Ritsuka
Does anyone ever wonder what would happen if the "Real Ritsuka" showed up?
A/N: MAJORLY REFORMED
I woke up with a pounding head and the sensation that I had missed a large chunk of my life. Ask me not how one knows exactly how to articulate this sensation but when one come across such a sensation, one will know. Anyway, I felt really bad, like someone had been beating my body with a pillow case full of bricks. Why? Why did I choose 'pillow case full of bricks'? I have no worldly idea. I felt like crap and my brain was... fuzzled?
Hahahahahahahahhhaaah, what a funny word… 'fuzzled'….
I waited a moment to let the pounding and internal hysterics subside a bit. As you can probably tell, my thought process was… off, a little, just a little. It took forever but when I decided it was safe to speak without my brain jumping out of my head and that I wouldn't start randomly laughing at nothing, I started crying. Next on the agenda? Calling for Mommy like a baby?
Why yes, how could I tell?!
"Mom?" I called, hating myself for letting my voice sound so childish and whiny. But I was feeling like I had been mauled by a very large animal, a bear maybe? I feel I was entitled to be childish and whiney, just a little though.
No one answered.
"Mommy?!" I was on the brink of screaming and I hated myself even more for it, I was supposed to be a boy! Boys don't make that kind of noise! Only girls and babies!
Still nothing.
"Seimei?!" I called when nothing from my mother was forthcoming... It took me a moment to realize my mistake. Crap, Seimei was dead! Why was I calling for him? He wasn't going to crawl out of his grave like 'Whoa, baby bro, whatcha need?' last time I checked, dead people didn't do that.
I started to panic, where was everyone? More, how could I have forgotten that my brother was dead? What kind of little brother did that make me? I tried to focus a moment, focusing. There was still the pain in my heart, not that of a fresh wound, but of one that had been healed somewhat by the passage of time.
Worried, and not caring that I hurt all over, I sat up, it didn't take too long for the silence to get to me. Steeling myself, I jumped out of bed, immediately, I knew something was terribly wrong; I hadn't stepped on anything. I glanced around. My room looked a... off. Mom, Dad and I had moved here shortly after Seimei's death and this was my room. Nothing seemed familiar, though it was obviously still my room. It was clean; everything was put away and I couldn't see any of the random stuff I used to have lying around all over. There was the odd book every so often but it still looked like a neat freak lived in my room. And if there is anything that Aoyagi Ritsuka is not, that would be a neat freak. I shuffled forward and nearly tripped; I was dragging my feet in order to get through all the stuff that was not on my floor.
Mom must've done it, I decided definitively.
I glanced around, and there was my bulletin board! I moved over to it. And gaped, what on earth had happened to all the pictures on my bulletin board?! They were all gone; instead there were a lot of pictures of this blonde guy with glasses and no ears and a pink haired girl. I tugged one of the many pictures of the man out from under a thumb tack. The man looked vaguely familiar, as if I'd seen him a couple times on the street and could barely remember his beautiful face. I turned to see what else had changed, setting the picture on my nightstand and picked up a framed picture of the same man. He was painting and obviously didn't know he was being photographed. I looked closer to see what he was painting.
A... butterfly?
This is getting a little weird, I thought, setting the picture frame down.
I peeked out into the hallway. It was darkened, and, abruptly, I was crushed by fear and loneliness. Mom had never really liked me, Dad didn't really seem care and Seimei was gone. I went to Mom's room and opened the door a little. She was in bed and sleeping, I knew she'd get mad if I woke her so I went back to my room and turned on the nightstand lamp, just realizing that I was seeing by the light of the moon. Something glinted from my desk in the dim light.
A cell phone?
I moseyed on over and gingerly picked the phone up. It was silver and was connected to a necklace. It wasn't heavy, though it looked like it might be. I flipped it open.
A butterfly? How gay was that. I mean, I guess it was pretty but... come on, really? I contemplated the butterfly for two second before I decided that this was, indeed, not my phone. I pressed the 'menu' button, then 'contacts'. Maybe I could find out whose phone it was, maybe it was someone I knew.
Agatsuma Soubi...
Hawatari Yuiko...
