Disclaimer: I don't know nothing bout ownin' no Nikkis..

You know those lines in fanfiction that you're not supposed to cross?? I think I just crossed a bunch of them...I wrote...*cough* a few pages of Guile and Nikki slash...

Glenn: *sputters*

I was restarting my old game and I was debating on whether or not I should get Guile or Nikki because as you all know you can't get them both in your party and the idea sort of came to me and hit me on the head. It was Norris' fault.

Norris: Why do you blame everything on me!?!

Because everything is your fault!!! YOU were the one who kept whispering in my ear that this would be a great idea. Now hush or I'll pair you with Sneff.

Norris: *gasp*

Glenn: Nooooo!

And yes, if this fic goes past one-shot retardation into full-on fic retardation, then there is a possibility that Glenn and Norris will...yeah...and FEM SLASH!! Ahahahah...

Glenn: Quit stalling and write the stupid fic already.

*huff*

Nikki (rockin' bard extraordinaire) hummed to himself as he climbed out of the shower and dressed in his pajamas. Skulls and cross bones...wicked A. Nikki chuckled quietly as he towel dried his hair. He'd needed that shower, what with the stress of the up coming concert and the fans flocking outside his door, it was kind of nice to get a chance to just chill. He ran a pale hand through the silken locks before opening the thick oaken door and stepping out of the steamy room, singing softly under his breath the whole way.

"Seven more days and six more fu-!" [1] Nikki stopped mid-verse and yelped in surprise. There was a man IN HIS ROOM. The stranger was tall and slender with tanned smooth skin, clad in all white and a long lavender braid trailing down his back. He was currently bent over studying one of Nikki's guitars. The intruder straightened.

"Oh. Hello." He said nonchalantly. Nikki stammered indignantly for a few moments before he finally came up with something to say.

"What are you doing here? These are my quarters!" He huffed in his best pre- Madonna voice. Behind a golden-hued mask the thief's(?) shining aqua eyes danced with mischief.

"No fortresh is inpreg-imprig-aw hell-I can break in t' any place." Wait, make that jigged with drunkenness rather than danced with mischief.

"You're dunk." Nikki stated flatly. The trespasser laughed heartily before flopping back on Nikki's soft bed, ignoring the bard's shriek of outrage.

"Eyahp." He said, fluffing one of the red pillows.

Guile looked up to find the pretty...whatever looming over them with what he was sure they thought was an imposing scowl on their face. To Guile they just looked like an upset child.

"I'm gonna call the guards." They said matter-of-factly. Guile sat up and swayed lightly. The pajama-clad pretty thing backed away a step or two.

"Are you th' honey?" Guile slurred. They looked agitated and tugged the neck of their pajama's up over their shoulder.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Guile chuckled and waved his hand, as if nudging the air of indigence about his companion away.

"F'r th' past coupla days ev'rybody's been flockin' here like bees t' honey. An' I wanted t' see why so I broke in." He explained. "Are you th' honey?" he repeated.

"I guess you could say so." Nikki said after a thought. The man appeared to be thinking this over hard for a few moments, his eyes nearly crossing in his state of intoxication.

"So yer what all th' hubbub's been about?" He asked at last. Nikki nodded his head. The stranger appeared to take this into consideration. He stood on wobbly legs and peered closely at Nikki. The shorter of the two could smell the wine on the other's breath.

"Hey." The enigmatic man swayed unsteadily. "What's yer name?" He asked, his wobbly unfocused eyes scrutinizing Nikki's face.

"I'm Nikki." He said, raising his chin confidently, and peering at the inebriated stranger in a cool manner. The uninvited guest scowled lightly.

"Well that dun help." He slurred in an evidently exasperated tone. Before Nikki had a chance to inquire the meaning off this odd and seemingly random comment the intruder attempted to stick his hands in a place they definitely didn't belong. Nikki let out a startled yelp and deftly socked the masked drunkard in the eye.

"Oooow...what wazzat for?" He asked, whining piteously and rubbing his offended optic. Nikki squawked indignantly.

"You tried to grope me!" He sputtered, his cheeks turning a rosy hue that actually rather suited him. (Whether this was from anger, embarrassment, or...something else was undetermined.) [2]

"I was tryin' t' figure out if yer a boy or girl thankyouverymuch." He sniffed in a voice that could only be described as haughty, but won't be seeing as how the words were too garbled and he sounded much too comical to really be taken seriously. "Nikki's a name fer boys AN' girls y'know." He said.

Guile inwardly admitted that there could have been a better way to go around it and maybe he could have asked Nikki what gender he was (yes, the other inhabitant in the room was now most definitely a 'he' sort of person) but the wine was making Guile's brain fuzzy and irrational. And it was a well-known fact that the magician enjoyed the adult world much better when he was incoherent.

"Hmph." Nikki crossed his arms over his flat chest and glowered venomously at Guile, obviously offended. "Well I wasn't the one who named me." He said.[3]

"Yer eyes're purple." Guile said suddenly. Nikki just blinked those violet orbs in surprise.

"What does that have to do with anything?" the red-haired musician demanded, completely caught off guard. "Nothing you're saying makes any sense! Are you even thinking straight?"

The masked man stared at Nikki with an un-readable expression for a moment before he clumsily pressed their mouths together. The only thing that the rock-star could think at the moment was: 'Okay yeah he definitely isn't thinking 'straight'.' Several times Nikki contemplated pushing him away and whacking him one in his other eye but for some reason just stood there dumbly. He hadn't really been kissed before. Not like this anyway. It was...nice. The stranger tasted like red wine and felt like wind. Wait...did that make any sense? Was it possible to get drunk off kissing someone already drunk?

Nikki hadn't realized that he'd closed his eyes until the pressure of the other's mouth was gone. He opened his clouded eyes to find himself alone. There was a knock at his door.

"C-come in." Nikki stammered. Miki poked her head in.

"You're still up?" She said in a tone suggesting shock. "It's half past midnight! You should be in bed, we've got a big day tomorrow." She scolded. Nikki nodded numbly as Miki swung the door shut and padded off to her own room. The musician wriggled between the sheets and lay down, turning out the lamp as he went. As his eyes drifted shut he noted that the pillow the stranger had used still smelled vaguely of wine and a dusky scent that was entirely the man himself. With a sleepy smile Nikki touched his lips briefly before dozing off.

[1] Nikki's outfit reminded me of Dr. Frankinfurter (sp??) from Rocky Horror so I decided to let him sing a few of the lyrics from one of his songs. Wahaha... [2] Ahahah....gettin' a little hot and bothered are we Nikki?? Glenn: Must you cheapen everything? Shut up. [3] If Nikki could name himself I wonder what his name'd be?? 0_o