You don't understand.
You don't understand why you're so upset, why you felt like you needed to get it all off your chest.
She doesn't understand either.
At least, that's what you guess from the apprehensive look on her face. Standing in the kitchen area of your apartment, the only light in the room came from the night sky outside and the tall lamp next to your refrigerator.
Neither of you understood.
You remember all the great times you've had here. Waking up next to the brunette, or running your fingers through her hair as she played with the frayed end of her jeans.
Where were those times now?
They disappeared the very second you blew up on her in the squad room. Fin and a few uniform officers were the only one's there to witness the argument between you two. You suppose you're grateful for that.
"Amanda-" She started, you don't even let her finish that sentence.
"Don't you dare Amanda me right now, Olivia." You felt as though you were blowing the entire situation out of proportion. You were tired of being the side girl. It wasn't a good enough excuse to be pissed her, the woman you had an unspoken love for.
Would you even be standing there if you never kissed her 4 months ago in the empty precinct. Probably not.
The two of you stand there, staring at each other. The older woman runs her hands through her hair. "Please, tell me what I did. I want to fix this Amanda."
You look at her and chuckle. "It's not about what you did. It's about me having too poor of judgement to know that I am nothing to you."
Olivia walks closer to you, slowly, testing her boundaries. "Amanda, you aren't 'nothing' to me. You've got to understand that." She wasn't yelling, but her voice was getting higher.
"No, what I need to understand is that I made a mistake. And how absolutelystupid it was of me to believe you could love me the way I love you!" You raised your voice to match hers.
"Amanda, it's not like that." She says softly.
You don't believe her. "Oh really? Then what is like, Olivia? Because the way I'm seeing it, this is just sex to you. I'm tired of trying to be yours, when I know you're looking for so much more."
This time she cuts you off. She pushes you against your own kitchen counter. You stare into those big brown eyes, cursing the heat building from her body pressed flush against your own.
Before you know it, her mouth is on yours. It was a sweetly familiar taste, but had an entirely different feeling to it. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around her neck.
The kiss lasts for as long as it can, until she pulls away.
You blush, feeling embarrassed for your earlier anger, even though it wasn't forgotten, yet. "I think that's the nice way any one has ever told me to shut up."
She chuckles, placing a light kiss to your neck. "I love you, Amanda. It isn't 'just sex' to me."
This admission hits you like a slap to face.
"Olivia, I'm sorry-"
"Don't apologize. I get where you were coming from. It's ok." You kiss her softly.
a/n my sincerest apologies for not updating another season i'm having horrible writer's block for that, hopefully this one-shot i wrote at 4am will make up for it.