Kaidou Kio...
Shiori Yayoi...
What the HELL!!! Whose phone was this, who in the holy hell were these people?!
Zero Natsuo...
Zero Yoji...
Who in the hell were they? What kind of name was that?! I stared at the phone in disbelief for a second, wondering why it was in my room? It obviously wasn't mine... But then, why would this random phone be on my desk if it wasn't mine? Maybe I found it or—
I nearly had a heart attack when the damn thing started spastically beeping and vibrating. It took me a moment to recover from the phones spaz attack. Who would be calling at—
I glanced at my alarm clock.
—at ten o' clock at night? How off was that? But maybe it was normal for whoever owned the phone.
Incoming Call:
Agatsuma Soubi
He was one of the contacts... Well, maybe he'd have some answers.
I pressed 'talk'.
"Who are you?" I demanded, skipping the pleasantries. "Why are you calling at ten at night? Who's phone is this? Do you know how—?"
The list could've gone on and on and on and I fully intended for it to but he cut me off.
"Ritsuka? I told about the fighter that called earlier, didn't I? I also remember telling you 'around ten', I need you." Words to describe this voice? Angelic, deep, beautiful... That list could go on and on forever too.
'I need you'? Wow... as soon as the words were said in that voice, I felt myself melting. Words to describe the stuff he was saying? The phrases 'over my head' and 'oh my god crazy' came to mind.
"But—" still confused, I tried to make sense of what was going on. 'Fighter'? More, how did he know my name?! "Who—"
An exasperated sigh, "I'll be there in ten minutes, get ready."
Click.
He hung up. I stood, confused, with the phone to my ear for a moment. What the hell? The dial tone rang in my ear. I snapped the phone shut.
What would be happening in ten ... minutes...
Ten minutes?
Ten minutes?
What was I supposed to get myself ready for? Simply someone I don't know? A child molester? A rapist? A murderer? A killer? A model citizen? Should I call the police? Should I tell mom? For about eleven minutes I was worried about this guy I didn't know, but who knew? Me apparently, he was coming to my house to pick me. I mean what the heck. The middle of the night? Talking nonsense about possibly dangerous situations that apparently needed my person to proceed? Someone in that equation was on drugs. And it was most definitely… most likely… not me? Crap, am I on drugs?! That would explain a lot…. But soon, even hose thoughts began to fade and, then, I started panicking about what on earth he meant by 'fighter' and why it involved me. I do not fight and I will not be an accessory. But eleven minutes after he called, I'm just kind of wondering how loud I could scream for help without Mom waking up. This is if Agatsuma-san ever shows up. I mean seriously, if you're going to scare a small child so badly that he almost pees his pants (not, of course, that I had almost peed myself…) at least be on time!
I got up off my bed and started pacing, again, for lack of anything better to do. Tic-toc, tic-toc, goes the proverbial clock. I paused, since when did I use the word 'proverbial'? Since when did I even know the word 'proverbial'? Now that I thought about it, a lot of words I'd never used. But, apparently, knew, where floating around. I sat down on my bed again, and then I flopped backward, deciding that I should take a nap while I waited for my potential kidnapper. I was worn out; fearing for your life can do that to you. I glanced down at the phone still in my hands. What the hell? Why was I still holding it? I thought angrily, rearing back and preparing to throw the damn thing across the room when it started to chirp and vibrate, again. "What in the name of all that is holy and peaceful and right--" I gasped before I could stop myself. I dropped the little abomination in surprise then stared at it, still kind of shocked.
One second...
Beep, bee-ep, boop, vibrate, bell, vibrate
"Again? What the hell? People calling in the dead of the night? No sense of decency whatsoever!" I grumbled, snatching the phone up from the pillow it had fallen onto and checked the id.
Incoming Call:
Private Name
Private Number
And probably more people spouting off stupid, possibly drug induced, crap about fighting and just generally telling me lies in a nice voice but showing up late and probably a pedophile anyways, coming to kidnap me and taking me to a....
What in the name of all that is holy and pure and sanctified?!
I flipped open the phone.
"Whose phone is this? How did you get this number? Are you going to explain anything? If not you can just go to hell and stay there until you feel like fessing up," I greeted, maybe just a tinny bit aboveandbeyondpissed.
