I don't own anything from Ben 10. And you should be thankful for that.

Psyphon sobbed hysterically at the bedside of his dying master, lord Vilgax, the only man-cthulhu-alien-creature he had ever truly loved.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, dolt? It's just a cold," Vilgax grunted. He jerked his large hand free from its place between his idiot servant's tight and unyielding grasp. It had grown all clammy and gross from the sweat. "And keep your inferior lifeform bodily fluids to yourself!" He wiped his hand.

"Oh, lord Vilgax! I'm so sorry I couldn't have you from that despicable punk Tennyson boy's infectious germs," Psyphon sobbed in a high-pitched, shrieking voice. "I promise never to leave you in your time of need."

"It would benefit me greatly if you got the hell away from me for five minutes," Vilgax said, resting his head against his hand while looking irritated beyond capacity.

A waterfall of tears streamed down Psyphon's face. "OH, MASTER! FORGIVE ME!" He threw himself upon Vilgax's large chest. Vilgax shoved him off and wiped the spot while grimacing.

"Gross! Get your pathetic uke tear stains off my regal person," Vilgax roared. He coughed a few times and sneezed once. "And get me more tissues!"

"MY MASTER IS DEAD!" Psyphon shrieked.

"It was a fucking sneeze, you lunatic!" Vilgax slammed his fist down on the armrest of his throne. The entire room shook. "I'm still alive. When I order you to do something, you best to do it. Or can't you hear me over all that hysterical ugly sobbing?"

"I CAN'T BEAR TO BE WITHOUT YOU, MY LORD!" Psyphon screamed while sobbing hysterically even louder than before.

He produced a noose.

"I won't live in a world without Vilgax." He fetched a wooden stool and stood on it.

"GOODBYE, CRUEL VILGAXLESS WORLD!"

He jumped off the stool. He gagged for a few minutes before succumbing to asphyxiation.

Vilgax observed his dead servant with mild interest. He shook his head. He wiped his running nose with his arm and made a gross inhaling of his sinuses.

"What a freak. At least now I have some peace and quiet." He sneezed again, loudly. "SOMEBODY GET IN HERE WITH SOME TISSUES! OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF VILGAX!" He cleared his throat and inserted another lozenge into his mouth. "Next time I build cybernetic servants I'm making sure not to give them personality chips. Those things malfunction too much and always make them go completely fucking insane."

END