy in Neverland

Love these two, can't ya tell?

Nabiki-She who Knows

Cologne-The Noodle Lady

Sort of a lead in to a fic I'm kinda working on where Ranma has been adopted by the amazons for years and his son visits the village.

Kodachi -Lady Rose

Moose- Slight of Hand

Only ever read this once, and now I can't find the site. Was at RRyaoi though... I think it may have been by Syx Maxwell.

Happosai-Happy

Yu Yu Hakusho

Genkai-BullySAMA

Happy and Genkai are talking about extended training for Yuusuke. A lead in to a fic I'm planning.

Yuusuke-He who Hunts Demons

Kekio- Wields the Frying pan

A cannon pair that can be found at: http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/maiden/319/

In fics by Koko-chan and Blue Spanach, who I also got the idea for the BullySAMA thing too!

Hiei-He of the Dragon

Kurama-Foxy Lover

If you didn't get this, shame on you. Fics with this pair can be found at the above link.

Highlander

Duncan-Boy Scout

Methos-Just a guy

Duncan called Methos by his real name in front of a bunch of watchers. Not good. The Burning and freezing thing if from Power Puff girls the series (yes, yes I know) and their map coordinates. 32degrease North by 120degrease East reverse, so it's south and west instead.

Lots of fics starring these two can be found at: http://www.seventh-dimension.org/index.html

Amanda-She of the Five finger Discount

Connar-The better looking one

Only read one, count it ONE, fic with this couple (pouts) and it's found at the above link.

In a fic called Transcendence (I think)

Joe Dawson-The Blues Man

Sentinel

Jim Elleson- Blessed Protector

Blair Sandburg- Shaman

A lead in to ANOTHER fic where bad things happen to Jim and Blair

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angle the Series

Xander- Nummy Treat

Spike- Fangs

Willow- Wicked Witch of Cyber space

Xander are off to torment Angle in LA, and Willow is covering for them in Sunnydale as an "I'm sorry" for the mess with the love spell.

Gunn- Bald is Beautiful

Lorn- The guy with the long unpronounceable name

Gunn is setting Angle up on a date with Lorn, aka the Host, who's full name is reaaaaaaaly long.

Trigun

Wolfwood- Caring a BIG gun

Legato- Tall Pale and Spooky

Vash the Stampede--He of the spiky hair

N. Denver is short for New Denver. In Trigun the cities are named like that!

Never read a Nick/Legato fic, but the idea was recommended by: Moon Shadow Darth.

Gundam Wing

Zechs-Captain Hairball

Noin-Roadrunner, meep meep, zip-TANG

From Syx Maxwell's Jewels arc. Found at my site.

Duo-Brat and Riding Binki

Une-Scary Uber woman

Wufei-Sword Boy

This goes with Rebuilding and the following side/short stories, also at my site and at: http://4dw.net/deathndragon/fic_main.html

Duo is up holding the tradition of giving Une presents. So he gave her a mural for Memorial Day.