There was a very high pitched, what I assumed was supposed to be, nonchalant giggle. "It's your phone. I got it from Ritsu-Sensei. And I'm not going to go to hell. I don't have any answers." Her voice... annoyed me; I held the phone away from my ear.
I stared at the phone, a little disgruntled that the woman had kept up with my... ranting?
"Who are you and what do you want?" I asked harshly.
"Short term memory loss, eh, Rit-chan?" she giggled again. "It's Nagisa-Sensei, remember? And I want to know just as much as you do."
I hung up the phone. The woman, Nagisa-Sensei apparently, had started making small talk after I'd made it clear that, no, I would not be talking to her. She kept on saying crap about how cute I would look in the matching dress she made for me... I felt it necessary to point out that A) I am, despite popular belief, a boy, B) I had no worldly idea who in the heavens or hells she was, and C) that I would kill her personally if she ever came within six feet of me with a dress that was not on her person. After I threatened her life for about the third or fourth time I realized that I could just hang up.
So I did. And that was the sad end of that… could it even be called a conversation? I would rather call it phone stalking, which serves me better. I plopped down on the edge of my bed having forgotten all about the thirty minute late Agatsuma-san. My mind swirled with questions and for a moment I felt like I could pass out, or cry… again. What was going on? Why was this happening to me? Why did I feel like I'd been sleeping for an eternity? Who where these people who were calling in the dead of night on a phone that is… mine?! If it was my phone why did I have no recollection whatsoever of said phone? Why was—
Stop thinking! An inner voice growled. You're giving me a headache. I meditated on this voice for a moment and on the fact that this was my own head that the voice was speaking of. I decided that I should probably obey; the thinking was giving me a headache. For a second I just stared at the wall.
There was a knock at the door that led to my balcony and I gasped in surprise, scrambling to get away. I really couldn't blame myself. My nerves were worn and I'd just spent the last thirty minutes or so being scared out of my pajama pants and contemplating why I felt like crap and—
Without waiting for an answer the door opened and a tall, lean blonde... adult stepped inside. It was dark out and the street lamps from outside created a halo of light around him.
He is an angel, isn't he? the voice sighed, but I ignored him in favor of gawking. Obviously, hero worshiping was in order. This guy commanded a reaction from me that no one, short of Seimei, obviously, had ever gotten from me. I felt the inexplicable, off the wall notion that I needed to be near him and I almost got up and flung myself at him. Almost.
In spite of the fact that I was having an aneurism from the facts that, A) he had just busted into my room like the kidnapper I'd been waiting for, B) he was an angel without wings, and C) the feeling that I knew him was running rampant along my frayed nerves, I stared at him thoughtfully, trying to place him, but failed miserably. Silence enveloped the room, and I knew, vaguely, that I should be calling for help, or pleading with him not to kill me, but, under me initial panic, I was… at ease, in his presence, whether he was a stranger to me or no. Then I realized why he looked so familiar—the pictures!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I sighed mentally in recognition.
He gave me a funny look, had been giving me a funny look ever since he walked in and I gasped and stared drooling over him, well, minus actual drool. 'Ewwww,' I mentally gagged. 'He's a guuuuuuuuuuuyyy! No more drool!'
Yeeeaaah, the sardonic voice in the back of my head felt the need to chime. Tell that to your libido, Sherlock.
'Libido?' Since when did I even know that word? What did it even mean?
The voice sighed like I was being a thorn, That would be your sex drive, Sherlock.
'Ohhhhhhhh…. Hey!' this mental voice wasn't being very nice, and a little heavy with the 'Sherlock' business. I sat up a little straighter. My normal mental brow beatings didn't usually involve that much sarcasm, or calling myself stupid. I shook it off and silently vowed to stop using that mental voice.
I turned back to...
"Agatsuma-san?" I asked, eyeing him. I got the feeling that he would look better than he did in the pictures if he didn't look so wiped out.
He nodded slowly, still giving me that odd look, and, by nodding, he exposed the bloodied bandage around his neck. I saw a bit of flesh and it was not pretty. Was it infected or something?
"Ritsuka, are you… okay?" he asked slowly, stepping forward, to give me a closer look.
"Me?" I asked incredulously. "What about you? Your neck is bleeding." This, of course was stating the incredibly obvious, but, if I were able to help it….
"Oh, this?" he said noncommittally, his hand absently moving to his neck. "You know that happens… sometimes."
That jerk! He already went to fight—
'You, you shut up. I already agreed not to use you, so shut up.'
To keep the Rude One from piping up again, I jumped up and went to him. I stood on tip toe to get a better look. Blood was sliding down and into his shirt, up close it was even uglier; the flesh that I could see wasn't connected to him and was hanging in jagged, limp strands. I looked away for fear of getting bile on the… cuts, they were probably still flaming with pain… and whatnot.
That's not pretty, the Rude One pointed out, I ignored him.
"God, are you okay? Do you want me to go get..." I was about to say 'my mom' but that was most definitely not a good idea.
He shook his head 'no' anyway. "Look," he instructed his voice not even the slightest bit stressed or pained. He pulled away the tattered bandage to expose the—
"Ewwwwwwwwww," I groaned turning away. "That's gross, Agatsuma-san!"
He rolled his eyes, "This coming from the boy that licked it to ease my pain."
I gasped, "Never in my life would I lick that."
He smiled wryly, "While I was fighting the other couple was really weak anyway, they pointed something out to me. Look," he urged, taking my face in his hands. I resisted but assented slowly and looked up, steeling myself for the gore I was sure to find.
There really wasn't any gore of which to speak, the strips of 'flesh' that I had been seeing had been his bandages. But there was blood, lots of blood, no gore, just… blood. I felt the bile rise again, but there was no wound that I could see that all this blood was even coming from. I could now see clearly that what I had taken for the source of all the blood was instead long healed scar tissue of several long, thin cuts. There, carved into the flesh at the base of his neck, was the word 'LOVELESS' in pointed, uneven lettering. I could clearly see it even through the blood.
"It changed," Agatsuma-san stated, a slight smile playing on his lips.
I stood for a second, gaping disdainfully at the gashes in his neck as he tried to explain the significance of him having a word slashed into the skin, so close to vital things. So far I had nada.
"I'm yours," he stressed, again, putting his hands on my shoulders and guiding me down the sit on the bed. "I am Loveless. In spite of everything that I have ever been taught I have become Loveless. I don't know what happened to your… natural fighter, and I don't care. Because I'm yours."
I nodded totally confused. 'Maybe if I just go along with it he'll go away.'
The voice in my head, which had finally shut up, sputtered, What!!! But—but he was Beloved, he can't change! He sounded outraged for reasons I couldn't discern.
'Apparently, he can,' I thought, 'just going along with it.' So far I had come up with three theories about the voice. 1) I was crazy 2) I was insane and 3) I had lost my mind. Banking really hard on the first three.
NO! He CAN NOT!!! the voice replied vehemently, I didn't reply, he could believe what ever he wanted.
The back of my throat tingled a little and I coughed.
HE CAN NOT CHANGE TO- TO LOVELESS!!! the voice shrieked, sounding as though it were about to degenerate into tears.
I had the urge to cough again but I suppressed it.
Soubi, for his part, stared at me expectantly; I suspected he anticipated jumping for joy. Well it wasn't going to come from me.
"He can't change. He can't change. He was the only bit of Seimei I had left," came a thin voice. I felt my face scrunch up, it sounded like my voice. Well my voice if I were close to tears. My hand lifted to touch the ragged skin at Soubi's neck.
Thaaaat's… definitely odd, I thought idly, as I caressed his skin.
"How could you, Soubi? It wasn't bad enough that you don't follow my orders, now you have to take Seimei away too?"
Okay, I said to the voice in my head, will you shut up? Soubi, dude,... He gave no reaction. Soooouuuubiii? No reaction.
Well, my fingers were curling into his skin, but I couldn't feel it.
Ooookay.
"Ritsuka..." he said, his eyes softening. "I love you."
He leaned in and kissed me and I let him.
Wow, I said to no one that could hear me, of course, I think something might be wrong.